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What do you feel about that? How does it manifest in you?

When you listen to or know someone else and try to see their perspective, feel what they feel, understand where they are coming from, what is the mood in your brain like? Do you feel like you "have to" do that sometimes, or is it a natural, positive thing for you? Are you good at it or bad at it?

I'd appreciate any answers on this from the INFP perspective.
 

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I know that I can't feel what they feel especially if I have never experienced it myself but
I try to sympathize with them. I can only say "I know how you feel" when I experienced the same thing
as them.

Do I feel like I have to see things in their perspective? Although not compulsory, I think it's a good way
to try to understand why people act in certain ways. It makes me a more understanding person.
 

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Tbh, sometimes I feel like I 'have' to do that. It's partially because I don't think I'll really understand what they are saying or where they are coming from otherwise.

It also happens quite enjoyably and naturally sometimes as well--I think everyone experiences this when they read a good autobiography or whatever. Or when they just fall into a story someone is telling about something interesting to them (the other person).

I feel that it's a sort of understanding and knowledge that you cannot really get from pure logic (or logical fallacies). I think of this because a lot of times when I hear debates about identity politics it gets back to some people who are open to listening to people different from them (identity wise--not meaning automatically agreeing with them) and acknowledging or trying to understand that shared humanity and ponder how they might experience the world vastly differently than another...but then some sort of nail it down to treating people like objects that all react the same, and generally project their own experiences onto others without seeking to understand and listen to them.

So...that was a little political and it didn't really capture what I wanted to express. I suppose it just seems to me that 'empathy' is a way of taking in information and understanding that is very distinct--because it requires that mental exercise you described. And I think it yields a lot of information that can be inaccessible without it.

So I kind of try to do it--especially when trying to understand all sides of a situation. But I also enjoy doing it as well. And I also consciously and unconsciously block myself from empathizing at times.

I don't believe in the empathy as 'feeling what other people feel' in the literal sense, which has been talked about regarding the feeling functions--like 'absorbing feeling vs. mirroring'. It's impossible because we have our distinct identities and subjective experiences, and that's what allows us to feel in the first place. So I tend to think of it as some kind of mental exercise that always yields 'imperfect' results.

Am I good at it or bad at it? I can be good at it at times and also bad at it. I think I can judge some character okay and sometimes project what someone will do based on what I judge to be their motivations. But then again, I can also be seen as naive because a lot of times I reject really rigid labels and want to give people the opportunity to defy even my own.
 

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I don't think I am able to view the world through another's eyes. I do not share their DNA make-up/temperament, their experiences, their state of mental health, their cultural influences, their MBTI, their educational background, what they know, what they don't know, their traumas and history. Even if I am sitting in front of another INFP, we can still be like night and day. Fire and ice. Sun and rain. Hot and cold. We share one result, from one test, but the strength of preferences can be all over the place.

I have always said there are billions of different "worlds" going on Earth, because everyone is viewing it different, behind their own eyes.

If someone is sitting in front of me, and they are happy/sad/depressed/angry/excited -- their emotions will, at times, have a physiological response on me. Butterflies in my stomach, increased heart rate, adrenaline rush, tears, laughter... but it is difficult for me to completely climb into their skin and totally become them.

I do try very hard, to not hurt their feelings, to *try* and understand what they are saying, to not make fun, to give them the respect they deserve. I try to listen and give them some time. I try not to *drift* and space out, which I can do if I'm under too much stress from external stimuli. But I think, ultimately, I am always viewing their world, through my mind/eyes, my experiences, my culture, cog. functions... whatever makes me -- me.
 

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I never feel like I have to do it, it's something I enjoy. I love exploring what life would be like if I was another person. It comes out in my love of 3rd person video games and emotional movies as well, experiencing what life would be like through someone else, I just love the exploration of it and understanding others so I can better treat them in the way they would feel good being treated. I've been told I have been good at it sometimes and other times it seemed like I assumed too much, also if I'm too accurate at it, it can be uncomfortable for others because they think I'm all in their business LOL. But it's fun to see the world through new eyes. The mood in my brain is intrigue, very intrigued by someone elses's unique perspective, because they might see things in a way I never thought of and that's always intriguing to me, as long as it isn't something I strongly disagree with of course lol.
 

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I think it depends on the person. Comes easily to me though since I am pretty curious about people.

Sometimes I can't even help myself. I like to put myself in their life, in their shoes. Attachment comes far too easily and often trouble comes when I should stop caring and can't. It is quite easy to speed it up too these days with Twitter, Facebook, blogs, online videos, etc., and you can really delve into who someone is and what they are doing 24/7. Of course, not just by what they say or write, but how they say or write it. It gives a nice baseline to jump off of with new people.

Anyway, I am probably more interested in researching people and how they think/feel than most people I know.
 
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Uuufff literally this topic is so vast :O My Ne is going insane r.n. and I could write a dissertation about this whole thing xD I'll try to keep it brief for everyone's sanity -but I will have to omit a lot of points- sigh.

It's vast because there are sooooo many contexts in which this "putting others' shoes on" happens. I speak of shoes instead of eyes because I agree with everyone who said we can never actually see life through someone else's brain.

