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I have a huge "problem" with selective hearing. It causes issues in school mostly. Someone will say "don't go to the courtyard" and to me I'll hear "go to the courtyard" because I probably want to see what all the hubub is about.

I knew a girl who would get really mad at me because she would talk, and I would understand her point 3 words into what she was saying and then I'd answer her question while she was talking, and she would always complain that I wasn't listening.

But lots of people get mad at me because of my selective hearing, generally hearing only what I want to. Someone tells me to go to the store and buy bleach, I'll hear "go to the store and buy candy".

Does anyone else relate?
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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I may or may not have had this particular problem in the past. My family says that I only hear or do what I want, but they are falsehoods! I am the picture of perfection in every respect. :proud:

Ah...just kidding. My problem is not so much the "selective" hearing; I just tune people out after a while, a lot of the times involuntarily. Someone will be telling me something, and I'll zone out, not realizing it until I've noticed that I missed the first half of their sentence.
 

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I have the "tuning out" too. If somebody is talking too long (whatever feels too long for me, can be also just 10 minutes) or repeating something, I will block the sound out (not on purpose). Or sometimes I feel the words flying into my ears but already leaving the head without leaving an imprint.
 

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I don't hear things wrong but I often don't listen properly.

Some people just talk-talk-talk about so many seemingly irrelevant details which I won't even remember as I'm only interested in the point or underlying meaning of their words. Once I think I've grasped their meaning or if I think they are talking about nothing or if they are repeating themselves and saying nothing new to me, I start thinking about other things or want to stop listening. I do that when reading things too...

Like this ISTJ person told me a long story full of details which could have easily be summed up in a few words by: I saw people littering and they are why you see litter on the ground. OMG I don't need to know the details if it's something that uninteresting. Relevance people!
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Ha, yeah our Ti goes bonkers. I think what happens quite often is that my Se catches something they said that intrigues me, and I stop listening and start analyzing whatever interesting point the unintentially brought up. For example:

girl: yeah so I found this car parked in a junk yard, it was blue, it was old. I walked up and touched it, and then I looked at it, and then I sniffed it, and I saw a pigeon, oh I also saw a...
me (thinking): I've never been to a junk yard before, hmm, what if I built a car out of junk. that would be sick, sorta like that show junkyard wars. Maybe I should join in on that. what if I...
girl: and I saw a dog licking itself, then I saw a leaf, then I saw a
me: *my eyes sink down to her breast level unintentionally while thinking about building a car out of junk*
girl: *stops talking and gives the death stare*
 

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It's a bit like interrupting people with your own thoughts except the thoughts aren't verbalised.

Maybe it's bypassing Se and jumping to Ni. So how to both stay in the moment taking things in, and consider what the other person is saying?

Maybe
a) take out some paper and make notes about what people are saying: I assume this would make you look really weird though and annoy people so would probably only work during classes while listening to a teacher.

b) interrupt every 10 seconds with a question about what they are saying: could be annoying but probably less so than not listening.
 
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It's a bit like interrupting people with your own thoughts except the thoughts aren't verbalised.
You know, it does feel like my Ti is intruding on the conversation. I like how you worded that. :proud:
 

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Me too. I've had moments where I just completely lose what someone is saying to me and then their face shows that they've realized it, too...probably by the out-to-lunch look in my eyes. I've had to work really hard at not doing that with music, where I'll start troubleshooting some problem I've having that might not even be musically related. For that and conversations alike, I find something to focus on that keeps me in the moment instead of retreating into my head.
 
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