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...So I found this video:


and started to ask myself if that's possible for INFPs to be THAT confident. On the other hand, some of the poses and ways of behaving the girl has shown look to me like typical... not for those who are confident but for those who are overconfident or just fake their confidence and exaggerate with this. Or maybe I just can't tell the difference between confidence and assertiveness. '-' To be honest, I can imagine myself being confident with who I am, having this inner peace, but I didn't manage to be like that so far to the extent I wanted. Maybe it's also connected with enneagram types more than with MBTI personalities? What's your opinion?
 

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It's possible to be confident in your unconfidence.

Example. I have a very low threshold for trembling. My hands shake easily and it's not really predictable when they'll start. I don't let it stop me from doing anything even though shaking is thought to be a form of insecurity. If I'm meeting someone new I sometimes have to hide my hands, place them under my thighs, put them in my pockets. When someone points it out I just tell them "My hands shake often. I seem to have a low threshold for it :)"

If I don't let it stop me from going anything...who is to say I'm not confident?

I am friends with a guy who is a very assertive ESTJ who stutters slightly when he speaks. Doesn't hold him back, nor should it.

You shouldn't be asking "How can I appear confident?" but asking "Do I hold myself back from doing things?

True confidence is not acting like a slick salesperson or calm psychopath. It's rooted in bravery, authenticity (an INFPs greatest strength), and persistence above all. It's also just a natural result of being competent in something. If you're worried you're not competent in something important to you, all you can do is: practice, practice, practice.
 

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I wouldn't take that video too seriously, I can't tell whether she was sincerely giving tips or kidding around with some of the points. (I think it was a bit of both) Especially the point she made at 2:23. Horrible advice in general but more so for an Fi dominant type.

Because extroverts out number introverts, our idea of a confident person is skewed. You can still be quiet, introverted, mellow etc and be confident in yourself. If you don't like the thought of approaching a stranger to have a mindless conversation about nothing, that in no way means you have low self esteem. It just means you don't like it. But unfortunately, behaviours and traits that stem from introversion is appeared to look like the opposite of what a confident individual exhibits.

I've know plenty of people who can maintain eye contact, mingle with lots of people but dread the thought of being alone because they're not comfortable with who they are. But on the surface, that same person compared to a reserved introvert would look more confident.

It's all about what you know. If you know you're confident, others will sense it when they're talking to you. All these pointless tactics of sticking out your chest, prolonging eye contact etc means nothing if it's just there to act as a mask. And it definitely won't solve the real reason as to why you have low self-confidence in the first place.
 

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All those tips are extremely typical of what bodybuilders and players tell each other. I admit that they hi-jack what confidence means to let it be about this way of behaving, but then again it is very pragmatic because it concerns itself with perceiving confidence (or in many cases it is actually rather dominance, which they mix up a lot). The trick is then fake it till you make it which supposedly works because your emotions are caused by your physical state, so if your arms are crossed you naturally start becoming defensive while if you have an "open" body you will feel more like you own the place, and re-doing this makes it become a normal state.

Now I'm Fi-dom so before I'll even consider its degree of BS, I would look at if it is even how I want to be. Do you want to be constantly aware of your body language and how it affects others just because you want their approval? Is that truly going to make you happy or just stitch a short-term need for validation? I can assure you that if done properly others will find you confident, yes, but that is only part of the equation of being a full person and you may limit yourself or go against your own nature by attaining that life style.
 
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All those tips are extremely typical of what bodybuilders and players tell each other. I admit that they hi-jack what confidence means to let it be about this way of behaving, but then again it is very pragmatic because it concerns itself with perceiving confidence (or in many cases it is actually rather dominance, which they mix up a lot). The trick is then fake it till you make it which supposedly works because your emotions are caused by your physical state, so if your arms are crossed you naturally start becoming defensive while if you have an "open" body you will feel more like you own the place, and re-doing this makes it become a normal state.

Now I'm Fi-dom so before I'll even consider its degree of BS, I would look at if it is even how I want to be. Do you want to be constantly aware of your body language and how it affects others just because you want their approval? Is that truly going to make you happy or just stitch a short-term need for validation? I can assure you that if done properly others will find you confident, yes, but that is only part of the equation of being a full person and you may limit yourself or go against your own nature by attaining that life style.
But it never works...because women can smell fear better than a beagle can smell fried bacon.
 

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But it never works...because women can smell fear better than a beagle can smell fried bacon.
Lol... love that!! So true :)

Hi @nannuky... my confidence is quiet... it comes from hours of self reflection and the hard work I have put in to liking myself as a person. I know I am a survivor and at the end of the day, just trusting my ability to survive provides me with personal courage.

If I try to pose as described in the video it comes off as very hollow and fake... and believe it or not being/feeling unauthentic is more detrimental to my overall confidence than just about anything else I have come across...
 

