[curious0610]

I think this is something i've been seeing in other INFJs as well as myself... that we really prize self reliance and being able to take care of ourselves. i think sometimes we get overwhelmed with loneliness (ive seen a few threads here, including my own), but other than those occasions, we like to be self reliant.,

Self reliance = the practice of being dependent only on yourself, and being able to care for yourself in any situation. for me, this means, when i am sick, i will make my own food/take appropriate medicine. i never let anyone buy anything or do something for me, unless they spring it on me, then i graciously accept. it means when i need to study for something huge, i prefer to rely on my own knowledge/studying rather than study guides produced by others. sometimes, study guides can help... and i will use them, but only after i've done my own studying and have made sure the study guide is correct. it means.. not letting others IRL see my weaknesses or anything to suggest i need to rely on them.. even if i share something im struggling with, i only share it if i can share it with them without feeling reliant on them for emotional feedback.. it means, being able to financially support myself and buy my own things.. and im sure theres more examples.

what are your thoughts on this? what are some things u have noticed about urself?

 

[yellowbritt]

I, too, am very self-reliant. Some of my friends are bothered by that. Something will happen to me and when they find out, they want to know why I didn't ask for help. For me, I think part of it comes from my self-doubt. I always feel so pleased when I prove to myself that I can do whatever it takes. I spend so much time second guessing myself, and if I do happen to rely on someone else, then sometimes I begin to feel dependent, or worry that I'm too reliant on them.

 

[Hokahey]

I think this is something i've been seeing in other INFJs as well as myself... that we really prize self reliance and being able to take care of ourselves. i think sometimes we get overwhelmed with loneliness (ive seen a few threads here, including my own), but other than those occasions, we like to be self reliant.,

Self reliance = the practice of being dependent only on yourself, and being able to care for yourself in any situation. for me, this means, when i am sick, i will make my own food/take appropriate medicine. i never let anyone buy anything or do something for me, unless they spring it on me, then i graciously accept. it means when i need to study for something huge, i prefer to rely on my own knowledge/studying rather than study guides produced by others. sometimes, study guides can help... and i will use them, but only after i've done my own studying and have made sure the study guide is correct. it means.. not letting others IRL see my weaknesses or anything to suggest i need to rely on them.. even if i share something im struggling with, i only share it if i can share it with them without feeling reliant on them for emotional feedback.. it means, being able to financially support myself and buy my own things.. and im sure theres more examples.

what are your thoughts on this? what are some things u have noticed about urself?

Yes, I feel exactly this same way. Not sure how much more I can add to this honestly. Maybe, I never have to rely on anyone or anything to supply the entertainment for me when I go out with friends, because even if I *have* to go out with friends and have what they consider *fun* and to me it's not, I can make due and have my own fun, and can adapt to any situation.

 

[ertertwert]

I agree with what has already been posted.

 

[PaulH]

I tend towards trying to be self relient (in a stubborn way) At work this can be tough - I will try to figure things out for myself when I really should be getting an expert involved.

 

[Daveman]

Hey, it's me. I'm here to go against the flow, of course. :wink:

I can rely on myself to be trapped in Ni-mode in no matter what I'm doing, if I am too far removed from other people.

I have trouble using Se. So, if I got sick, I could not JUST do the things you listed. For example, if I had to make my own food, I would think about something entirely different while I was making it. I would not be in the "here and now". The closest I get to that is when I'm around other people, and in those moments I use Fe a lot. So, it's almost like I don't exist in the "real world" when I'm by myself. I exist in Daveworld.

In Daveworld, I think about things that I have done or will do in the real world, but the more time I spend there, the less time I actually spend doing these things that are on my mind.

I have spent too much time in solitude in my life. Introvert or not, it is not good for me. Of course, I HAVE to have solitude from time to time, but I can't be a hermit, nor do I want to be. I think of solitude as mainly being a time of preperation for when I am not in solitude- except for the times when I'm reading a book or watching a movie- that's basically what it is for me. Even listening to music seems to be preperation. That has a way of turning my thoughts into some kind of weird, abstract music video, and in this video, other people are reacting to my thoughts and actions.

