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I. Passion vs Career
How are you supposed to know at the beginning of like what's going to make you happy?
You can't know that. People will tell you, your parents will tell you "do this, study chemistry, go become a lawyer, it will give you a stable job, do this and it will make you happy", but like, how do they know? you don't even know, how are they supposed to know? how is anyone supposed to know?
We got this idea of a "career", and then we got this idea of a "passion".
And we really struggle because we invest time in this career, because it provdes safety: it provides money, it provides a nice place to live. Sort of a nice lifestyle.
And then we have this thing that excites us an is our passion.
And what tens to happen is that a lot of times when we're young and in our 20s, we see this fork in the road: should I choose my career or should I choose my passion?
And we're really stuck because a lot of times at this point we've already invested so much. So we've "wasted 6 years", or "I wasted 6 years of my life studying chemistry". "And if I quit it, then that 6 years becomes a waste".
And then we're kind of like, there's this fork in the road and what we're really trying to do is live a life without regrets.
It's like: which choice can I make that I won't regret?
The big irony here: It's the fear of not making a mistake that actually creates regret in your life.
It's super paradoxical, but we try not to make a mistake, why? because we don't want to live with regrets.
And the irony is that: it's our avoidance of making mistakes that causes us to live with regret.
The first thing that I'd say if you're struggling with this is: why are you asking this now?
The instinctual response would be: well, now I invested 6 years into this, I need to know now, whether I want to commit to chemistry or not.
Well, you could have made that choice at 5 years of study, 4 years of study, 3 years of study. So there's always this sense that we need to make this big commitment now. And that always comes back to the idea that we don't want to live our life with regrets. We don't want to make a mistake.
We have this idea that the way to be succesful is to choose our passion.
And we have this mythologized idea that some people make their passion work and that's what I have to do.
And when I look at this situation - when You Can't Choose Between Your Passion & Career - what I really see is like a fear of regret.
So what drive people crazy is like not knowing what to do.
And then that begs the question: why do you have to know what to do?
"- Well that way I don't make mistakes"
"- Okay, so what's your understanding of how you develop a career, how do you develop your path? like, how does this stuff work? 6 years to figure out you don't like chemistry is not a waste, that's the price of knowledge."
So the question is: "Should I pick chemistry or should I pick music? what is the right choice?". And what is the right choice? it's the one you're not going to regret, it's the one you're going to be happy about. But how on Earth do you know what you're going to be happy with?
Like think about that for a second:
Because you don't know, you can't see the future. So if you can't see the future, you can't make the right choice.
So then the question is: how do I choose if I can't make the right choice?
THAT'S WHEN PARADOXICALLY YOU CAN BE FREE.
Recognize that wasted time is the price of figuring it out.
Like, how are you supposed to know at the beginning of like what's going to make you happy? you can't know that.
People can tell you, your parents can tell you "oh, do this, study chemistry, it will give you a stable job, do this, it will make you happy", but how do they know? like, you don't even know, how are they supposed to know? how is anyone supposed to know?
Figuring out what makes you happy in life is like something you got to figure out.
It requires experimentation.
So how do you choose? The first thing you got to do is recognize that you could be making a mistake.
You can't blame you for not making a mistake.
It's sort of like: If I go to Japan, and someone gives me 2 pieces of food and I have no idea what they are, like, if I try one am I going to like it or not like it? I have no idea, there's no way to know which one I'm going to like, so what should I do? I should just try one.
Like: pick one, you get to eat one.
And you're like: how the heck am I supposed to choose?
There's nothing I can base it on. (Exactly! so you need to gain more experience)
So recognize first of all, that the fear of making a mistake in life is actually what's going to cause you to feel regret.
Because what's going to happen is: you're afraid of making the wrong choice (but you have no information to make the right choice) so you're going to end up picking something, either food 1 or food 2.
And then something it's going to happen and you're like "maybe it's the wrong choice", then your mind is going to be like "oh, I should have picked the other one".
So, from the get go - recognize that you could be making the wrong choice.
