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The Self-Preservation Six - "Warmth"

In the Self-Preservation Six personality, fear manifests as insecurity. Self-Preservation Sixes have a fear related to survival-a fear of not being protected that fuels a driving need for protection through friendship and other kinds of alliances with others. This is the most phobic of the three Six subtypes; this is the Six subtype who feels fear the most.

Perceiving the world as dangerous, Self-Preservation Sixes seek friendly connections and alliances, and to do this they endeavor to be friendly, trustworthy, and supportive-as good allies are supposed to be. As Naranjo clarifies, "not trusting themselves enough, they feel alone and incapable without outside support." Self-Preservation Sixes want to feel the embrace of the family, to be in a warm, protected place where there are no enemies. They search for an "idealized other" for protection, and they can have issues that look like separation anxiety. Like a child who needs to hold on to the mother, these Sixes don't feel confident in defending their own self-interests and survival.

These Sixes seek to escape anxiety by seeking the security of protection; therefore, they become dependent on others. They have a passion for compensating for the fear of separation, which manifests as warm and friendly temperament. Their driving need is therefore for something like (neurotic) friendship or warmth, which makes this subtype the warmest of these Sixes. They tend to be in a good mood and have a generally pleasant disposition. They look for a bond of intimacy and trust in their relationships, and they fear disappointing others, especially those who are closest to them. Being warm is their way of getting people to be friendly so they won't be attacked.

Self-Preservation Sixes fear anger, aggression, provocation, and confrontation. Being afraid of other people's aggression means they can't let their own aggression out. As Naranjo explains in describing this Six, making people like you means being good, and being good means not being angry. Naranjo asserts that "the taboo on aggression that results from the needs of dependency weakens this Six in the face of others' aggression and contributes to their insecurity and their need for external support."

There is a lot of hesitation, indecision, and uncertainty in the Self-Preservation Six personality. These Sixes ask many questions, but they don't answer any. They doubt themselves, and they doubt their doubt. Feeling uncertain and unable to find a satisfying sense of certainty, Self-Preservation Sixes have a difficult time making decisions. They see the world in terms of ambiguity-as "gray" rather than "black and white." People with this subtype can't dispel their sense of doubt and uncertainty. Because of their fundamental sense of insecurity and their habit of questions and doubting, they never feel ready or able. They also feel a lot of blame and guilt, even assuming or feeling the blame of others.

There are two realities for Self-Preservation Sixes: an external reality of warmth, tenderness, serenity, and peacefulness, and an inner reality of fear, guilt, anguish, and torment. Their head and heart are separated-they feel heart-centered on the outside, but are head-centered internally.

As the most phobic of the three Sixes, the avoidant Self-Preservation subtype equates love with protection, and in looking for love they search for a source of security to compensate for an inner sense of insecurity. This Six wants to find a strong person to lean on, and they many be excessively friendly and giving as a way of preventing an attack from outside. In order to feel the strength they are lacking, the Self-Preservation Six attracts the affections or protection of somebody strong-the more forceful presence of another helps them to feel safer.

Self-Preservation Sixes can thus look like Type Twos in that they are warm and friendly and put a lot of energy and attention into the development of relationships with others. Like Type Twos, these Sixes tend to lead with affection and accommodate others as a way of forging connections-but unlike Twos, their deepest motivation is to create safety, not to gain approval in support of pride.


Linda, a Self-Preservation Six, speaks:

I live in a small community governed by a homeowners' association. Initially, I was comforted that we could come together as a group to create guidelines and rules that I assumed would make for less conflict between neighbors and more security. I made it a point to meet and establish a comfortable relationship with each of them. I volunteered to be on the board, and even offered to lend my professional expertise to work with the entire group on our community values and vision.

Over time, though, I saw that compliance to the governing principles was lax and enforcement was selective or nonexistent. Four years ago a situation arose in which my rights were being violated by a neighbor, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, the board sided with the neighbor. In one fatal stroke my carefully natured allies became dangerous enemies, rendering me defenseless because of my fear of invoking further attack should I try to defend myself or my interests.