 

[ertertwert]

I enjoy being a hermit as it forces me to focus on learning. I learn best at my own pace, hence the internet is god. Also, reading books can be pretty enlightening. I would go outside if there were people worth talking to, but sadly in my small town of 1000 people, 85% of them are in their 50's and up.

 

[Daveman]

I enjoy being a hermit as it forces me to focus on learning. I learn best at my own pace, hence the internet is god. Also, reading books can be pretty enlightening. I would go outside if there were people worth talking to, but sadly in my small town of 1000 people, 85% of them are in their 50's and up.

Same here.

I have learned a lot by myself, but I've grown tired of complexities. I want to enjoy the simple things that life has to offer.

Being intellegent is not worth the price of being miserable, and I must say that I'm happier around other people. I just feel like I'm DOING more.

I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have are great when they're not busy. Since I don't have a job, I must admit that I have spent a lot of time with my grandmother and my dog latley. I go places and run errands a lot, but I don't get to know other people during those times, so I can sort of be on autopilot and use Ni during these moments.

When I see the dog, I use Fe like crazy....such a good girl. roud:

 

[Resolution]

It'd seem that we INFJs are very independent creatures.

Maybe it's because we are such a small % of the population and march by the beat of a different drummer.

Maybe our INFJ-ness was prompted by early-childhood independence. In any case... we are very bottled up with our Ni... but our Fe does represent our longing to break from our shell and connect from time to time as independent as we may be.

 

[Daveman]

It'd seem that we INFJs are very independent creatures.

Maybe it's because we are such a small % of the population and march by the beat of a different drummer.

Maybe our INFJ-ness was prompted by early-childhood independence. In any case... we are very bottled up with our Ni... but our Fe does represent our longing to break from our shell and connect from time to time as independent as we may be.

You may make a case that many of us are more or less independent as long as nothing is bothering us.

Note how many of us post on here when we are stressed, including the OP who considers herself to be self-relient.

 

[mllesentiment]

hmm I always thought my self-reliance was because I was the middle child. In my family's culture the middle female is pretty much the mother's right hand woman and has to be able to know how to do everything and take care of everyone. It's made me very maternal and able to sustain myself very well. Never thought that had anything to do with my infj-ness but I've learned to let people do some things for me as to not offend them. Other than that I take care of myself and prefer to do so.

 

[Introspiritual]

Being intellegent is not worth the price of being miserable, and I must say that I'm happier around other people. I just feel like I'm DOING more.

Apologies for bringing up this old topic again, but are you sure you aren't an ENFJ? Your early posts especially really seemed to illustrate the ENFJ "teacher" aspect of things, and ENFJs tend to wilt if away from others for too long. The ENFJs I know get stuck in Ni, very unsure of themselves, and often become depressed when that happens.

Not trying to offend, just after some insight. :happy:

 

[Daveman]

Apologies for bringing up this old topic again, but are you sure you aren't an ENFJ? Your early posts especially really seemed to illustrate the ENFJ "teacher" aspect of things, and ENFJs tend to wilt if away from others for too long. The ENFJs I know get stuck in Ni, very unsure of themselves, and often become depressed when that happens.

Not trying to offend, just after some insight. :happy:

No, I'm just a different subtype or ennegram from some of the people on this forum.

I know that I often repeat myself on here. I'm going to try to think of something more creative to say.

I must say that I would almost convert to ENFJ, if I could. I think the defining difference is that Ti comes easier than Se. Other than that fact, I can very much relate to the ENFJ.

*edit- Or it might be that I just have to recharge the battery- though I use Fe in such a way that I can get energy that way. Ni feels like a conservation of energy, whereas Fe feels like...I don't know...sometimes "comedic energy", I guess. I have to joke around in conversations in order to make them interesting for the extroverts I know.

When I communicate on the forum, I can either do that or be Mr. Intellectual. Go figure. It's a weird life I live.