PARADOXICALLY, THIS WILL ACTUALLY HELP YOU.
So what I would generally recommend for someone torn between choosing your career or passion, and I think this is generally speaking the safer choice: If you've invested 6 years in chemistry, and you're enjoying your life somewhat right now, I would say follow through with that.
You don't want to throw away that 6 years so easily.
I'm not saying that you don't want to throw it away, I'm saying that you should throw it away intentionally when you're 100% ready to throw it away.
And how do you know when you're 100% ready? When you've done it for a while, and then you really realize "ok, this is not for me, this is not what I want to do", that's when you're ready to throw it away.
So I'll give you an example:
When I talk to people who want to make career changes, what it tends to happen is you have one career, and then in a sense that career becomes so intorelable, that you have no choice but to quit.
And the interesting thing is: when you reach that point, there is no regret.
There is like 0 regret. It's like "okay, I tried this, I really gave it every effort possible".
"And it's really not working for me, I can't stand it anymore, time to let it go".
And they may say "oh, I wasted time" and stuff like that, you talk about that, but at the end of the day: let experience be your guide.
YOU CAN'T PREDICT THE FUTURE, SO WHAT YOU NEED TO MAKE A GOOD DECISION IS EXPERIENCE.
So if you are on the crossroads: should I choose my career or should I choose my passion? I'd say take the safe bet for now, choose your career.
As you take the safe bet notice what happens to your passion of music.
Does your unhappiness increase with each passing day? that's a very very important question and data point.
WE TRY TO AVOID UNHAPPINESS, BUT WHAT WE DON'T REALISE IS THAT UNHAPPINESS IS GOING TO BE OUR COMPASS.
When we try to avoid unhappiness we don't have enough data and then we don't know what thing to choose.
The interesting thing is that - it's through the unhappiness that we know what feels right and what feels wrong.
So I'll give you another example:
I once talked to someone who was dating 2 people. Not really dating 2 people, dating 1 person, things fell apart, and he was trying to figure out: should I try to patch things together or not?
They dated someone else who on paper was a lot better for them. And they were like really struggling, so they came to me and they said "well, I've got a problem in my relationship", "well, what's your problem?", "I really don't enjoy being with this person at all".
Like, with that last person, being with them was amazing, but with this person it's just really not, I don't know, there's something wrong with me, do I have like a problem? We talked for a while, and kind of came to the conclusion that the heart and the body knows what it wants. They ended up choosing neither of them.
That's the other key takeaway: there's always a 3rd option.
A lot of time in life we think that choices are binary, but life is not like that, life is open, life is a sandbox game. You don't have to choose either one. There's actually like choice number 3. There's "none of the above", you can select that.
I think the key thing here is that: This person was right on paper for them, but they just weren't feeling it. This person is like: stable, they're not abusive, they treat me with respect, they care about me, they get me nice things for my birthday and stuff like that, they're like attentive and thoughtful. But I'm just not into them, there's no fun and no connection in the relationship.
That was kind of the conclusion that the person came to.
And then they were able to leave the relationship with like 0% regrets. But, if they have left too early, then they would have had a regret, because they would have never known.
But they gave it a fair shot. And then they let their experience, they let their unhappiness, they let their dissatisfaction, guide them.
The key thing to remember is that what makes that decision easy, what makes that decision free of regret, what really guides you, is that experience.
And it's the avoidance of that experience that causes regret.
If you're kind of making money in your job and you're like "I don't know if this is fulfilling enough", "I enjoy this thing, my passion is better"
You make that money for a while, you do your job, you don't enjoy it perfectly, and then you see what happens, can you manage this? is this good for you? can you tolerate it?
Or, what's going to happen is your unhappiness is going to increase, increase, increase, increase. And as your unhappiness increases, then your decision will become clear to you, and then you won't be confused, you won't be faced with this kind of thing.
"So what drive people crazy is like not knowing what to do", what's going to fix the lack of clarity? what is going to help you decide? your experience.
And then you're going to leave without regrets.
You're like "this is absolutely not the right thing for me", "I need to move on".