My shock and anger at their betrayal quickly devolved into a sense of guilt, shame, and anxiety so profound that I could no longer attend homeowner meetings, speak with my neighbors, or even walk around the block because of my fear of being "attacked." I became obsessed with phantom conversations in my mind, composing just the right speech that would win them back or what I would say or do to these people for revenge, if only I had the courage to do so. On the outside, I try to act friendly, but on the inside I feel fearful and contemptuous. This dissonance is exhausting. All I want to do now is sell the house and escape from this place and these people.

Specific Work For The Self-Preservation Six on the Path from Vice to Virtue

Self-Preservation Sixes can travel the path from fear to courage by saying things directly instead of being vague; making decisions instead of staying lost in question; and having the fortitude to fulfill their own needs rather than always looking to others for support and protection. If you are a Self-Preservation Six, you can work toward embodying courage by giving voice to your aggression in conscious, constructive ways. Take the risk to learn that you can draw on your own aggression and confidence more actively in support of yourself. Challenge yourself to break out of the compulsion to always need to be good and docile, and practice allowing yourself to be angry. Have the courage to say more clearly what your really think, especially when your fear others might disapprove. State your opinions and preferences, not from a place of reactivity under duress, but from a calm place of confidence that's more connected to your power and strength. Risk being "bad," getting mad, and expressing more of who you are without apology or doubt. Have the courage to own your power and authority in the world without needing to project it onto others. Rather than expecting support from others, own your many positive qualities such that you can be more confident in yourself. Work to have a more conscious sense of your strength and strength of purpose, knowing you have the courage to support yourself in the world in whatever ways your might need to.
 

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Thx for this, if you have SX & SO can you plz post them as well?

>.< damn it I'm no Sp according to this >.> & Naranjo's SO is my exact opposite so...damn..making me doubt being a 6 ^^ lol.
 

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I thinking I may be a six. But that stuff about protection being love, and security. That is philosophy. Freud would say civilization is built on that. Of course it is. I intellectually believe it. So did a ton of other people, with different personalities. I know violence is the ultimate arbiter. It isn't an insecurity, it is a fact. Some people learn it many more times than others.

Everyone wants to cuddle next to something. People who say science will solve everything, that is a motherly relationship of protection. Everyone wants authority to appeal to. To explain all things, and watch over them. It is a primal human inclination.

Anyone who asks a lot of questions, but answers few, is wise. I don't know this guy's background, but I think there is a ton of previous thought on this subject, that he misses. Guys like Freud convinced me of this stuff a while ago. It was basically his main message. Tons of others did too. We are a social species that must cooperate somewhat. We do need to depend on others. But falsehoods like "freedom" keep saying otherwise. The world is grey. This is philosophy.

Freud explains guilt well, and it makes more sense than this guy. Guilt is control without action. Action at a distance. A person with no guilt, only recognizes the law of the jungle. Who is strong in the environment, at that time. Guilt scares a person into inaction. That is why I don't abide by it. You aren't controlling me with it. It is in you, not me. Which was Hume too.
 

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Wow, this just put into words what i am and how i feel on a daily basis. Although with feeling protected, I don't usually want to depend on people for that. I actually feel anxious if I had to depend of someone else to feel protected. What I want most and strive to do is to be able to protect myself and to know that everything might disappear in my life, I will still be able to survive. As with being honest and direct with people, I've been trying to do that more lately because I realize that beating around the bush doesn't really yield my desired results.
 

