Searching for definition, wholeness, yourself

Another interesting thread that could only be devised by an INFJ. The world I’ve built consists of music and places that I find beautiful and inspiring, or that put me in touch with feelings I had when I was young. It includes my small scenic city, a mid century modern waterfront home, parks and cafes. A few years back I discovered Charleston, SC and now try to get there once a year. My wife and I don’t really do anything there but walk for miles and take in the vibe.

Sounds most like enneagram 461 sp/sx if any! I knew an ENFP of that style, and she was exactly this way - constantly looking for an intense love for things and experiences. She would get excited over anything deeply personal that would give her life meaning. It was a wondrously idealistic way of life to witness, almost with a naive quality.

I usually look for people, groups, identities, to give me meaning. I'm not so much about experiencing as I am about finding meaning in group dynamics, having a role to fulfill. I believe this is social instinct at play.

Nice of you to add 4. And this next post here too :redface-new:

I do the same and I had 4w3 when I was younger --now I relate more to 3w4 ~

Anyway personally I think it is about finding something meaningful in life, something important

And I also think it is about stability (which is also part of the Judging function, no?). I can have many hobbies and quickly feel rattled and lost. So it helps to really define what works for me, this world you both mention.
I even think of putting pictures on the wall to remind myself because I do forget... is that odd or what

When I was young I didn't do it as much as now. Back then it was about my 'style' as I was an art type. But now the topic permeates pretty much every category of my life.

I have this istj friend who always does the same things, and I kind of admire that. I don't think I could go as far as her but at least have my own version of this.

Yeah, I think it's 4ish for sure (or dom SP) and probably more common in all the heart types (2, 3 and 4). My brother's ex was a type 3 and she often seemed to define herself by the things she didn't like. I think it was out of some sort of insecurity in her case. But, she was also young and we generally grow more into ourselves the older we get.

As for me, I wouldn't say I look for things to define me. When I feel like something is missing or when I'm searching for something, it is usually for some sort of intense mental/emotional stimulation. Something that really makes me think or makes me feel alive when I start to feel dead on the inside. It's like I'm continually on some sort of quest or adventure (my dreams at night are often like this as well) where I'm seeking answers to the hidden or secret aspects of things and people. Mysteries and the mystical things in general interest me.

As an SX dom, I generally am more focused on my identiy in terms of my relationships with others. Or rather, what sides of ourselves do we bring out in each other for better or worse? How do we grow together? What have I discoverd about myself through these relationships/friendships and vise versa? What can we accomplish together as a team that we wouldn't be able to do as well alone? What is unique about our dynamic, our chemistry?

There are times I am not as in touch with myself and times when I feel like certain things get me more in touch with certain sides of myself. I would say I enjoy exploring different aspects of myself through different means whether that be an activity or listening to a song or creating something (writing etc.). It's often more of a fun side effect. Like when I'm watching a movie and I find that a fictional character unexpectedly gave me the confidence to cultivate certain qualities inside myself or gets me in tune with them just by seeing it expressed or made manfiest in this tangiable way. Getting in tune with yourself is important.

Certain songs and movies do tap me into another world but it's not so much an identity thing for me as it is me being on some sort of quest. I want answers. I want to learn and discover things. I want knowledge. These are the things I seek and I collect and gather it through reading and experiences. I also seek novelty. I'll often listen to the same song over and over again in an attempt to suck all the "juices" out of it (channeling the raw feelings and meanings out of it and what it's saying to me about people as a whole, different things I've been thinking about etc.) and then I'll be so bored of it, I'll never want to listen to it ever again and seek out something new to tap me into this mental space where I can reflect and come to new realizations and truths about things. Just something to inspire me. That's what I'm trying to say! lol So I do relate in the sense of tapping into a certain mental world. Certain things also fill me with wonder in a child-like way like Fantasy or Disney movies. Anyways, this all came out rather convoluted so hopefully it makes some sort of sense.

I'm looking forward to more of your threads. I always enjoy them and just you as a person

beautifully written snowflake

It will take a lifetime of searching to find what you are looking for

because

It is as near to you as your heart but you will never truly know it!

I think I relate to what you are saying and it sounds like that is how I use to be. Now I have given up most of my searching. I don't try to define myself anymore. Nor do I search for some grand purpose. I don't read much spiritually these days.

Now I try to do that which gives me pleasure. I do what I enjoy and not what I am supposed to do. If I feel like watching TV, I do it. I don't worry that others say TV watching isn't productive. I am happier now that I am not always searching or striving to be better.