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Discussion Starter #1
I can't stop this sadism in me to have fun and objectify a man for my selfish needs and desires.
Here i am writing as clear as I can -_-
This has been in me since a dusty old time, so it's not new.
So, I'm an unsupportable person, I don't like everyone and I'm a big fat hypocrite I'm also calm and playful.
I avoid the existence of guys that are in relationships. Therefore I take advantage from what I see is suitable and in the right time, for the sake of fun, libido fulfillment, pleasure.

Back to le dark urge, what do you think of this kind of behavior in a female?
Am I scary, heartless, abusing, aggressive ...?
I appreciate your time and comment.
 

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I can't stop this sadism in me to have fun and objectify a man for my selfish needs and desires.
Here i am writing as clear as I can -_-
This has been in me since a dusty old time, so it's not new.
So, I'm an unsupportable person, I don't like everyone and I'm a big fat hypocrite I'm also calm and playful.
I avoid the existence of guys that are in relationships. Therefore I take advantage from what I see is suitable and in the right time, for the sake of fun, libido fulfillment, pleasure.

Back to le dark urge, what do you think of this kind of behavior in a female?
Am I scary, heartless, abusing, aggressive ...?
I appreciate your time and comment.
I don't see any sadism here other than maybe narcissism.
I should know. I kinda have a playful sadistic side to me, lol!

but, so long as you're very up front as some men are when they are just out to 'play' the field for nothing but sexual gratification ... I see nothing wrong with it. I tried myself but it didn't really pan out very well.. apparently I have no desire to bite people I don't love. :tongue:
 

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Have you ever read Venus in Furs? You might find it interesting. It's by Leopold Von Sacher Masoch, who masochism was named after. The recently deceased Lou Reed :crying: also has a song about that story. Anyway, there are certainly men who enjoy the flipside of what you enjoy. I've spoken to more than one guy who is masochistic and the guy I'm with sometimes says he'd like it if I were a bit more aggressive.
 

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Am I not being already honest by telling the main first line in many other perspectives?
I think what was meant was that it's probably a good idea not to lead people on, and be brutally upfront with your intentions in any relationship, casual or not.
 
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Discussion Starter #9
Find a passive, masochistic, or otherwise just extremely accommodating man, and I don't see the problem. The only way I really see an issue arising is if this behavior is aimed at a man that isn't okay with it.
You know, I think if a man is matured enough would appreciate to lay back sometimes himself too.
But you're right. If a guy starts getting too emotional I can't keep up, it's not me, not my style.
Yet I think I don't need a whatsoever "masochistic" man. Just someone challenging and understandable. I'm not that scary.
 

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You know, I think if a man is matured enough would appreciate to lay back sometimes himself too.
But you're right. If a guy starts getting too emotional I can't keep up, it's not me, not my style.
Yet I think I don't need a whatsoever "masochistic" man. Just someone challenging and understandable. I'm not that scary.
hahahaha! and here I most definitly need someone with a massochistic side. I so enjoy that. I'm not sure why. I think it might be that I'm short and little and it's exciting and fun to make the bigger person trapped and so on ... it's so much fun to playfully torture. lol! I'm so sick :p

anyways I agree! you are NOT scary. Just not wanting someone overly emotional or want not. Try to be very clear with men in the beginning of your intentions/desires and overall nature. every experience is practice and hopefully I continue at getting better with that myself. I don't know what your personal experience has been but sometimes men see it as a challenge if you openly admit to not be easily emotionally attached. so in that case, I get that. otherwise, I see nothing wrong in your approach of knowing what you like, and knowing what you want. I'm pretty much like that myself.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I don't see any sadism here other than maybe narcissism.
I should know. I kinda have a playful sadistic side to me, lol!

but, so long as you're very up front as some men are when they are just out to 'play' the field for nothing but sexual gratification ... I see nothing wrong with it. I tried myself but it didn't really pan out very well.. apparently I have no desire to bite people I don't love. :tongue:
I haven't found my one yet, or maybe I'm neglecting some shadows.
Anywhos, I'm not playing with everyone and within every way. And if they are complete strangers than nothing serious can ever happen, just playful flirting.
On the other hand, I've tried "biting guys whom I cared about" the thing is they were just not meant for me to be with, you know? They want softer even have seen softness in me which I can laugh till the morning on this but want I need is whlole lotta darker than they were able to handle. I'm not a sex maniac or a BDSM freak, I'm just...not easy to be satisfied.
 

