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One of my best friends is INFP, another is ESTJ. They seem to think the opposite on every issue (though they hardly know each other). Do you think these types would conflict as much as just about any other pairing?
 

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I won't get tired of saying these: it depends on how is the INFP and how is the ESTJ, and in what phase of life is each other.

Some people will say that are perfect partners, other will say they have a lot of conflicts.

And another anotation: different people can bring unexpected perspectives.
 

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ESTJs can come off as abrasive.
INFPs as passive aggressive.

Their inferior and dominant functions in comparison to one another are swapped.
So how one is best attuned to perceiving things is the weaker point of the other.

I don't think the two necessarily always involve conflict and could very well at least have a respect for one another regardless of their approach to the world around them assuming that the INFP doesn't get hurt too easily and the ESTJ has enough tact to not stomp all over them with their words.
More often than not I think people are likely to lead to poorer outcomes due to poor self awareness and personal development where they are too inside their own view to know how to communicate effectively with another individual who's process is quite different.
 

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It's the bulldozing over others that angers me, respect is big value and so they trample on it guilt free if they are self unaware. However, I do kinda appreciate their organizational approach but it's not a natural state for me and it takes a little time to adjust to the Te/Fi differences. Here's an analogy in that I felt like it was having a bucket of freezing cold water thrown in my face when knowing an ESTJ, a shock to the system if you like, im not going to pretend because that's what experiences have been. So in a way im never quite certain around these types, it's like having to keep a stiff upper lip much of the time. However, when things are in the shit, they tell the truth and will take it into their own to turn things around and sort it out which by god, we all need in muddled situations. But I generally stay low from the line of fire. These are based on my limited interactions with ESTJ's, I reckon my stepmum was one, a brilliant organizer, keeping things up to standard, great caretaker of the family unit and keeping a consistent system going but so negligent of how people were experiencing it, her Fi was prone to flip out at times though under stress and all woe is me because 'im' trying to keep this family together and running but she created her own self fulfilling prophecy where she would feel let down by others efforts and then the Fi would leak out etc. This is my biased ESTJ experience though :laughing:
 

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Yeah it's always seemed like a fairly incompatible group to me. In general, of course, because it depends on the individuals involved.
 

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One of my best friends is INFP, another is ESTJ. They seem to think the opposite on every issue (though they hardly know each other). Do you think these types would conflict as much as just about any other pairing?
My INFP friend is dating an ESTJ and they are very happy together. They are both in their early 20s.

It depends a whole lot on the enneagram types of respective INFP and ESTJ. Some type combinations are more prone to conflicts than others, like 1s and 8s for example. If you have ESTJ 8, which is common among male ESTJs, and INFP 1 then there's bound to be friction between them.
 

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My INFP friend is dating an ESTJ and they are very happy together. They are both in their early 20s.

It depends a whole lot on the enneagram types of respective INFP and ESTJ. Some type combinations are more prone to conflicts than others, like 1s and 8s for example. If you have ESTJ 8, which is common among male ESTJs, and INFP 1 then there's bound to be friction between them.
Yeah this might have more to do with it. 1, 4, 6 I imagine might have more issues in the kind of passive(laidback than doormat)/dominant relationship. 1's because they may disaprove of the ESTJ's(insert E type) methods and criticize those moreso, 6's have issues with those attempting authority over them making them more reactive and sensitive to power imbalances, 4's might be affected by having their authentic selves threatened aswell. Still, I think it's being underplayed the differences in priorities between this pair. I don't know the ESTJ/INFP couple that you know, I doubt everything is smooth sailing and they would know more about that themselves behind closed doors. With maturity and openess to explore, it would work well enough for something more longterm. Maybe the pair are lucky to share many of the same values.
 

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One of my best friends is INFP, another is ESTJ. They seem to think the opposite on every issue (though they hardly know each other). Do you think these types would conflict as much as just about any other pairing?
I'd say it depends on how mature and open they are to each other. I would imagine that it would take more work with this combination - but I guess all pairings have their goods and bads if you can overcome the challenges.
For instance I've known two ESTx's, the one being very manipulative and aggressive and the other actually willing and interested in understanding me. The former now out of my life, and the latter being one of my closest friends.
 

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One of my best friends is INFP, another is ESTJ. They seem to think the opposite on every issue (though they hardly know each other). Do you think these types would conflict as much as just about any other pairing?
To be honest, a lot of people conflicts in real life. Whether they bring it out in the public level or not is down to maturity. Not everybody will understand one another all of the time, and their intentions and their motives sometimes differ. Bringing people together to the same goal and purpose and therefore to have harmony is down to the individual themselves to see if they wish to be so. Being someone that you are not is actually quite hard. It really depends on their relationship and for what reason they want to be friends etc.

If they respect each others' differences and workaround that, then they may become great friends. Especially if they support one anothers' strength etc.

ESTJ - morality, think about safety, think about scheduling, timing of things, uses history to predict the future
INFP - morale, upbeatness, fun, keep optimism going, praise for good work, plan for the future, future-proofing


My brother and my mother is an ESTJ. In a way, they can get away with more because they are family, and I remember telling my mother not to "brag" or to talk too much publically cos she offend others without realising that it is not her boundary to say or to do. Her focus is on everybody, my focus is on my own immediate families only. This is whereby that INFP respect others for their differences come into play and she doesn't get it. But now that she is older and realises that people are different, she tries to be more diplomatic etc. With introvertedness, and with INFPs, if we can laugh at ourselves sometimes, then this does alleviate some of the discrepencies in our communication sometimes.
 

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Conflicts are mostly a matter of choice, it's a decision of whether or not you choose to listen to or are rejecting the merits of a differing view. After all why would they be holding their view if they didn't believe there is good reason for their view.

While it's true that the other person may not be choosing to listen to your point of view, you can still be choosing to listen to them and translating your own view into something that their narrowed understanding will be able to understand.

I'm curious, how did you manage to get what the INFP thinks? (Admittedly I'm projecting here...) But I rarely share what I think, even with friends, and when I do share something it's often someone else's point of view... it could be contextually representative of my view, but it's not always the case.
 
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