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Hey guys,

Im pretty new to personality cafe, that is, being a member and actually writing or contributing to the forums. Ive been researching MBTI and Jungian Psychology, for about a half a year now, and tbh since taking a test it now consumes nearly 100% of my typical ENTP bullshit internet webpage hopping time...

With that being said I have come across many descriptions of ENTPs describing our strengths, weaknesses, and other tendencies. As I read a multitude of (some scholarly some forum-ly) sources, I could not help but accept the fact that I am an "unhealthy" ENTP.

***For those ENTP's whose attention spans, like mine, could never endure this below, and for those who want some context before reading, I am trying to get some input or some concrete strategies/ ideas on how to develop my Introverted Thinking function to become an independent person, not a reactionary to the world around me.***

Let me explain... (in unbiased, brutal "please dont think im being an asshole, its just the truth" ENTP honesty)

My external life is great; I am good looking and in great shape, I go to a great college and have an awesome internship lined up in NYC that will begin very soon. I have some great friends and women are drawn to me. I see a bright future ahead of me, but heres my problem....

By nature I also see a very dark, abysmal future ahead... although all of the aforementioned seems awesome it is all my external world, while my inner world is in turmoil because of the way these external fortunes have come into my life. For example, being an ENTP I've always felt like a personality chameleon (Ne-Fe combo) and can relate to absolutely anyone and gain their trust. ANYONE. I also know what it takes to reach a desire, and the ethics, rules and limitations society puts on me to get there in my mind are arbitrary and ignored. Because this ability comes with such ease, I have found that people will do anything for me. People will give me stuff for free, take my word on a dime, or help me out in a bind. Its not even a conscious manipulation, its usually out of laziness which I will admit to whoever I am asking a favor from but will (intuitively) do so in a manner so that it is sympathized with.

This is just one example of MY MAJOR ISSUE... I live my life tethered to my Ne, and day by day life involves passively reacting to whatever life throws at me that day to get what I want and get where I need to... And I am damn good at it. My mind has simplified it to an almost "Wolf of Wall Street" straight line method, where I subconsciously just react to my environment in a manner to fulfill a desire... Getting from A to B as simply as possible. And it works! But because of this, I feel empty inside. I feel that I have earned all the above through cutting corners, beating the system, and innovating shortcuts and now feel that I am not truly extracting 100% of the potential worth out of my endeavors.

Take women for example. I am very good at talking to and hooking up with girls. However, to do so, I do NOT act as myself. And its not even voluntary! For some reason I subconsciously pick up on cues from the girl and just know exactly what to say to get her to hook up with me. Sounds like a gift from God right? ...Not at all. I wake up after being with a girl plagued with guilt, from not actually liking the girl or being intellectually stimulated by her, and it makes sex and interaction with women so terribly unrewarding. I want a girl who really gets me and I can be myself around but I don't see myself finding her for a loooooong time (given I am in a frat, and most of the people I associate with are Sensors, probably part of the problem...) To be honest, except for the beginning of this thread, I have never actually said that I am "good with girls" because I'm not... the masks I wear are fantastic pick up artists. If I had to be myself around a girl I wanted to be with, I wouldn't even know where to start. <<<(probably going to make a thread on this exact problem sometime soon)

This is FINALLY (sorry for the ridiculously large amount of background info) where my Ti comes into play. Since highschool my self-confidence has seriously declined. Not to be confused with self esteem, because I have always and still do think quite highly of myself, but as far as confidence in my academic abilities, mature conversation, sports, or really anything that requires practice and dedication, that I once had in highschool, has evaporated. Even the quick wit I used to and all ENTP's pride themselves on is now gone, and I find myself unable to physically utter the right word for the situation... even though my Ne has the framework and has set the stage for the exact idea of what I want to say (which is usually correct/humorous) I cant choose the words to say it quickly enough anymore. Its like Ti is broken, or deficient now. I believe that this is because in highschool, I prided myself on my intelligence compared to the more introverted "nerdy" (believe me I love nerds, way more than most extraverts, just love competing with them more :wink:) classmates. The best feeling in the world was watching the frustration of teachers who after calling on a nerdier classmate to yield the wrong answer would then call on me while goofing around and hear me correctly answer a question (and then some) while knowing nothing about the lesson, based on minimal information on the board or from homework I crammed the night before.

