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**I didn't really know where to post this, apologies if it's in the wrong place. I haven't been on the site for a while

Lately I've tried to make it my goal to be less self absorbed. it hasn't really worked out though -.- so I wonder if anyone has any tips or anything? personal experience?


**the long paragraph - i just sort of spilled, I will post it but please feel in no way obliged to read it. i didn;t intend to write that much but it just poured out of me. the relevant bits are all above :)


my story is, I know that when I was younger I was the most horrific, screaming, tantrum throwing brat around. I was horrible. Over the last few years, since I started the 'big school' i guess, I've tried to change myself. and i have, and i'm proud of myself. I made a conscious decision to be more open minded, kinder, more considerate and empathetic, and more relaxed.
and i thought, yeah this is it. I'm, a better version of me.
but i've been thinking, and feeling a little sad over, the face that my parents have changed a lot from when i was little, for the worse. they;re impatient, volatile and often resentful. I very occasionally get glimpses of the way they used to be, the good versions of themselves. of course i know they weren't all perfect but they're definitely worse now.
however it's just occured to me that i'm probably a big factor in that. i'm still selfish, petulant, i push for things and don't take no for an answer. i feel awful after getting them to spend moeny on me and vow not to ask for anything for months after, but a couple of weeks later i'm begging again. I am a horrible child. i keep trying to change it but this time i invariably revert back to that kid I keep trying to run away from. on an outer level i'm compassionate. i care for the world. when i finish school i want to change things for the better, try to create as much equality as i can. in school i am quiet, modest, but easily irritated by the demanding and egotistical people i know.
but just because i dont seem like that on the outside, and i'm not liket that on a larger (less personal) scale, i am to my family, and so i am. i need to change
 

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You mention feeling self-absorbed and seeing how your family has seems disengaged in communicating.. I wonder if the disconnect at home has caused the feelings of being self-absorbed and pushing for things. It almost sounds like you're stuck in your thoughts, and when your parents intervene, you want a solution, but the solutions sounds like better communication with one another?

I have a motto: when people are angry and hurt, they don't listen to one another, so they keep screaming, shouting or nagging, when they all want is to be heard. I hope I'm not assuming. Change starts with communication, then your positive side will naturally express itself in a natural way that's self-encouraging.
 

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wow i am going through kind of same condition as your's.yeah i'm kinda lame possessive person but i do i like to help others but when i don't feel right i honestly say i' unable to them.but i don't know why some people lack simple understanding and tag me as i'm a selfish.
 
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