And then you may think: well, wouldn't it it be better if I left a year ago?
No, because you wouldn't have had the experience.
I don't really think so, because what I tend to see is that when you leave, with that degree of certainity, when you leave with that degree of confidence, it launches you into the new thing without any doubt and with an unbelieveable amount of passion and motivation.
You have so much appreciation for the thing that you choose now.
And if you try to choose now, one year earlier, what you're going to have is doubt and the possibility of regret. Because you'll never know.
Like, you are never going to know if chemistry was good for you. And then you're going to be stuck like "oh, did I make the right choice?", "did I make the wrong choice?".
SO GO TO THE END OF ONE ROAD.
Go all the way to the end of it. Or until you realize "this is not where I want to go".
And then walk back and take the other one.
Practically, what I'd suggest is that if you've invested a heavy amount of time, go for this and see how it works, play the safest option first and go to the end of the road. Maybe you'll like it, maybe not, and then you can move on to the other thing with full confidence. Pick the safest option and walk the full road.
The other thing is, don't worry about regrets, recognize that it's a coin flip.
Whatever you do could be the wrong choice, and that's okay, that's life. That's how you figure out what you want to do.
You can be like "at 28 I became a lawyer but I wasted so much time there, in between being undecided and making career changes, at 22 I could have been a great lawyer, like 6 years ago, and been such a good lawyer today". But that's not how it works.
This is the thing that I want to emphasize, people think that these 6 years are wasted.
Where as in my experience, overwhelming experience, it's not wasted, at all.
You will be amazed at what you learned in those 6 years that would help you with being a lawyer.
So even if you're a lawyer or chemist, doing something that you don't love for 6 years and doing a decent job, the ability to develop work ethics in the absence of motivation and passion is absolutely worth a 6 years investment.
Because when you move to music, whether you succed to music or not, you can't base it on your passion.
You can't base it on your interest, you're not going to be succesful that way. You need that work ethic.
You even need "hey, I'm choosing music after 7 years of being a chemist, I really got to make it work, because I have given up a lot to choose this". That kind of motivation, that kind of passion, that kind of sacrifice, will let you double down and do so much better.
You won't realise the value of what you've been given, until you'll have to make a real sacrifice to get it.
And this is why you can do great in music afterwards.
A lot of people can be streamline professionals, but you'll be like "this is my last chance at life", down to your final respawn, and after this you have to start the game over, like "I ain't giving this up".
That tenacitiy that you get that leads to success, what people don't realise is that comes from walking the road of failure.
It comes from making mistakes, it comes from living a life of like "no regrets, 100% in, walk the road until the end".
Then people are like: How do I find that tenacity and motivation? you make a mistake.
You choose something, you see what makes you unhappy, and then you're like "screw that, I'm done".
So the problem here is that everyone wants that passion but they don't want to pay the price for it. So pay the price, make a mistake, pick. In this sense I'd say pick the safest option, pick chemistry.
Because financial stability is really important.
And I'd kind of say do that route where: you work on your chemistry, you try to work on your music in your free time as a side hussle, you give that a shot, and then 1 of 2 things will become clear.
1. That you're actually doing okay as a musician in your free time as a side hussle. You start to get better, start to get better, start to get better, you really realize "okay, this is what I want to do, let me abbandon chemistry".
2. Or what's going to happen is you're going to realize "okay, I don't have the energy for it, I can't do music and chemistry at the same time". Months go by, you want to work on music, you want to work on music, you want to wrok on music, not happening, not happening, not happening, not happening. And then you get frustrated with it "I have to choose".
So Bill Gates dropped out of Harward College, right? but he went!
He didn't choose not to go. He waited until something was really important to him and worth dropping out.
So if you're trying to decide - should I try to drop out of this or not? I would say wait until something is worth it.
Because then you know, cause the interesting thing is the size of the sacrifice you make, cognitively, boosts your motivation by a comparable amount.
And we've seen this in a lot of interesting places.