What do you feel about that?
I don't get a chance to feel anything about it because putting on someone else's shoes happens automatically, unconsiously.
It's like when you sit on a bycicle, you have the unconscious impulse to hit the pedal, you can't just sit still, if you try you just start fidgetting. When you're sitting there, you have to hit it, something beyond your own mental control makes you do it.
Since the question is forcing me to think about it consciously, I feel... sometimes blessed that I'm able to do this, so I can get a deeper exploration and understanding of the world/humans... but sometimes burdened. Because I do it even when I don't want to. Sometimes I'm too exhausted to be empathetic and imaginative in that way, and it would be best for my emotional health at that point to put up a wall against the person and not try to understand anything, just go be selfish for a bit, and yet the subconscious will make me hit the pedal and exhaust myself emotionally even more.

How does it manifest in you?
Outwardly? I ask them questions regarding the things I saw in my "visions", without telling the person explicitly why I'm asking these things. I do it in a sneaky way, sounding casual. I want the answers in order to see if their own self-image and self-understanding matches the narrative/conclusions of my own download. I will compare notes in my head, check if the person is contradicting themselves and check if I see any cognitive dissonance or something strange... after I gather all the data, I form a picture of the person's psyche, and of how they might perceive the world. Might. I never think in a Black & White I-know..you way, because knowing someone else's psyche is an impossibility.

When you listen to or know someone else and try to see their perspective, feel what they feel, understand where they are coming from, what is the mood in your brain like?
There's an underlying mood and then the emotions on top of the mood. So the mood is like a constant subterranean vibration, and it's a rush of wanting to know the world. The experience of having curiosity for a human is the same as the rush I get from reading wikipedia pages and watching documentaries about marvelous things I never knew. On the top/surface there are the emotions that are directly related to the story I'm hearing. So if the person is very happy, my emotions are happy, if they're sad, I'm sad, etc. But underneath the sad, I feel subterranean awe because I'm witnessing a human.

Do you feel like you "have to" do that sometimes, or is it a natural, positive thing for you?
I don't have to, I can't escape it. Which is why I get into so much trouble always giving evil people the benefit of the doubt, always thinking "Oh but they suffered so much in their childhood, no wonder they're evil". I have to keep myself in constant check with people and stop empathizing and excusing their shitty behavior.

Are you good at it or bad at it?
Good, apparently. I am that friend and that girlfriend who is always two months ahead and knows the other person's pshychological problem and how it's manifesting in their reality before the other person does. When I share my insight, they're like "ppfftt shut up, what's happening has nothing to do with that thing in my psyche". Two months later the person informs me "That whole insight you told me... yeah.. that was accurate".
This is very exhausting because I have to constantly witness the people I care about hurting their lives and themselves really badly, and going to rock bottom, because they never listen to me. I get so emotionally exhausted empathizing all the time that I just get numb and by the time the person has hit rock bottom and comes to me for comfort, I've run out of empathy and I'm a cold emotionless b*** and I don't even care. I can't care because I exhausted everything I had.


The whole purpose of this is not primarily to know myself better (this would be a secondary purpose), it's to 1.Understand the other person deeply, thus know their authentic self, so that I can 2.Categorize the person in one of two boxes "I relate to you" or "I don't relate to you".

I really really really really really really enjoy getting to know people. And the deepest I can go into their minds the more fulfilled I feel. In those situations where you're lying down with a person and they're telling you their whole life story, secrets and all, and I'm feeling everything as if I experienced it all myself... I'm like holy fucking wow a human. I really really really want to know them, just like reading wikipedia or watching NASA videos.

If instead of someone I know in person we're talking about people I don't care about, like watching people's life stories on youtube, or reading posts on PerC, or watching a film... it's a different experience. I imagine/empathize/explore and don't have to invest myself that much. And if they hit rock bottom it's not really my problem, if u know what I mean. But I still want to know eeeeeverything.
 
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What do you feel about that? How does it manifest in you?

When you listen to or know someone else and try to see their perspective, feel what they feel, understand where they are coming from, what is the mood in your brain like? Do you feel like you "have to" do that sometimes, or is it a natural, positive thing for you? Are you good at it or bad at it?

I'd appreciate any answers on this from the INFP perspective.
Good question! Because i also don't know the answer

For me it seems like it comes naturally especially when i have a personal experience on the matter. For example when i hear or watch the death of someone close or relevant to others (grandparents or mothers) i can feel the pain. I don't sympathize but it seems i mirror them automatically. I don't want to appear weak or vulnerable so i try to control my emotions and hold back the tears. I try to act tough or get mad by thinking about something else so i can hold back my emotions.

When im alone watching movies for example though i usually let my emotionally flow except when i have other things in my mind bothering me.

I don't know if it's positive because to be honest sometimes i feel so tired feeling or dealing with my emotions. Sometimes i just don't want to care. Sometimes i want to feel numb. People close to me always wonder why i am so affected by movies im watching when they are fictions and not real. That's why i am no longer watching movies with strong emotions like hachiko (i have very very soft spot with animals), love stories, etc because i dont want to look cheesy and cry.

As for dealing with other people's pain i usually hold back my feelings and reactions. However when it's 1:1 it's kinda different because i can intimately talk to the person. But as much as possible I don't want to cry.

I hope i answered your questions


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