Self Expression

Yep, it's the negative side of "the chameleon thing", everybody constantly wears masks but the INTPs have taken it to a whole new level. We do this because of our lack of real social skills and our need to test others. By copying the behaviour of others we force them to be themselves, we try to make them feel at home so they will be more open to our ideas and more inclined to say what they really think and feel too. However, this way of interacting also has the negative side effect that we can't be ourselves because we're constantly mimicking others. We are too open-minded at the beginning of a conversation, but we're too harsh later on in a conversation when our inner principles are tested by the others. When this happens we stop being chameleons and will fiercely defend our inner principles until we are proven wrong by the other conversationalist. This makes perfect sense to us but it will feel as a personal attack to the other, who will either get angry, abruptly end the conversation or show incomprehension. This makes us feel misunderstood, because they seem to don't care for our ideas (which is the biggest insult in the INTP's book). Thus, the problem you're describing has a lot to do with our own way of interacting with others: we want to explain ourselves but they are usually not interested in having to deal with our inner workings and the accompanying debates.

cavarice said:

I reject the very concept of a static identity. There's no single unifying label or theme that I can use to cover all that is me.

Having no fixed sense of self doesn't bother me, but it does create problems when I introduce myself to people, because people ask questions that are pre-loaded with the assumption of a static identity.

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I do have a strong sense of a fixed self. However, I know that I can't put my essence/inner self into words. So I agree that there's no unifying label or theme to cover all of me, but that's just because our language isn't sufficiently evolved to capture what this fixed self/fixed identity is. I know that I have a psychological self but I can't express this self in language because there's no frame of reference for anybody besides myself; they would never be able to pick up on what I'm saying because it would be needed for them to have experienced certain things that only I have experienced (within my mind). The simple fact that we can't fully describe or comprehend our 'real' inner identity doesn't mean that it doesn't exist at all. Whether this One Identity is completely static is the question, but I do believe that there is some kind of foundation or core to my identity, because it feels as though some things in me have never changed.

My perception of my dream world is a good example of a reason for me to believe that I have one true identity; I always dream from the perspective of my own identity or upon my own identity in the case of a dream in which I'm externally following my bodily representation (I refuse to call it 'my bodily self' because I'm not a philosophical dualist), and this always gives me the sense of oneness. Even when I'm not 'in my own body' during a dream, I'll still feel as though I'm one, mentally fixed person. I always have a sense of self, both in the material as well as in the dream world, there's always a certain familiarity to my thoughts and views.

This is also the reason why I'm not really convicted to the postmodern views held by so many these days, they seem to leave out something absolutely essential, namely: my familiarity with my thinking or, in other words, my truth. I hear a lot of people these days speak of 'many truths' and 'many interpretations', and some even go as far as saying that we ourselves (our identities) are deconstructable and open to many interpretations. Well, it might be possible to give a different interpretation then my own to my thinking but these interpretations are always incomplete because they can never incorporate some experiences which are unique to my being. I feel wholeness and oneness, and that's why I don't believe that you can say that I somehow don't have one (partly) fixed personality.

I've thought about this mirroring/mask wearing (and all of your thoughts here) and here are the results.

INTP Described on PersonalityCafe as “mirroring” others, like a chameleon changing colors to match background.
I note this mirroring is like being a "Boggart" (see Harry Potter): I reveal people to themselves (if they only knew); once I have mirrored them long enough, I can decide if I find them valueable or not. Unfortunately, people like being imirrored and decide we are friends, when I was only exploring them.

We also mirror people we love/like, as a result of being so deeply focused on them.

INTPs are odd because we can mirror without loving/liking, which confuses others because they only mirror when they love/like someone.

Maybe we are exactly like a Boggart: we are compelled to mirror what we intuit. Maybe the mask is forced on us by the stranger. That is often how ti feels to me, as if I am not chosing to act in a certain way but forced to do so. That might be why it is so exhausting to be around some people. This might be the explanation of energy-vampires…they are good at locking on to IN types and engaging our ability to concentrate deeply and focusing it on themselves. Add their desire for attention to my propensity for mirroring…

Thoughts?