When we have really really strong helicopter parents (overlyprotective parents, helicopter because like helicopters, they "hover overhead", overseeing every aspect of their child's life constantly) that live vicarously through their kids, that tenacity of wanting my kid to be No.1 is directly corelated to their perception of what they had to give up.
"I'm going to make sure my child is the best in the universe, because I got pregnant and had to drop out of college".
So in order to make that worth it, that tenacity, with being a helicopter parent, is through the roof. Is that bad for the kid? absolutely. But let's think for a moment where scientifically where that tenacity comes from? where does that motivation come from? it comes from the sacrifice.
So motivation can come from sacrifice, 100%. Your own sacrifice, not someone else's sacrifice imposed on you.
So if you want to find it, you got to pay the price. You have to pay the blood price. Have to. Got to pay that karmic price, call it whatever you want to.
And don't be afraid, mistakes are a part of life, that's how we know what to do.
So here we are, ahead of time, trying to figure everything out, which food should I eat for the rest of my life? That "rest of your life" sounds kind of fatalistic, it's not going to be the rest of your life, but it feels that way.
I've never tried anything, how do I know? If you get to pick one food for the rest of your life, should it be Mexican? should it be Japanese, Indian, American? I don't know how to pick. So try everything.
And there we are thinking "oh my god, I choose to eat Sushi today, I missed out on the Burger", it's like "okay, you can have a Burger tomorrow", but then you're like "I didn't eat Burgers 2 days in a row, I could have eaten Burgers 2 days in a row, I could have had!", "yes, you missed on that enjoyment, that's part of it, you got to pay the price of knowledge, to figure out what you want to do in life".
If you're stuck between 2 things, be prepared to make a mistake, and start with the safest option, walk the full road to the end of it, and then see what it is like.
As you choose 1 thing recognize that overtime, your soul will tell you whether this is the right move or not. And as that discomfort increases, that dissatisfaction increases, you'll know, that's your compass.
And then you'll move forward with a lot of energy.
How are you supposed to know at the beginning of like what's going to make you happy?
You can't know that. People will tell you, your parents will tell you "do this, study chemistry, go become a lawyer, it will give you a stable job, do this and it will make you happy", but like, how do they know? you don't even know, how are they supposed to know? how is anyone supposed to know?
We got this idea of a "career", and then we got this idea of a "passion".
And we really struggle because we invest time in this career, because it provdes safety: it provides money, it provides a nice place to live. Sort of a nice lifestyle.
And then we have this thing that excites us an is our passion.
And what tens to happen is that a lot of times when we're young and in our 20s, we see this fork in the road: should I choose my career or should I choose my passion?
And we're really stuck because a lot of times at this point we've already invested so much. So we've "wasted 6 years", or "I wasted 6 years of my life studying chemistry". "And if I quit it, then that 6 years becomes a waste".
And then we're kind of like, there's this fork in the road and what we're really trying to do is live a life without regrets.
It's like: which choice can I make that I won't regret?
The big irony here: It's the fear of not making a mistake that actually creates regret in your life.
It's super paradoxical, but we try not to make a mistake, why? because we don't want to live with regrets.
And the irony is that: it's our avoidance of making mistakes that causes us to live with regret.
The first thing that I'd say if you're struggling with this is: why are you asking this now?
The instinctual response would be: well, now I invested 6 years into this, I need to know now, whether I want to commit to chemistry or not.
Well, you could have made that choice at 5 years of study, 4 years of study, 3 years of study. So there's always this sense that we need to make this big commitment now. And that always comes back to the idea that we don't want to live our life with regrets. We don't want to make a mistake.
We have this idea that the way to be succesful is to choose our passion.
And we have this mythologized idea that some people make their passion work and that's what I have to do.
And when I look at this situation - when You Can't Choose Between Your Passion & Career - what I really see is like a fear of regret.
So what drive people crazy is like not knowing what to do.
And then that begs the question: why do you have to know what to do?
"- Well that way I don't make mistakes"
"- Okay, so what's your understanding of how you develop a career, how do you develop your path? like, how does this stuff work? 6 years to figure out you don't like chemistry is not a waste, that's the price of knowledge."
