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Alright i've finally got it through my thick skull that there are actually girls that think i'm cute, and are at least semi-interested. I see more and more every day, and i'm very slowly becoming less introverted. These are all good things.

So my question is: is there a way to speed up the process of my becoming more extraverted and less socially inhibited via manipulation of my own emotions? (or any other means for that matter)

I know head types in the enneagram are motivated by fear, which has stopped me from talking to girls i've wanted to for irrational reasons that I can't even explain. Could there be a way to twist this fear to my advantage? By forcing myself to fear NOT talking to them, I know from experience that telling my friends to shinkick me if I don't talk to a girl if this is any help.
 

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I'd say, do it at your own comfortable pace. Everything else will be temporary and drug-like.
 

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Alright i've finally got it through my thick skull that there are actually girls that think i'm cute, and are at least semi-interested. I see more and more every day, and i'm very slowly becoming less introverted. These are all good things.

So my question is: is there a way to speed up the process of my becoming more extraverted and less socially inhibited via manipulation of my own emotions? (or any other means for that matter)

I know head types in the enneagram are motivated by fear, which has stopped me from talking to girls i've wanted to for irrational reasons that I can't even explain. Could there be a way to twist this fear to my advantage? By forcing myself to fear NOT talking to them, I know from experience that telling my friends to shinkick me if I don't talk to a girl if this is any help.
Alcohol.

10char
 

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@nadjasix tried that, it still doen't work, and I can't be under the influence when I have to focus on a est or something
 

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I haven't heard of valium, and if I haven't heard of Valium at the school I go to, that means stay the fuck away from it :p
 

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I haven't heard of valium, and if I haven't heard of Valium at the school I go to, that means stay the fuck away from it :p
A good idea.
I took valium for 1.5 months and when I decided to stop, it was like taking an arrow to each knee.

My father swears by it for when he’s stressed and anxious and needs to chill out, but when I take it I become drowsy. I’ve yet to take any sort of anti depressant that works for me.

Oh and if I recall correctly mixing valium and alcohol can make for a heart stopping experience in certain people, not sure what the corresponding dosages are though.
 

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I haven't heard of valium, and if I haven't heard of Valium at the school I go to, that means stay the fuck away from it :p
Adderall makes me a complete extrovert and I love it. I'm getting to the point where I might go fake having ADD so I can get a perscription. Everybody I know says I'm a way better person when I'm on adderall.
 

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I'd rather not rely on substance abuse as a means of becoming more extroverted, I have an extremely addictive personality, and would get paranoid about running out. Also some of the side effects of those 2 drugs cause death, i'll just wait for college, if Darwin taught me anything, it's that I will eventually adapt.

Besides possessing adderall in the us without a prescription is a criminal offense
 

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Alright i've finally got it through my thick skull that there are actually girls that think i'm cute, and are at least semi-interested. I see more and more every day, and i'm very slowly becoming less introverted. These are all good things.

So my question is: is there a way to speed up the process of my becoming more extraverted and less socially inhibited via manipulation of my own emotions? (or any other means for that matter)

I know head types in the enneagram are motivated by fear, which has stopped me from talking to girls i've wanted to for irrational reasons that I can't even explain. Could there be a way to twist this fear to my advantage? By forcing myself to fear NOT talking to them, I know from experience that telling my friends to shinkick me if I don't talk to a girl if this is any help.
You need to stop worrying about any implications of what you say. Seriously, it doesn't matter. Anyone who doesn't take you seriously or accept you isn't worth your time anyway. You know other girls want you and that you are desirable so go with it. You sound like you're making progress so that's good.
Try not to approach girls as the opposite sex and dating potential. Approach girls as people, normal people that you would say hi to and have a regular conversation. Just because the girl is attractive and cool doesn't automatically mean you should jump the gun into dating zone. Seriously, pretend like she's just another cool person that you want to learn more about and then everything progresses naturally. Don't create any expectations of her developing a romantic interest, this is too much pressure.
 

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Alright i've finally got it through my thick skull that there are actually girls that think i'm cute, and are at least semi-interested. I see more and more every day, and i'm very slowly becoming less introverted. These are all good things.
Lol it seems it took you a while to accept the fact that girls could actually be into you ...:kitteh: I went through the same thing but of course with guys, and I think what motivated me to become more extroverted was that people are genuinely interested in me. Yeah it's a little uncomfortable having to adjust yourself to the whole being more open and socializing part but in the long run it will be worth it. You will have overcome your fears. :crazy:

So my question is: is there a way to speed up the process of my becoming more extraverted and less socially inhibited via manipulation of my own emotions? (or any other means for that matter)
Speed up the process? Hm, don't focus on speeding up the process as much as just gradually becoming less introverted. It's probably not good to force it, so for now just socialize as much as you feel comfortable doing. Get yourself out there and talk to people. Also, I've noticed that meditating has helped me to become more relaxed which in turn helps when I'm with people; it becomes easier to socialize when you feel at ease so I would suggest trying that as well. :)



I know head types in the enneagram are motivated by fear, which has stopped me from talking to girls i've wanted to for irrational reasons that I can't even explain. Could there be a way to twist this fear to my advantage? By forcing myself to fear NOT talking to them, I know from experience that telling my friends to shinkick me if I don't talk to a girl if this is any help.
I had the same problem lol. My situation was more about a fear of emotions and being vulnerable but I think in your case- you need to just realize that if you choose to not talk to them, you will suffer in the end because it will just be another missed opportunity. And you know this because it's happened many times before. You know what you have to do, so do it. :laughing:
 
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When I try to manipulate myself, I need one thing: a good reason. It doesn't have to make real sense to anyone but myself.

Also, here's a more practical approach:

If I'm shy to talk more to a guy I like, I will somehow borrow something (e.g. a book or DVD) from him. This would give me justifiable reasons to be in contact with him. It will also create opportunities for future discussions and follow-ups...and hopefully it'll go from there.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Well I felt extremely confident at school today, people noticed too, I got 3 hellos from people I barely know (2 of them girls, and 1 of them quite attractive), and 1 yesterday. However, I still do not feel able to talk to whoever to please, most of the girls who I notice are interested are when i'm walking in the hallway, and they're walking the other way, I suppose I feel as though there is not enough time.

Also, I found out that I may have narcolepsy, so Adderall could be a legitimate solution.

Yes, I also find that I can talk to easily, I have no interest in, or they've provided me with an opening. I currently have the same attitude towards talking to people that I don't know, that I have with war; Wait patiently for an opening, and then open up.

@ConsistentlyInconsistent I've been described as your username lol, and as for meditation, I often go into a sleeplike state, so it'd be a bit difficult to control when I finished, which is bad as the effects are relatively short lived.

I have no chance to ask for things to borrow, as I already obviously have everything I need, and if its food i'm asking for, I feel like a mooch.
 

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@Hruberen : You remind me of a boy I knew in high school. Super cute, super shy, all the girls were in love with him... BUT HE DIDNT NOTICE! haha :) I dont know what you look like, but your description of all this sounds an awful lot like him haha.

Dont be afraid! we dont bite! (unless you're into that kinda thing i guess)

If you're looking for reasons to talk to a girl, just try to connect via school/homework stuff... and the borrowing stuff was a good idea. Like "hey, did you get the hw?" or something like that would do too. Dont be afraid to ask a question just to get the convo going
 

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