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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Dear fellow INFJs, and other types,

It's not common for me to seek help but desperate times call for desperate measures I suppose. And what can be better than a forum full of INFJs? (rhetorical question).

I graduated from my business school and started a job in financial controlling a few months ago, without any prior experience in that field. At the beginning, everything went well since I was trained and had time to do other things on the side.

Once the training over, that is to say after just one month, I was left alone on the position. And then the hell began.

I have very tight schedules to submit reportings, I spend 14 hours a day at my job trying to figure out accounting stuff, I'm overflowded by details and numbers, I receive emails saying that I'm doing a bad job.... A month and a half ago, so 6 weeks after I was left alone, I decided to resign. Before that I sought help from the headquarters (I'm in a subsidiary in a European Eastern Country) which, to this day, haven’t done anything. Considering the difficulty to find someone to replace me (language, visa difficulties...) I agreed to stay 3 more months on the job (2 months left).

The thing is I still have to deliver a big amount of work and without the proper set of skills. I just wanna say f*** to everybody but it's not the way I work (INFJs as a matter of fact). This situation has taken a huge toll on my mental and body health and let's not talk about ego now.

If anybody has a piece of advice for me, or has lived a similar situation, I'd be glad to hear it.

Thank you in advance

PS: I am not native so I apologize for the mistakes I probably did make
 

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I can't tell you what the right move in your own life is. All I know is that life is too short to go any length of time being that stressed out and unhappy if you can help it. There will come moments that we must endure troubled times. However, in my experience, if I have any control, I do my best to not to stay in prolonged unhappiness. I hope you find a way to get where you aren't stressed or unhappy. No paycheck or commitment is big enough to sacrifice your happiness and wellbeing.
 

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From an ENFP perspective, the thing that I would take from this are the new possibilities that open up now if you choose to learn this "lesson" and take it with you. You basically have learnt this about yourself, and now you can make better choices to find a more fulfilling career.

You still have a business degree, which is valuable in a huge variety of sectors, if not basically everywhere in some shape or form. Be more analytical of where your skills lie next time- bravery and determination against challenges is a great quality, but you still want to pick something where you foresee yourself being able to use your more comfortable and aligned skill-sets.
 

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If I were in your situation, I would just quit. I understand that you might need a letter of recommendation from your manager/supervisor though.. like @INForJoking said, you're the only one that can make this decision. I believe in only staying in environments that keep me feeling balanced and happy, unless they can lead to growth. So I'd say examine your situation and take note of if there's anything you could still learn from being in this position or if there's a way that you can keep yourself balanced and happy while in the position and if neither of those are true, then maybe consider leaving.
 

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@UhtcearuExperience

Ok, listen up and listen carefully. I am going to deliver these in several stages in that you will not only need now, but going forward. I also need you to trust me on this because I feel your sense of urgency and hope this makes it to you well. Remember though, everything is relative because everything falls in line as the world is one big complicated pattern. Just follow the system and you will understand when it is all said and done.

1#- You have to take control of your emotions. I will not tell you to stop panicking but you are going to need to gain a bit more composure. Recollect yourself.

#2- For the next 2 months, you will have to endure the pain. You have committed to their request so it is in your best interest overall to keep your word. You are not in any serious danger of life. If as you stated is correct, you are merely bombarded by the challenges of your work environment. You are merely overwhelmed. However, you must maintain some type of practical outlook on things. Time will pass but for now, you have no choice but to play it out for the next 2 months. Therefore, it is much more so about you learning how to properly manage your time and emotions, rather than running away. We INFJ or not, we can’t keep running away from life.

#3- One of the issues many INFJs have is their inabilities to push through hard times. All throughout the internet, INFJs practically gloat over them being isolated, shy, quiet, and complex. But yet, we are supposed to be the protectors. There is a time for isolation but then there is a time to be productive and push through.

#4- This type of pushing through and being exposed to harsh environments is what we need. It allows for a second layer to develop a thicker skin. The more exposure, the more relaxed in hectic environments you will be.