So the question is: "Should I pick chemistry or should I pick music? what is the right choice?". And what is the right choice? it's the one you're not going to regret, it's the one you're going to be happy about. But how on Earth do you know what you're going to be happy with?
Like think about that for a second:
- Let's say you pick your passion, you pick music, and nothing works out after 2 or 3 years. Then what? then you're going to have a regret.
- Let's say you pick chemistry, and then in the back of your mind you're like "well, I should have picked music", "I should have", then you're going to have a regret.
Because you don't know, you can't see the future. So if you can't see the future, you can't make the right choice.
So then the question is: how do I choose if I can't make the right choice?
THAT'S WHEN PARADOXICALLY YOU CAN BE FREE.
Recognize that wasted time is the price of figuring it out.
Like, how are you supposed to know at the beginning of like what's going to make you happy? you can't know that.
People can tell you, your parents can tell you "oh, do this, study chemistry, it will give you a stable job, do this, it will make you happy", but how do they know? like, you don't even know, how are they supposed to know? how is anyone supposed to know?
Figuring out what makes you happy in life is like something you got to figure out.
It requires experimentation.
So how do you choose? The first thing you got to do is recognize that you could be making a mistake.
You can't blame you for not making a mistake.
It's sort of like: If I go to Japan, and someone gives me 2 pieces of food and I have no idea what they are, like, if I try one am I going to like it or not like it? I have no idea, there's no way to know which one I'm going to like, so what should I do? I should just try one.
Like: pick one, you get to eat one.
And you're like: how the heck am I supposed to choose?
There's nothing I can base it on. (Exactly! so you need to gain more experience)
So recognize first of all, that the fear of making a mistake in life is actually what's going to cause you to feel regret.
Because what's going to happen is: you're afraid of making the wrong choice (but you have no information to make the right choice) so you're going to end up picking something, either food 1 or food 2.
And then something it's going to happen and you're like "maybe it's the wrong choice", then your mind is going to be like "oh, I should have picked the other one".
So, from the get go - recognize that you could be making the wrong choice.
PARADOXICALLY, THIS WILL ACTUALLY HELP YOU.
So what I would generally recommend for someone torn between choosing your career or passion, and I think this is generally speaking the safer choice: If you've invested 6 years in chemistry, and you're enjoying your life somewhat right now, I would say follow through with that.
You don't want to throw away that 6 years so easily.
I'm not saying that you don't want to throw it away, I'm saying that you should throw it away intentionally when you're 100% ready to throw it away.
And how do you know when you're 100% ready? When you've done it for a while, and then you really realize "ok, this is not for me, this is not what I want to do", that's when you're ready to throw it away.
So I'll give you an example:
When I talk to people who want to make career changes, what it tends to happen is you have one career, and then in a sense that career becomes so intorelable, that you have no choice but to quit.
And the interesting thing is: when you reach that point, there is no regret.
There is like 0 regret. It's like "okay, I tried this, I really gave it every effort possible".
"And it's really not working for me, I can't stand it anymore, time to let it go".
And they may say "oh, I wasted time" and stuff like that, you talk about that, but at the end of the day: let experience be your guide.
YOU CAN'T PREDICT THE FUTURE, SO WHAT YOU NEED TO MAKE A GOOD DECISION IS EXPERIENCE.
So if you are on the crossroads: should I choose my career or should I choose my passion? I'd say take the safe bet for now, choose your career.
As you take the safe bet notice what happens to your passion of music.
Does your unhappiness increase with each passing day? that's a very very important question and data point.
WE TRY TO AVOID UNHAPPINESS, BUT WHAT WE DON'T REALISE IS THAT UNHAPPINESS IS GOING TO BE OUR COMPASS.
When we try to avoid unhappiness we don't have enough data and then we don't know what thing to choose.
The interesting thing is that - it's through the unhappiness that we know what feels right and what feels wrong.
So I'll give you another example:
I once talked to someone who was dating 2 people. Not really dating 2 people, dating 1 person, things fell apart, and he was trying to figure out: should I try to patch things together or not?