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Wow, this just put into words what i am and how i feel on a daily basis. Although with feeling protected, I don't usually want to depend on people for that. I actually feel anxious if I had to depend of someone else to feel protected. What I want most and strive to do is to be able to protect myself and to know that everything might disappear in my life, I will still be able to survive. As with being honest and direct with people, I've been trying to do that more lately because I realize that beating around the bush doesn't really yield my desired results.
That is Fe. That is why Fe runs things. Because it knows the best strategy to use. That is how I know it, and use it. If I thought it didn't work, I wouldn't use it. I know it does. Nice people get taken advantage of. You need defense. This is why Fi doms are so liable to be manipulated. They lead with their chin. I am a boxer, I have footwork, I stick and move. I am always slapping the environment away. Its will. I am in battle mode. Fi doms are shields down, weapons disarmed. Many are just as uncomfortable in the environment as me, but don't go into red alert. They go nice.

I said I order around cops when stuff goes down. They say they want to leave, I tell them, no you're not. Because you realize that most people in life only are there to show up, and not solve problems. They are held together by rank and fear. They fall apart under pressure. I am quiet, but when things get serious, I am giving the orders. Doctor, cop, firemen. Doesn't matter. I do not tolerate any incompetence in the environment on serious issues. Because I know I'm right, and everybody else does too. I am there on principle. They are not. That is why it is so dangerous to believe in them falsely. Don't count on them to make important decisions. Make them yourself.
 

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That is Fe. That is why Fe runs things. Because it knows the best strategy to use. That is how I know it, and use it. If I thought it didn't work, I wouldn't use it. I know it does. Nice people get taken advantage of. You need defense. This is why Fi doms are so liable to be manipulated. They lead with their chin. I am a boxer, I have footwork, I stick and move. I am always slapping the environment away. Its will. I am in battle mode. Fi doms are shields down, weapons disarmed. Many are just as uncomfortable in the environment as me, but don't go into red alert. They go nice.

I said I order around cops when stuff goes down. They say they want to leave, I tell them, no you're not. Because you realize that most people in life only are there to show up, and not solve problems. They are held together by rank and fear. They fall apart under pressure. I am quiet, but when things get serious, I am giving the orders. Doctor, cop, firemen. Doesn't matter. I do not tolerate any incompetence in the environment on serious issues. Because I know I'm right, and everybody else does too. I am there on principle. They are not. That is why it is so dangerous to believe in them falsely. Don't count on them to make important decisions. Make them yourself.
I can totally relate with being in "battle mode". I've been told I am always nice but when I am at work, nice goes out of the window. There really isn't anyone I trust more at work than myself. I had to expand my skills and knowledge a lot in order to be confident at work. I am a nurse and it helps me a lot to question Doctor's orders. Also when push comes to shove in Emergency situations, I have only myself to rely on. I think the key is to focus on the results rather than the fear.

Yeah, I think I've come to the conclusion that being protected by another person isn't really that stable, you know? Like placing your safety in the hands of another is a very stupid thing to do because people are fickle. So I am trying to learn all the skills I can use in order to protect myself, to be independent.
 

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I can totally relate with being in "battle mode". I've been told I am always nice but when I am at work, nice goes out of the window. There really isn't anyone I trust more at work than myself. I had to expand my skills and knowledge a lot in order to be confident at work. I am a nurse and it helps me a lot to question Doctor's orders. Also when push comes to shove in Emergency situations, I have only myself to rely on. I think the key is to focus on the results rather than the fear.

Yeah, I think I've come to the conclusion that being protected by another person isn't really that stable, you know? Like placing your safety in the hands of another is a very stupid thing to do because people are fickle. So I am trying to learn all the skills I can use in order to protect myself, to be independent.
I have been putting together what Fe is through sports. Many great athletes are STP. They have a Fe "back". It is their third eye. Like Wayne Gretzky, he said he skates where the puck will be. That is more than just physical information, it is reading other people. Reading the environment. Fe has a spotlight on the environment. Life is just like sports. Finding the mismatch. Lebron James. Can play any position. So Lebron gets the ball, and they double team him. Lebron passes to the open guy. That is a championship team on his passing. When everyone insists he shoot. Fe doesn't want to find their best shot, but THE best shot.

