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I am an INFP, and I just got asked to a school dance by someone I know of but have never talked to before. I don't know who his friends are, but I'm pretty sure that I at least one of them knows me. After all why else would he have asked me? Being the INFP that I am, I don't want to say no because I'll feel really bad for rejecting him, but I don't want to say yes because I have some social anxiety and am uncomfortable talking to people I don't know. Small talk is the worst, and frankly so are school dances. My friends didn't really believe me when I said that I didn't care about going, because they thought that I was just trying to cover up the fact that I was hurt for not having been asked. But I really didn't care about going, rather I was already planning a nice Lord of the Rings marathon for that day, and was getting pretty dang excited about it. Now that I've been asked however, I feel really guilty saying no (why is it that I can tell other people that they just need to say no, but can't do it myself?), so I'm conflicted on what I should do.
Any thoughts? Should I figure out whose in his group and go with him? Or do I say no, and risk feeling guilty, but enjoy myself that day?
 

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Just tell him you don’t enjoy dances and prefer not to go. Add that you're interested in going out with him, and invite him to contact you in the future. An alternative is to tell him you already have plans that day. You are being honest and can avoid future dance invitations. You are not going to be at your personal best at a dance, and could leave him with a poor first impression. There is no point in putting yourself in a situation that is uncomfortable for you.
 

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If you don't want to go to the school dance then don't. You could still tell him you're interested in going out (if you are) but you'd rather do something else. Alternatively, you could say yes if he lets you bring a few friends with you in the group, if they have dates as well.
 

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I never went to any of my school dances. Primary school or high school. (Mainly because I didn't like the people etc, and it just wasn't my scene, and still isn't.) (I kind of regret not going to at least one of them though.) But if you really don't want to go, just be honest with him. Up to you anyway. If you get people calling you anti social for it, stand up for your self about it... Say there's different types of fun etc. I personally think the music at school dances would be shit anyway, half the reason I didn't go, would of had to listen to hip-hop crap all night probably lol.
 

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I can relate to this so much! In high school I also got asked to our school dance and I landed up saying yes to some random dude i didnt know all that well , cause apparenty I can't say no and reject people. Anyways moral of the story is.... it was horrible and I hated evevery moment of it. That school dance basically embodied all the things in life that I don't like, crowds, small talk, sokkie (which if you don't know Google it ), loud music and finally all those awkward photos your parents force you to take cause memories . If you have a choice rather stay at home and have a movie marathon with lots of snacks cause I can guarantee u if you don't like social events and small talk school dances aren't the place for you my friend. But if you landed up going I hope u adleast had a great time and made some fun new memories!
 
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