They dated someone else who on paper was a lot better for them. And they were like really struggling, so they came to me and they said "well, I've got a problem in my relationship", "well, what's your problem?", "I really don't enjoy being with this person at all".
Like, with that last person, being with them was amazing, but with this person it's just really not, I don't know, there's something wrong with me, do I have like a problem? We talked for a while, and kind of came to the conclusion that the heart and the body knows what it wants. They ended up choosing neither of them.
That's the other key takeaway: there's always a 3rd option.
A lot of time in life we think that choices are binary, but life is not like that, life is open, life is a sandbox game. You don't have to choose either one. There's actually like choice number 3. There's "none of the above", you can select that.
I think the key thing here is that: This person was right on paper for them, but they just weren't feeling it. This person is like: stable, they're not abusive, they treat me with respect, they care about me, they get me nice things for my birthday and stuff like that, they're like attentive and thoughtful. But I'm just not into them, there's no fun and no connection in the relationship.
That was kind of the conclusion that the person came to.
And then they were able to leave the relationship with like 0% regrets. But, if they have left too early, then they would have had a regret, because they would have never known.
But they gave it a fair shot. And then they let their experience, they let their unhappiness, they let their dissatisfaction, guide them.
The key thing to remember is that what makes that decision easy, what makes that decision free of regret, what really guides you, is that experience.
And it's the avoidance of that experience that causes regret.
If you're kind of making money in your job and you're like "I don't know if this is fulfilling enough", "I enjoy this thing, my passion is better"
You make that money for a while, you do your job, you don't enjoy it perfectly, and then you see what happens, can you manage this? is this good for you? can you tolerate it?
Or, what's going to happen is your unhappiness is going to increase, increase, increase, increase. And as your unhappiness increases, then your decision will become clear to you, and then you won't be confused, you won't be faced with this kind of thing.
"So what drive people crazy is like not knowing what to do", what's going to fix the lack of clarity? what is going to help you decide? your experience.
And then you're going to leave without regrets.
You're like "this is absolutely not the right thing for me", "I need to move on".
And then you may think: well, wouldn't it it be better if I left a year ago?
No, because you wouldn't have had the experience.
I don't really think so, because what I tend to see is that when you leave, with that degree of certainity, when you leave with that degree of confidence, it launches you into the new thing without any doubt and with an unbelieveable amount of passion and motivation.
You have so much appreciation for the thing that you choose now.
And if you try to choose now, one year earlier, what you're going to have is doubt and the possibility of regret. Because you'll never know.
Like, you are never going to know if chemistry was good for you. And then you're going to be stuck like "oh, did I make the right choice?", "did I make the wrong choice?".
SO GO TO THE END OF ONE ROAD.
Go all the way to the end of it. Or until you realize "this is not where I want to go".
And then walk back and take the other one.
Practically, what I'd suggest is that if you've invested a heavy amount of time, go for this and see how it works, play the safest option first and go to the end of the road. Maybe you'll like it, maybe not, and then you can move on to the other thing with full confidence. Pick the safest option and walk the full road.
The other thing is, don't worry about regrets, recognize that it's a coin flip.
Whatever you do could be the wrong choice, and that's okay, that's life. That's how you figure out what you want to do.
You can be like "at 28 I became a lawyer but I wasted so much time there, in between being undecided and making career changes, at 22 I could have been a great lawyer, like 6 years ago, and been such a good lawyer today". But that's not how it works.
This is the thing that I want to emphasize, people think that these 6 years are wasted.
Where as in my experience, overwhelming experience, it's not wasted, at all.
You will be amazed at what you learned in those 6 years that would help you with being a lawyer.
So even if you're a lawyer or chemist, doing something that you don't love for 6 years and doing a decent job, the ability to develop work ethics in the absence of motivation and passion is absolutely worth a 6 years investment.
Because when you move to music, whether you succed to music or not, you can't base it on your passion.
You can't base it on your interest, you're not going to be succesful that way. You need that work ethic.