It's all about defense. Letting others make mistakes. That is what wins everything. There was a thread in the INFJ forum about INFJ being good defenders in sports. I definitely agree with that. I love shutting down the best guy. I love playing on the road. Shutting down offense is the most powerful thing. Just wait for others to make mistakes, they always do. It is much easier to defend, than attack. In wrestling, I was defense. I would control a guy. And they would try to appeal to my pride, that I was playing it safe. I don't care. I'm winning. Get out of it yourself. So, I control them, and they have to try to get out, and it is easier to defend. Same thing with Lebron. They want him to score. He passes, and that is when they win.

And I said about Jim Brown, he said that everyone who tackles me, will remember how much it hurts. Because he knows, when all is said and done, the only person he can rely on, on that field, is himself. Not his teammates. Same with Lebron. He is still doing it all, just by passing and other things too.
 

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Welp, seems like I'm not an SP six. I'm not externally warm or friendly, at all. Everything else fits though.
I don't think it has to fit 100%, as long as the idea behind it works... well even if that doesn't fit either, I don't think every sp 6 is gonna be the same, since it's not like everyone will be perfectly manifested as one of 27 subtypes.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Thx for this, if you have SX & SO can you plz post them as well?

>.< damn it I'm no Sp according to this >.> & Naranjo's SO is my exact opposite so...damn..making me doubt being a 6 ^^ lol.
Sure, I'll try to post them over the weekend.
 

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im an sp dom and a type 6 and relate more to the sp descriptions by themselves than the sp6 descriptions. I'm pretty hot and cold rather than consistentally warm but avoid aggression, it's hard when you disagree with people so diplomacy is good. i don't place much premium of having many alliances either, well maybe there's a couple of very close people to me whom i trust for the most part, it's hard to trust completely, it takes a long time.

On the outside, I try to act friendly, but on the inside I feel fearful and contemptuous. This dissonance is exhausting. All I want to do now is sell the house and escape from this place and these people.
dang on, it's like feeling exhausted by not trying to make enemies especially when you can't avoid being hated anyway.
 

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@FreeBeer and @mushr00m It's funny, if we go by this, I'd be an SP dom 6. If we go with the typical way of defining SP dom I am clearly SP last, but just going by this description I'm an SP dom 6. Everyone likes me, says I'm pleasant and friendly, I look for security in relationships, I always know how to say just the right things to never have anyone mad at me etc.I do not know how to be angry. I numb out all aggression in a typically nine like manner. But in the more typical SP ways like taking care of myself, I pretty much fail. And everyone I know agrees I tend to fail at doing normal things to take care of myself. This sounds like a six with a nine fix which is what I am. And being good at interacting with people I could also pin to SO. Ha, I just realized that all of them are one particular fix after reading all three. her SX six is six with eight fix, her SO six is six with one fix, and her SP six is six with nine fix which is why I relate so well. But aside from that, I'm clearly not SP dom. Maybe if I ever learn to do things like make sure I have food to eat when I need it, or not continuously almost pay all my bills late, or have strong desires to engage in dangerous activities, I will magically be SP dom. Or if I could stop myself from asking out guys I barely know because I felt so connected at that moment. So yeah, I'd take them all as more of a guide towards what your gut fix is. Just my thoughts on the matter.
 

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@Arya

I like your comments on these subtypes. A lot of people have suggested that the subtype descriptions are actually descriptions of different kinds of type X rather than being instinct-related. Many 6s, like yourself, have been very vocal in this regard. I personally am not in favor of using the subtypes to override the core issues of the types, as has become fashionable in many circles. So, I'm always happy to read stuff like this.

My thoughts are that the SP description is actually a 9-fixed 6, SX is an 8-fixed 6, and SOC is 1-fixed. But I'll leave that to 6s to determine.
 