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I haven't found my one yet, or maybe I'm neglecting some shadows.
Anywhos, I'm not playing with everyone and within every way. And if they are complete strangers than nothing serious can ever happen, just playful flirting.
On the other hand, I've tried "biting guys whom I cared about" the thing is they were just not meant for me to be with, you know? They want softer even have seen softness in me which I can laugh till the morning on this but want I need is whlole lotta darker than they were able to handle. I'm not a sex maniac or a BDSM freak, I'm just...not easy to be satisfied.
Oh I get it .. I TOTALLY get it ... I'm not a total freak or sex maniac either. Just intensely playful :p

I kinda think I get the feelings here too in how you question people see you. I don't like it when men think I'm sooo aloof, and cold etc. I'm incredibly warm, just not sentimental. I suppose I'm one who is such a mix of energies that it is disheartening when wondering if there will be an opposing spirit whose mix matches mine. I kinda don't want to give up hope on that though. not sure where you're at with all of this but I'm just trying to figure out myself enough so I can be more apt to find what I want?

of course, there is the other persons opinion to consider.
that always can throw a wrench into the 'heart' of the matter. :tongue:

LOL!! Just joking! :p
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I meant to those you're involved with, not to us. xD
Lol even in my most playful times I'm still cold.
I don't let things roll on their own, I control them and I like playing fair. Maybe being too honest gives guys the wrong idea. Or being not girly enough and open is considered accepting whatever it is -.-
 

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Lol even in my most playful times I'm still cold.
I don't let things roll on their own, I control them and I like playing fair. Maybe being too honest gives guys the wrong idea. Or being not girly enough and open is considered accepting whatever it is -.-
ugh. trust me. I get it. I'm either too honest or not enough so. and I'm super girly so often misperceived.

this is why I get frustrated and wish I could just 'fit in' and be maybe an itty bit more 'normal'.

you're not alone in being unique and not "easy" to get ..

so, not sure if that's any consolation but there is that.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Have you ever read Venus in Furs? You might find it interesting. It's by Leopold Von Sacher Masoch, who masochism was named after. The recently deceased Lou Reed :crying: also has a song about that story. Anyway, there are certainly men who enjoy the flipside of what you enjoy. I've spoken to more than one guy who is masochistic and the guy I'm with sometimes says he'd like it if I were a bit more aggressive.
No I haven't.
But it's not actually a sado-maso thing. It really isn't. The idea is that I'm a bit sadistic. But I refuse to pet-ify a man and be a bitchy dom over him. It's more of mutable sadism let's say...
 

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No I haven't.
But it's not actually a sado-maso thing. It really isn't. The idea is that I'm a bit sadistic. But I refuse to pet-ify a man and be a bitchy dom over him. It's more of mutable sadism let's say...
omg yes! someone else who has NO desire to be a cunt but finds pleasure in playing 'the boss'.

