This is going to be, at least partly, one of those "attempting to describe a feeling" sort of thing, so fingers crossed I will be at least somewhat clear!!
Life has been super crazy the last week with my final studio review on Monday, and the deadline for completing work tomorrow evening. It's the sort of thing where everyone is keeping track of what time the coffee shop closes so they can get some more caffeine as absolutely late as possible lol. Thankfully, my good time management has been coming in handy, and I actually get a little breather tonight! Just have to finish up my model and plot drawings tomorrow, and I like building models
. (It's funny though, I never need coffee in the evening--I get this second wind and feel I can just keep going and going, which of course is rather problematic when that's sleeping time).
But I digress. Anyway, with my little break tonight, I thought I'd stop briefly by here and do a little writing and share some thoughts. So:
Do you feel as though you are often searching for things to "define" you? Perhaps some more of my self-obsorbed, half-awake rambling might clarify...
I've always felt like I'm searching for something. And it isn't just the following, but I've been realizing that this is a big part of it, I think. I long to find those rare wonderful things which I can just so utterly adore, those things that make that saying "love is blind" seem very real. Things I want to become absorbed in, that I want to shape my mental world. Things I can't really imagine my life without, or "me" without. Things I love so much I just want to give myself over to, I want them to be my world more than just my own mind.
I've found these things on various scales, in various categories. For example, music is certainly one of those things, but so are a few certain pieces in particular. Activities have also given me this feeling. Symphony going is probably the most significant of those--besides just completely loving the experience of performances so very much, there is just everything about it: the elegance, the evening out, the feeling of being there, . . .you get the idea. Somehow that becomes a "world," and it just feels so right, so much "my" world, as though I've found a part of myself that exists with that experience.
And smaller sorts of things, or rather non-event sorts of things, say Mozart's Prague symphony, that resonate so strongly with me also have some similar feelings. They are rare overall, but so important, and fairly diverse. Until now, I've never felt this way about another person before, but that's another example.
Thoughts? Does this resonate with you? Something similar or different? MBTI? Perhaps an Ni correlation, seeking to find the most wholly, deeply resonant and true to self and loved? Enneagram? I'd guess it's 4ish if anything, but thoughts?Anything you want to write and share and discuss, do go ahead!! Looking forward to spending a little more time here over the holidays