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I am a ENFP female and I feelings for a INTP male. We have been good friends for a year and half now, we get along well, and we are always playfully bickering. We are in the same friend group but we are the closest out of everyone. We attend the same university so we used to hang out almost everyday whether it be with a group if friends or alone,chilling watching a TV show/movie he liked, listening to music, going out to different places, or to get food somewhere. I've liked him for almost a year now, but I could not tell whether or not he liked me back. I would always act neutral with him as I wouldn't obviously flirt with him just so he wouldn't think "wtf is she doing?" or something. We pretty much talk like best friends (talking about girls or guys we thought were attractive, stuff happening to us, or just random things). Last year I had a feeling he liked me but I was never sure as he is not the type to make the first move and I feel like I could just be mistaking it with him just being comfortable with a good friend.

If he did have any type of mutual feelings, I may have ruined it as I started dating a guy that asked me out. My boyfriend didn't like that we texted a lot, and that he called me a lot so me and the INTP didn't talk as much as we once had. Though now that we are back on campus we still hang out a lot, but sometimes he would say stuff like "How would your boyfriend feel if he knew you were hanging with me?" Also every time my boyfriend would come up in conversation the INTP would be quick to bash him with everything he'd done wrong to me, but again I could be mistaking that for the actions of a good friend. Recently I broke up with the guy and my feelings for the INTP are still there but now he's messing(NOT DATING) with some girl his friend blindly set him up with. I've been wanting to confess but I think it might be selfish as he just started messing with this girl, and I might just make everything awkward and lose one of my best friends. Should I confess my feelings or just leave everything alone and just accept we might just be friends?
 

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Wow, this is pretty complex and interestin... and super sexy like a good rom-com actually. The timing stuff! I bet he does or did like you...sounds like it. You know him well enough that I think you know what it would be like to be his girlfriend. I think you are sure you want him? I have a good ENFP friend who is married to a brilliant and caring (caring in a INTP way-- like he is a good solid husband who gets her needs taken care of) INTP and they have a happy life together. She is very happy with him and raves about him. So the timing....I know I would be nervous about him possibly dating someone else. With your close friendship you mean way more to him than someone new. How to bring it up? You can best think of it, but my thought is, "Have you ever thought what it would be like if we were dating?" Make it hypothetical? Guys will get it, then go off of what he says?
 
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Reactions: Falling Foxes

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He's not serious with this girl and like Alesha said you have the home advantage. If you don't mention anything now because of this other girl imagine what it's going to be like if you don't resolve these feelings and your INTP suddenly gets serious with someone? Your situation still sounds like ideal timing.

It's up to you if you decide to do it. You have to be willing to take the risk of changing your relationship forever. What's worse? Living in denial, staying close to him or potentially losing him as a close friend for the chance of gaining him as a boyfriend?
 
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I'd say it's like maybe a straight 50:50, depends on the guy.

My read on this is that he has some latent attraction for you, but he's never consciously considered you as an option before.. Honestly, different guys react differently in that situation- personally I've always tended toward friendzoning after a certain period of time (I've had feelings for friends where I just wouldn't think about dating them- Id feel things like jealousy, but the feelings werent strong enough).

Like I say, he's never consciously considered you an option, he may have had passing thoughts but you've never been "active" on his radar so to speak.. So all you can do is put the option on the table and see if you DO become active on his radar. I know one thing- he will wrestle with the idea, but the outcoming decision? I cant honestly say.
 
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