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Discussion Starter #1
So, I always meet the COOLEST women online, like the rare ones that are totally normal and awesome and have a lot in common with me and are pretty. In the last.........6 months I've had 2-3 "relationships" (loosely used here) with people I've met online. 2 of those people I ended up meeting irl and liking them but since I have so much in common with both of them all of us suck at long distance and decided not to commit to anything.


point being

I WANT to be in a relationship, and with someone who is as cool as the last 3-5 women I've met online but I somehow SUCK at coming across as the good relationship type with girls I meet in person first. Most of them dismiss me as either a player or someone who isn't serious or they just don't like me at all.

For instance, there is this really awesome girl I met in class, got her number we've hung out a few times, she seems to "like" me but she's maybe 5/10 interested and I'm having a good bit of trouble getting past that point. That's generally how it goes with girls at school. It's getting kind of ridiculous I'm good relationship material and I'm actually in a good place to start one.

idk, any advice would be fantastic I'm trying to gain some insight as to why I come off much better online than I do in person.

yes - in all three online cases we skyped frequently, I'm positive it has nothing to do with my looks.

tia!
 

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you need more practice in person. get off the internet. its a big place so half the girls you want will live 500 miles away. youre teasing yourself. meet girls in person, if they don't seem interested move on, its a waste of energy to try and conform somebody. ive found most girls know if they want anything more than a friendship within the first 5 min of really meeting you.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
you need more practice in person. get off the internet. its a big place so half the girls you want will live 500 miles away. youre teasing yourself. meet girls in person, if they don't seem interested move on, its a waste of energy to try and conform somebody. ive found most girls know if they want anything more than a friendship within the first 5 min of really meeting you.
Good advice, except I'm not a shut in at all, I meet lots of girls like every day...not even kidding, I'm very active I play a college sport and I'm an officer for a certain organization. It's not like I don't meet 10 attractive girls a day, I just don't make over the proverbial "hump" with any of them.


I'm tired of one night stands/just trying to hook up.
 

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What do you think it is about you online that is different?

Are you more eloquently spoken online? Or is it that you are meeting these people in places where those with similar interests would tend to congregate? Or is it just that you don't know each other very well in person, hence in these 'relationships' you are putting each other on a pedestal?

If you can clarify that a bit maybe I can give a female perspective.
 
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Good advice, except I'm not a shut in at all, I meet lots of girls like every day...not even kidding, I'm very active I play a college sport and I'm an officer for a certain organization. It's not like I don't meet 10 attractive girls a day, I just don't make over the proverbial "hump" with any of them.


I'm tired of one night stands/just trying to hook up.
I wasn't assuming you are a shut in. I'm sure you're out and about, but the bottom line is that when you are out in about its not working correct? Online, it works, offline it doesn't. So practice offline. Doesn't make you a shut in to need that. I agree with BlackDog, we require more information about the differences between the two. Words are words, in person its more action oriented. How do you hold yourself? does your breath smell bad ;)?

Don't take offense to anything I may say, its all with a kind smile.
 

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The female perspective can answer better than I ever could, but yes, the way you're projecting yourself definitely has something to do with it.

Your outward projection is rejecting them. It's like a contradicting angle they see that's pushing them away. It could be body language (which is really big believe it or not) that is functioning as a deterrent, which of course, can't be viewed so much online. (Webcamming helps with this, but it's still different than hanging out with them in real life.)

Either way, with relationships, especially ones you want to last, you have to start slow, even before the dating begins. If she's not feeling you so much now, she may feel more into you as you two hang out more and she is exposed to what you have on the inside.
 

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Hey Penguin, do you have any offline female friends who you could talk to about this? That would probably be way more effective than this given what the issue seems to be
 

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Most of them dismiss me as either a player or someone who isn't serious or they just don't like me at all.
Can't fix the third one, but if you're coming across as a player/not serious... then don't act that way. Be serious. Do those little check-ins that people in relationships do. Share serious thoughts. I can't be too specific since you didn't give a lot of details, but if you want it to be a relationship, treat it as a relationship.
 
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