YAY! I'm not the only one! :kitteh:
 

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Discussion Starter #18
hahahaha! and here I most definitly need someone with a massochistic side. I so enjoy that. I'm not sure why. I think it might be that I'm short and little and it's exciting and fun to make the bigger person trapped and so on ... it's so much fun to playfully torture. lol! I'm so sick :p

anyways I agree! you are NOT scary. Just not wanting someone overly emotional or want not. Try to be very clear with men in the beginning of your intentions/desires and overall nature. every experience is practice and hopefully I continue at getting better with that myself. I don't know what your personal experience has been but sometimes men see it as a challenge if you openly admit to not be easily emotionally attached. so in that case, I get that. otherwise, I see nothing wrong in your approach of knowing what you like, and knowing what you want. I'm pretty much like that myself.
Yeah... that's actually what I sometimes like too...I am little sized too >.>
Oh you can't imagine how clear I am, what most people can't handle. Maybe the majority of men are mentally prepared for complexes or pre-planned strategies which are not applicable with me so that's what scares them. I say scare because you should see the way they behave. Just like 5 year old boys. Too predictable, too easy.

Oh I get it .. I TOTALLY get it ... I'm not a total freak or sex maniac either. Just intensely playful :p

I kinda think I get the feelings here too in how you question people see you. I don't like it when men think I'm sooo aloof, and cold etc. I'm incredibly warm, just not sentimental. I suppose I'm one who is such a mix of energies that it is disheartening when wondering if there will be an opposing spirit whose mix matches mine. I kinda don't want to give up hope on that though. not sure where you're at with all of this but I'm just trying to figure out myself enough so I can be more apt to find what I want?

of course, there is the other persons opinion to consider.
that always can throw a wrench into the 'heart' of the matter. :tongue:

LOL!! Just joking! :p
Yup. Personally for me it's maybe the unreadable famous INTJ face. Sarcasm, seriousness, playfulness, sadism all at once with maybe is sexy for le men. Psychologically I'm fucked up and aware of the reasons, so this is just me.
Although I agree, there is a bit whole too much in me and converting those into seduction is an art.
Pff I know who I am, plus someone shouldn't stop figuring out or creating, adding up stuff in his/her persona. Otherwise he/she will be a boring, dead more or less dusty out of date book.
 

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No I haven't.
But it's not actually a sado-maso thing. It really isn't. The idea is that I'm a bit sadistic. But I refuse to pet-ify a man and be a bitchy dom over him. It's more of mutable sadism let's say...
I don't really know what you mean by bitchy but I don't know if that's really what masochists are attracted to... It's mostly about humiliation, being controlled, and/or used. So it's not like most masochists enjoy just being flat out insulted by the person they like. It is usually more subtle, not with everyone though. There is a scene that involves pet or slave type relationships and more extreme things, but that's just a scene and I think this is a more complex psychological issue than effects only people who experience it to the furthest extreme. I bet Venus in Furs will surprise you. :) I think most people with sadistic or masochistic tendencies wouldn't identify themselves as having them because of the stigma.
 

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I don't really know what you mean by bitchy but I don't know if that's really what masochists are attracted to... It's mostly about humiliation, being controlled, and/or used. So it's not like most masochists enjoy just being flat out insulted by the person they like. It is usually more subtle, not with everyone though. There is a scene that involves pet or slave type relationships and more extreme things, but that's just a scene and I think this is a more complex psychological issue than effects only people who experience it to the furthest extreme. I bet Venus in Furs will surprise you. :) I think most people with sadistic or masochistic tendencies wouldn't identify themselves as having them because of the stigma.
Bitchy, control freak, hypocrite.
Oh that's not me. As I've mentioned I refuse pet-ifing men.
I think maso people (the extreme) hit to a limit that they don't feel shame anymore, so humiliating them would be like talking in an unknown language to them, nothing more.
I know, tho slavery is a not bad idea to apply occasionally (both sides), as I said a mutual challenge. There comes the bit sadistic side and maybe chained fists, but no further psychopathic stuff.
I admit I like watching those in anime, real porn is boring and a waste of time for me, since nothing of what's happening interrestes me or shakes a bone in me >.>
In conclusion I AM fucked up and I watch fucked up stuff, the watcher is the same as what he/she watches.

Alright, I'll search for Venus in Furs but I admit I hate feminism movements or bitchy doms I a recently said so if it's clearly a sado-maso thing, I don't need to fuck my brain more than it already is.
 
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