#5- It doesn’t matter what you say- you MUST do the following: Ask for help. Communicate to your peers and veterans that you need assistance. One of our issues is to ask for help for fear of others ridiculing us. But in this case, find the people you think are most approachable and ask them.

#6- You will have to find an outlet in order to remove yourself from this stress. Find a hobby, seek new friends, and get outside of your house. Shake it off. It’s not going anywhere so you must push through it.

#7- The irony of it all is that this will end up being a sweet nothing experience. You will find that you may end up missing this type of environment and you will learn a lot more. But you need to be a in less intense environment in order to keep your sanity. So while you are there, start looking for work now. Start asking around and getting contacts around you.

#8- You are not alone. You are not the first and you certainly won’t be the last. The more you go through this, the easier it will be the next time around. This is actually a great thing for you. I guarantee that you will learn so much from this experience and might find yourself thinking about going back- that is strangest part of it all.
 

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I work as a financial analyst, so I understand exactly what you're describing.

I quit my first job out of college because I just hated it. No direction, no instruction and I was flown all over the country on my own to perform financial audits. I lasted 3 months. That was about 6 years ago.

I took a detour after the job experience and just explored life for a couple years. Studied mathematics for pleasure, learned about myself, had new experiences, etc. Then, financial necessity kicked in and took a job as a financial analyst, Once again I felt the same overwhelming pressure.

I spent 12+ hour days doing work, again, and had tighter deadlines. Overworked, underpaid, etc. But, I knew I had no choice so I just kept working. The stress really effected my mental and physical states. I wasn't happy but it didn't matter anymore - suddenly, it was important. I needed the job.

If you can just find strength to persevere, you'll make it through. I learned that I wasn't really naturally designed for this kind of work, but if I kept doing it I would become more and more proficient at it in time. And in time, my life would regain the balance I was looking for. It's just growing pains of a tough career but it pays off. I've been promoted and consistently one of the top performing, technically well rounded members on the team.

In short, it's okay to fail but don't give up.
 

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Discussion Starter #7 (Edited)
Hello Everyone,

First of all I wanted to thank you all for your pieces of advice, it was really motivating and nurturing.

@INForJoking and misslovegood I do agree with you on the fact that I'm not in a balanced environment right now and, in no way, I can picture myself growing in this position so I'd better walk away than living this unhealthy life of mine. But as halfamazing said keeping his word is important. I may not be the best at what I do but at least l'm acting as a responsible and professional person, so I'll stay till the end, no matter what. The job is actually getting worse but the perspective of me being done with the job in less than 2 months is enough to keep me pushing through these hard times.

@halfamazing the emotions sometimes take over and I was probably overwhelmed when I wrote the first message so thanks for putting things in perspective. Now, I'm more sedated by my job, not sure it's the second skin you talked about though.

A stressing environment is not what I'm naturally looking for but the problem here is the fact that nobody can help me, even though I sought help on numerous occasions, nobody seems to really care and thus learning something from this situation seems difficult. When it comes to finding an outlet, it's actually pretty hard considering the time spent at work. I even work during weekends and really late during the week, but once again the end is not that far.

@Black Rabbit I really liked your post. I can see a lot of myself in you when you were a little bit younger. Right after my job I'm gonna take a small break, not as long as yours though, to do things which I find interesting and to think about my future in a more peaceful environment.
I think I can't learn anything from this position, in this work environment to be more accurate, but I'm not shutting doors for different financial positions in a foreseeable future. The same financial needs you experienced will, for sure, kick in within a few months for me as well.

@Tridentus what you said also found an echo in me. Next time, I'll pick my own battles more carefully and I still have a good degree which I can use to do something more in adequacy with my needs.

The good news though, because there's always a glimpse of light even in the darkness, is that a replacement has been found and is probably coming here next week. Not sure if he's gonna help but at least I won't be alone.
And in the end, my life could be worse. I could be a child gold miner in Tanzania for what I know.

So many thanks to all of you once again.
 
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