You even need "hey, I'm choosing music after 7 years of being a chemist, I really got to make it work, because I have given up a lot to choose this". That kind of motivation, that kind of passion, that kind of sacrifice, will let you double down and do so much better.
You won't realise the value of what you've been given, until you'll have to make a real sacrifice to get it.
And this is why you can do great in music afterwards.
A lot of people can be streamline professionals, but you'll be like "this is my last chance at life", down to your final respawn, and after this you have to start the game over, like "I ain't giving this up".
That tenacitiy that you get that leads to success, what people don't realise is that comes from walking the road of failure.
It comes from making mistakes, it comes from living a life of like "no regrets, 100% in, walk the road until the end".
Then people are like: How do I find that tenacity and motivation? you make a mistake.
You choose something, you see what makes you unhappy, and then you're like "screw that, I'm done".
So the problem here is that everyone wants that passion but they don't want to pay the price for it. So pay the price, make a mistake, pick. In this sense I'd say pick the safest option, pick chemistry.
Because financial stability is really important.
And I'd kind of say do that route where: you work on your chemistry, you try to work on your music in your free time as a side hussle, you give that a shot, and then 1 of 2 things will become clear.
1. That you're actually doing okay as a musician in your free time as a side hussle. You start to get better, start to get better, start to get better, you really realize "okay, this is what I want to do, let me abbandon chemistry".
2. Or what's going to happen is you're going to realize "okay, I don't have the energy for it, I can't do music and chemistry at the same time". Months go by, you want to work on music, you want to work on music, you want to wrok on music, not happening, not happening, not happening, not happening. And then you get frustrated with it "I have to choose".
So Bill Gates dropped out of Harward College, right? but he went!
He didn't choose not to go. He waited until something was really important to him and worth dropping out.
So if you're trying to decide - should I try to drop out of this or not? I would say wait until something is worth it.
Because then you know, cause the interesting thing is the size of the sacrifice you make, cognitively, boosts your motivation by a comparable amount.
And we've seen this in a lot of interesting places.
When we have really really strong helicopter parents (overlyprotective parents, helicopter because like helicopters, they "hover overhead", overseeing every aspect of their child's life constantly) that live vicarously through their kids, that tenacity of wanting my kid to be No.1 is directly corelated to their perception of what they had to give up.
"I'm going to make sure my child is the best in the universe, because I got pregnant and had to drop out of college".
So in order to make that worth it, that tenacity, with being a helicopter parent, is through the roof. Is that bad for the kid? absolutely. But let's think for a moment where scientifically where that tenacity comes from? where does that motivation come from? it comes from the sacrifice.
So motivation can come from sacrifice, 100%. Your own sacrifice, not someone else's sacrifice imposed on you.
So if you want to find it, you got to pay the price. You have to pay the blood price. Have to. Got to pay that karmic price, call it whatever you want to.
And don't be afraid, mistakes are a part of life, that's how we know what to do.
So here we are, ahead of time, trying to figure everything out, which food should I eat for the rest of my life? That "rest of your life" sounds kind of fatalistic, it's not going to be the rest of your life, but it feels that way.
I've never tried anything, how do I know? If you get to pick one food for the rest of your life, should it be Mexican? should it be Japanese, Indian, American? I don't know how to pick. So try everything.
And there we are thinking "oh my god, I choose to eat Sushi today, I missed out on the Burger", it's like "okay, you can have a Burger tomorrow", but then you're like "I didn't eat Burgers 2 days in a row, I could have eaten Burgers 2 days in a row, I could have had!", "yes, you missed on that enjoyment, that's part of it, you got to pay the price of knowledge, to figure out what you want to do in life".
If you're stuck between 2 things, be prepared to make a mistake, and start with the safest option, walk the full road to the end of it, and then see what it is like.
As you choose 1 thing recognize that overtime, your soul will tell you whether this is the right move or not. And as that discomfort increases, that dissatisfaction increases, you'll know, that's your compass.
And then you'll move forward with a lot of energy.