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@Arya

I like your comments on these subtypes. A lot of people have suggested that the subtype descriptions are actually descriptions of different kinds of type X rather than being instinct-related. Many 6s, like yourself, have been very vocal in this regard. I personally am not in favor of using the subtypes to override the core issues of the types, as has become fashionable in many circles. So, I'm always happy to read stuff like this.

My thoughts are that the SP description is actually a 9-fixed 6, SX is an 8-fixed 6, and SOC is 1-fixed. But I'll leave that to 6s to determine.
Yeah that was my first reaction. It sounds like the fixes at play more than anything else. I'm not sure when the instincts became so convoluted that they really have nothing to do with with their basic definitions. I've already gotten a bit of skepticism on PerC for saying I'm a non CP SX dom six who is not aggressive. I could argue that I am in some ways very CP actually, as are pretty much all sixes, but not in the way the Beatrice Chestnut describes the SX six. I do work to overcome fear. I just don't use aggression or intimidation or my physicality.
 

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Yeah that was my first reaction. It sounds like the fixes at play more than anything else. I'm not sure when the instincts became so convoluted that they really have nothing to do with with their basic definitions. I've already gotten a bit of skepticism on PerC for saying I'm a non CP SX dom six who is not aggressive. I could argue that I am in some ways very CP actually, as are pretty much all sixes, but not in the way the Beatrice Chestnut describes the SX six. I do work to overcome fear. I just don't use aggression or intimidation or my physicality.
Well I will certainly take your word for it. The 27 subtype descriptions espoused most recently by Chestnut describe a certain emotional pattern rather than an exploration of how the instincts affect the core fixation. Yet, I was taught that your first instinct is where your insecurities and hangups lie (and your last instinct is what's "missing" from your life). So why is it that this is not addressed in the subtype descriptions? Though Riso and Hudson draw much fire on this message board, I find that they actually do a commendable job in this respect--integrating the instinct issues with the fixation itself. They're my go-to's for instinctual information, actually.
 

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Well I will certainly take your word for it. The 27 subtype descriptions espoused most recently by Chestnut describe a certain emotional pattern rather than an exploration of how the instincts affect the core fixation. Yet, I was taught that your first instinct is where your insecurities and hangups lie (and your last instinct is what's "missing" from your life). So why is it that this is not addressed in the subtype descriptions? Though Riso and Hudson draw much fire on this message board, I find that they actually do a commendable job in this respect--integrating the instinct issues with the fixation itself. They're my go-to's for instinctual information, actually.
I love Riso and Hudson. They actually have some stellar six descriptions and I agree about the instincts. this description gets to the core of what a six is in my opinion better than most 6—Enneagram Type Six: The Loyalist—Overview I could go into discussion about my instinct stack if you want to know exactly why, but I do agree. Your first instinct is a bit of a neurosis I'd say, but I think your third instinct makes you feel more insecure. Or that's how it works for me. I get upset when I don't have what my first instinct wants, but I feel pretty insecure about how badly I use my last instinct. And then my middle instinct is not a need or an insecurity.
 
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@Arya
That's a decent point. I wouldn't say I'm as friendly and warm as the self-preservation 6 is described but I probably do give off a more harmless/non-threatening impression and rather avoid attracting challengers, so I can relate to the basic sentiment of the description. But then I also have a 9-fix, so...
 

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@Arya
That's a decent point. I wouldn't say I'm as friendly and warm as the self-preservation 6 is described but I probably do give off a more harmless/non-threatening impression and rather avoid attracting challengers, so I can relate to the basic sentiment of the description. But then I also have a 9-fix, so...
I'm probably not either. I mean I'm not an extrovert for one so I do maintain distance from people. But I do consider myself to be fairly nice/kind to people and I certainly don't show much aggression. I tend to take people aside if they bother me enough and talk to them in a friendly way about why I don't appreciate what they're doing. And I've had enough people tell me how innocent I am to know I give that vibe.
 
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