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Sounds very familiar on the unhealthy INFP side, although I do wonder if a fear of judgement or criticism is 'innately INFP in nature' as something more easily projected onto others (in your experience).
I don't think that the INFPs are trying to be mean. I think, in their heads, that they are actually HELPING you by being harsh?

In other words, they are AWFUL at pointing out a flaw that needs to be worked on. They'd make terrible managers and leaders. I'm talking in generalizations, of course. Some INFPs would make GREAT leaders.
 

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I don't think that the INFPs are trying to be mean. I think, in their heads, that they are actually HELPING you by being harsh?

In other words, they are AWFUL at pointing out a flaw that needs to be worked on. They'd make terrible managers and leaders. I'm talking in generalizations, of course. Some INFPs would make GREAT leaders.
Some of this is quite true. Especially if they are really making things hard for themselves, it's kind of like a cruel to be kind approach, usually gentle at first and then patience wears thin, haha and then unfiltered criticisms come out(this is unhealthy though, depends on how severe the violations to values were) healthy INFP's are more moderate/understanding in their judgements. It's often the cross between being understanding/accepting to being authentic to values, trying to achieve that balance.

I didn't mean to sound so angry earlier guys and can handle small stereotypes but they wern't even stereotypes, barely relateable especially the controllingness, I hate the idea of controlling other people, it hurt a lot, that's all because none of it was true. :unsure: *sorry for the upset*
 

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It's been a while since I've been on PerC but life has driven me back here. I'm hoping some of you INFJs can give me some help. I was married for 12 miserable years to an INFJ. She was very controlling, uncompromising and over-sensitive to everything. She also was very sexually naïve and couldn't handle any sort of violent or tense entertainment, eg a PG film like Star Wars was off limits after 6 because she couldn't sleep afterwards.

I'm divorced now and have started communicating with an INFJ. I've noticed the typical chemistry is there, easy conversation, an intangible attraction, etc. I have a very strong instinct to be an aggressive pleaser in a relationship. I can feel it starting up again.

Having said that, as my title says, I'm scared to death of INFJs. If I had typed her earlier than I did I probably would have avoided her all together just because of the pain of my past experience.

I'm willing to be proven wrong but I'm very hesitant. Can you as a group give me some reasons why would be worth trying an INFJ relationship again.
Personality type letters and cognitive functions are just about our preferred way of perceiving and processing information, so it still doesn't tell much about what defines each of our individuality (taste, beliefs, principles and so on) or maturity level.

Your ex wife sounded immature/insecure and too sensitive. There are INFJs that are more mature, understanding, diplomatic and are able to handle darker stuffs or share your interests, or are less naive when it comes to intimacy and sex.
 

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Some of this is quite true. Especially if they are really making things hard for themselves, it's kind of like a cruel to be kind approach, usually gentle at first and then patience wears thin, haha and then unfiltered criticisms come out(this is unhealthy though, depends on how severe the violations to values were) healthy INFP's are more moderate/understanding in their judgements. It's often the cross between being understanding/accepting to being authentic to values, trying to achieve that balance.

I didn't mean to sound so angry earlier guys and can handle small stereotypes but they wern't even stereotypes, barely relateable especially the controllingness, I hate the idea of controlling other people, it hurt a lot, that's all because none of it was true. :unsure: *sorry for the upset*
This apology sounds so very INFP :p
 

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It's been a while since I've been on PerC but life has driven me back here. I'm hoping some of you INFJs can give me some help. I was married for 12 miserable years to an INFJ. She was very controlling, uncompromising and over-sensitive to everything. She also was very sexually naïve and couldn't handle any sort of violent or tense entertainment, eg a PG film like Star Wars was off limits after 6 because she couldn't sleep afterwards.

I'm divorced now and have started communicating with an INFJ. I've noticed the typical chemistry is there, easy conversation, an intangible attraction, etc. I have a very strong instinct to be an aggressive pleaser in a relationship. I can feel it starting up again.

Having said that, as my title says, I'm scared to death of INFJs. If I had typed her earlier than I did I probably would have avoided her all together just because of the pain of my past experience.

I'm willing to be proven wrong but I'm very hesitant. Can you as a group give me some reasons why would be worth trying an INFJ relationship again.
That sounds more like someone who had issues of the past, not really a personality trait. MBTI personalities are only used as guides to understand somebody, not really a template for someone. Generally experiences shape is differently. Controlling is weird though? Cause INFJs are usually laid back. I mean, I'd prefer to let someone else do the control unless I'm completely needed. I guess your wife had struggles, she didn't tell you much about.

For INFJs, its best you take your time knowing that person. You shouldn't use MBTI as guides for dating, maybe only to shed some light on some areas but get to know your person more instead.
 

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People. Like many of us.

What is interestingly impressive, is limitless infj.
 

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It sounds like you can't accept the whole package. INFJ are great but they are a whole package. Some of the things that make them wonderful also make them a bit difficult. But I'm the same way.. I mean we ALL are kind of that way, right? I know I'm a crazy bit*ch, strong willed with a temper sometimes, but I'm also passionate and loyal and strong. (I'm an ENFJ)

One of the big hurdles to overcome with being with an INFJ is how sensitive they are. If you date an INFJ you kind of have to expect this and accept them for who they are. They are worth it..so worth it. My significant other is INFJ and I will never find a man so loyal and considerate and smart and badass. He is IT for me. He is something special and I am willing to work through anything with him.

I put him in his place when I need to and he does the same to me lol. I love that man.
 
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