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But it never works...because women can smell fear better than a beagle can smell fried bacon.
Hehe, well, I think I'll say that it does work, but not on all women, and probably not the first time you do it, but over time it gets easier and more natural to perform. However, I think these techniques are only useful for creating a good fist impression and hopefully keep it all the way to the bedroom. It is really shallow and works better when the target is drunk and needs validation ;)
 
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Hehe, well, I think I'll say that it does work, but not on all women, and probably not the first time you do it, but over time it gets easier and more natural to perform. However, I think these techniques are only useful for creating a good fist impression and hopefully keep it all the way to the bedroom. It is really shallow and works better when the target is drunk and needs validation ;)
Only plain-faced fatties. Attractive women do not need validation from beta men. Eva. So you might as well just have sex with a mattress. It's plain-faced, and fat, and would make more squeaks of passion than a female human being would.

"target is drunk"

That be rape. Just sayin'.
 

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Only plain-faced fatties. Attractive women do not need validation from beta men. Eva. So you might as well just have sex with a mattress. It's plain-faced, and fat, and would make more squeaks of passion than a female human being would.

"target is drunk"

That be rape. Just sayin'.
Mattresses have more advantages over women. You can watch football for hours on top of her with no complaining, even bring your friends to join. Now that's not something you don't see every day

If a mattress gets drunk and raped, I'm sure it had it comin'
 
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I think we can all be pretty much anything we want to be if we want it badly enough. I read recently that using a confident pose for two minutes apparently raises levels of testosterone. A bit like how a person smiles because they are happy, therefore smiling when you're not happy can shift your mood in the direction of being happy.

Humans have amazing inner qualities that can be incredibly versatile. The only things stopping us sometimes are our beliefs. In the end I suppose it's all about what we decide we want for ourselves.
 

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I didn't see the video but I do have experience with developing confidence physically through exercise and mentally through reason. The difference is how calm I am. If I'm in the mood like "I can do anything" I'm not really calm and this mood can often come from lifting weights and overall just feeling very comfortable/pleased physically due to release of chemicals in the brain which could come from a lot of different things. But when I'm not in that state of mind, I'm in a state of mind where I'm confident in my pursuit of perfection and it is a very calm and cool confidence. It is an intelligent confidence where I am sure of myself and understanding of capabilities/things around me. Both types of confidence I experience have an element of optimism to them.
 

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Only plain-faced fatties. Attractive women do not need validation from beta men. Eva. So you might as well just have sex with a mattress. It's plain-faced, and fat, and would make more squeaks of passion than a female human being would.

"target is drunk"

That be rape. Just sayin'.
Wonderful generalization here, completed with a tad of sexist alpha/beta crap. Unattractive people have the right to live and be whatever they want and be appreciated for it, just sayin'. Telling mattresses are more worthwhile than people is plain sick. I'd rather choose a "plain-faced fatty" than an attractive woman who spits those kind of heinous words, and thinks that attractiveness is a free pass to whatever that is she desires.
 

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@Kyusaku I think she is just being sassy to be humorous. It's not so obvious, but all the shortenings of words indicate that she makes a character. She knows pretty girls need validation too
 

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@Kyosaku I think she is just being sassy to be humorous. It's not so obvious, but all the shortenings of words indicate that she makes a character. She knows pretty girls need validation too
That kind of talking coming up on a topic about self confidence is quite upsetting. If that was intended as a pun it was awkwardly delivered and timed. It shows perfectly that some people (unhealthy type 4s in particular), try to find confidence in feeling more special, better, etc than others. By belittling other people you make your self esteem grow, you might think you aren't worth much but you certainly aren't worse than those ones and those ones. That's how I interpret the motive behind that message.
 

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That kind of talking coming up on a topic about self confidence is quite upsetting. If that was intended as a pun it was awkwardly delivered and timed. It shows perfectly that some people (unhealthy type 4s in particular), try to find confidence in feeling more special, better, etc than others. By belittling other people you make your self esteem grow, you might think you aren't worth much but you certainly aren't worse than those ones and those ones. That's how I interpret the motive behind that message.
Nope, stepping further on the downtrodden isn't exactly my cup of tea either. I think only few people would really get it
 
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Wonderful generalization here, completed with a tad of sexist alpha/beta crap. Unattractive people have the right to live and be whatever they want and be appreciated for it, just sayin'. Telling mattresses are more worthwhile than people is plain sick. I'd rather choose a "plain-faced fatty" than an attractive woman who spits those kind of heinous words, and thinks that attractiveness is a free pass to whatever that is she desires.
If a sign of being worthwhile is being raped or preyed upon by pick-up-artists then, yes, a mattress is more worthwhile. And I'd prefer the mattress to be raped or preyed on over a human being.

Also, ugly people totally have a right to exist. Never said they didn't. I'm glad you'd rather date one as there's lots at Walmart.... it's basically like grabbing one from the shelf!
 

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@Kyusaku I think she is just being sassy to be humorous. It's not so obvious, but all the shortenings of words indicate that she makes a character. She knows pretty girls need validation too
Humorous, yes.

Do pretty girls need validation? and is relying on that a good way to get into their bed?

God no. Women are human and, believe it or not, having sex with someone whose and disposition and physicality we find unattractive benefits us in no way whatsoever. We know you think we're hot, we don't need to have sex with you to make sure.

Therefore...mattresses. Learn to love em'. OR have more self-esteem than to look at finding a sexual partner (ugly or stunning) as a chance to prey on someone.
 

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Your self-confidence issues are part of what makes INFPs so great. Humility is awesome. If anyone hates on INFPs I will literally steamroll you into a pancake.
 
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