I cant do that anymore... Maybe its because the competition to be smart is gone? I dont really interact with "classmates" in college, as none of my friends are in my classes, but regardless, something happened to my Ti, and I no longer have a confidence in my intellectual abilities or have any even logically based beliefs or convictions like I once had in highschool. I've always toyed around with the thought that maybe its because I started smoking pot in college, and haven't necessarily crossed that possibility off the list yet, but have recently been beginning to think its related to the order of my priorities, which have almost switched to sensory desires, like sex and experiences with friends taking precedence over intellectual pursuits. I feel as if I am turning into an EN*zero*P, with no GPS in life, just a floating jellyfish whose direction is determined by the tides, who is Oh so good at turning its stingers at the right time and place to catch its next meal. I fear that this mentality has set me up for utter failure in the real world, and I am worried I will never bee able to regain a handle on my Ti.

***If you skipped, start here***

So the long and short of it... How do I get Ti back? I must admit I am lazy af so I've thought about just rearragning my priorities to stop drinking smoking and pursuing women to just reading and researching academic things that spark my interest... but I havent actually tried it because I know that it will drain my extroverted side which has always been a part of me. Do you think that would be worth doing? What are concrete examples of strategies I can use to take control of my introverted thinking and stop using it to solely serve Ne's purposes, and have it manifest itself more independently? Is it as simple as "Just think?" I've tried just thinking before I speak and act, but I find myself wasting time in my head missing the opportunity to actually act as the situation demands. But who knows.

Hopefully this isnt so long that no one replies, cause I know its a doozy. Let me know if you have any ideas or if you think im scratching the surface. I really want this internship I have to work out and for those around me to think I am smart and capable, not adorably incompetent and only able to charm my way into an office job. I know I am capable of being "intellegent" or "intellectual" again, but I just cant seem to find the missing piece of the puzzle inside, which I think is Ti. Fe is pretty developed, and Si, well, if you know yourself then you know my Si is a joke of a function. Thanks in advance for the help!
 

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Birdie Borracho
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@mtatt07 I talked about it here, recently: http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/562250-revisiting-personality-loops.html

Btw, I was in a fraternity too. I think they are great ENTP playgrounds if you can get through pledging.

Ti is actually simple and yet so hard to gain. You know how I did it? I had a real man in the mirror moment where I realized how big of a piece of shit I am and how fake I really was. You need to hit rock bottom, cognitively, strip away everything that is a mask, and look at yourself. From there you must love yourself, especially if you don't like what you find. I discovered myself a year ago (I'm 26) and the past year has been one of consistent contentedness. Happiness comes and goes, but if you can wake up everyday and be fine with who you are, it impacts everything you do. I get along with people, I am never depressed, and yet I don't fake Fe too often.

I do mean this sincerely, too, but my signature quote is there for a reason. Sure, it's halfway a fun joke, but at the same time, the only competition in life is with yourself right now. All the accolades for intelligence, being friendly, being funny don't mean shit when you inwardly think of yourself as trash. That is where Ti comes in, regarding its use as a paradigm. We are meant to think before we feel. I you continue to worry about how others feel about you, instead of what you think of yourself, then 'Ti' will never manifest. You can still be highly analytical, but Ti MUST be stronger than Fe, in order for an ENTP to be healthy.
 

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Grumpy old bastard
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How much do you want to be seen?

I know you. You are brilliant, with an IQ higher than most everyone. Everyone sees your energy, and you don't ever want for much of anything. You are popular, but don't care. You get laid, but don't care. You have fun in a drunken party, and wake up bored.

I'd encourage you to learn enneagram and stackings, 2 more windows into your psyche.

I'd encourage you to learn about depression. I suffered from it for a VERY long time.

I'd encrouage you to keep going. You will indeed find things which interest you.

And don't be afraid to drop me a PM. I was where you are now, but 25 years ago. You will make it, and life is fucking awesome.
 

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I suspect you haven't lost your Ti at all. It sounds like you have that cruel b*tch Inferior Si whispering in your ear right now. You're exactly the right age for it.

Remember, it is through our introverted perceiving functions that we are best able to see ourselves. But when that function is inferior (as it is for all E**Ps), it tends to be negative ... at least initially. Si is oppositional to our dominant function Ne, so when it starts to develop we begin to feel like all our Ne awesomeness is just a flashy coating. Thus, everything from which we have derived our confidence and purpose gets thrown into question.

So, I think you haven't "lost" Ti, you're just insecure about Ne, and when Ne is crippled, it can't play with its auxiliary friend.
 
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Ti is your internal information processing, while you were explaining what is wrong you were using it and building it up. IMO you are too extroverted for your own good.

The Ti needs to be filled as internal source of info, its filled from Ne mostly and the Fe pushes too much info out. Therefore I would recommend spending more time alone, you are overstimulated. This is my hypothesis based on the work I do on deciphering my function processes.
 
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