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I'm very new so I apologize if this question is annoying- I do not know much about different personalities. I just want to know if something is typical of my personality or if it's just me.

I work in service, new to management, when things get crazy on my shift, for one reason or another, mostly having to do with crew improperly doing their jobs, Everything gets in disharmony, orders that are supposed to be filled in a certain amount of time are either filled way later or incorrectly, and I end up having to deal with angry customers. It slowly builds up, and people keep coming in and orders keep getting backed up until I can't take it anymore, it's like how I feel has everything to do with whats going on around me and all the disharmony I can't handle, today it got to the point where I just cry and want to run and hide and I can't help it (of course i can't do that) but I did cry luckily it was towards the end of my shift and the next manager let me go. I'm fine mentally, but it's like the more the disharmony grows inside me I can't handle the stress the more stressed I become the worse it gets.

I wanted to know if other INFJs cry often or if there's something wrong with me because when ever I get really really stressed I cry, I even cry thinking about or talking about stressful situations, like I can feel the complete intensity of the situation as if it is happening right now again just by me recalling it.:crying:
 

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I used to cry frequently when I was younger. I grew up in a chaotic household, and was often lonely. I used to cry almost daily. I am pretty detached now and do not really cry.

I can relate very well to the frustration you experience in such situations. Disharmony and chaos do a similar thing to me, If I am required to deal with them. Being in the military, esp. basic training, helped me deal with such situations better, and to not get overwhelmed. Still though, even a tiny bit of disharmony in my life, even in the background, will often breed discord.
 

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No, i doubt there's anything wrong with you MM. Sounds like it gets incredibly stressful and your reaction is pretty normal.

I don't think this is strongly related to personality type, just relates to being human! Though some people (and probably some types) are more vulnerable to stress than others.

If i'm reading you right you're new to this role so it may be you'll get more used to it? get more skilled in it?

I don't cry much. I went through a very bad patch last year and cried a few times but in general I rarely cry.
 

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No, nothing is wrong with you. It's perfectly normal to cry when faced with an overwhelming situation such as yours. I would probably do the same thing when faced with your crazy shift at work. I know I would cry because I would feel utterly helpless to stop the mayhem, and yet the mayhem would keep closing in on all sides. Suddenly reality would become too much. There would be too many things everywhere, and I would need to escape.

Maybe you need to set up a system in place that allows you to get away from the chaos, assess the situation, and form an approach that will make sure everyone gets their job done. You're obviously going to manage different from other managers, so you have to find a style that works for you. INFJs just aren't naturally very good at thinking on their feet and operating in a very reactive environment. We're always going to need to back up, look at everything, and THEN we'll go in and fix everything. But we'll always need that pause to assess the entire situation and quickly draft an approach.
 

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I would be exactly the same as you and I do think that it has a lot to do with being an INFJ.

When, in the past, I have tried customer service-type jobs I have ended up being very upset at the end of the day whereas my co-workers seemed to be fine. I think it is because when other people are angry or upset we absorb the feelings as if they are our own and we can't separate our own feelings from theirs. Also, as @Kyrielle said, INFJs need time to pause and think and strategise. If there isn't any time available for that, then I would find that really frustrating if I were in your shoes.

Do you think in the long term you would be able to change career? Us INFJs have a lot of unique talents and I think it is important to find a job that makes use of them. I have tried out a lot of different jobs over the last 20 years and then finally found something that matched my interests and skills. I really love my field of work now but it took a lot of trial and error and changes to find it.
 

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It may very well be related to being an INFJ or at least an introvert. I know two INFJ's who would get easily overwhelmed by those kinds of things as well. My ENFJ husband would always try to cheer them up and look at things in a different way. They eventually just had to get another job because they were allowing it to bring them down so much.

I can only imagine what being in that sort of position would be like. I'm sure I would have a similar reaction.
 

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It's perfectly normal. We feel so deeply and channel others stress, so we react stronger also. Not only that, but you are an introvert and to many people tax our reserves and we react stronger.

This is the exact reason I took up running after work each day(alone). I come home and run a few miles and you know what? It gets totally rid of all the stress. I sweat, and sometimes I cry or swear, and I run faster and faster. This is what has helped me the most. I work as a Rehab Therapist.
 

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I've never been one for crying - I've cried 3 times in my adult life; two of those occasions were putting a family pet 'to sleep' because they were old and ill :(

Me? I get angry. Less so these days as I've learned (or am learning) to control my impulses, but yeah... things would get thrown across the office, equipment would be destroyed, doors would be kicked, etc etc. It isn't a nice side of me but as I say, I'm finally getting it under control now.

I'd say getting upset in the clearly stressful environment you depict is justified.
 

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Mary, darling:

RUN, don't walk, RUN from that job. If you are an INFJ, it will kill you. Do not think there is something wrong with you, there is something wrong with you and that job. You have not failed. Some people thrive on that kind of atmosphere -- they love the troubleshooting, the action, the drama. But if you are crying every night your body is telling you: Get the f*ck out.

I realize that may not be possible due to the economy or whatever, but please, for your sake. work toward something different. Then you can comfort yourself with the thought that it is only temporary.

PS I cry easily too. I'm very empathic, so it's easy to feel others pain, but also, I am learning to allow myself to feel angry, so often, instead of expressing anger/frustration I cry. But I'm getting better at it as I get older and gain more perspective (I watched my mother die of lung cancer, so when I feel overwhelmed, I think to myself, well, at least.....But that is not to invalidate your feelings.They are real. And they are telling you what to do. Listen.

PS @killerB Love your profile pic.
 

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^^^ What she said.

Yeah that job seems too stressful. See if you can find something else.

I cry for really bizarre reasons sometimes. Sometimes when I'm thankful for things. Actually that's usually when I cry. When I sort of realize that I can forgive my shortcomings and that what I have is good.
 

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I'm not positive that your emotional reaction is directly tied to you being an INFJ, but I do agree with @TragicallyHip...if you are an INFJ, this job does not sound right for you.

I was in a service job for about a year and a half. I had a customer say to me over the headset once that I was a "freaking idiot." I walked into the back and proceeded to cry and shake for the next ten minutes or so.
I left work crying countless times.
Service jobs are rough. They're fast paced, stressful, and, let's face it, people are jerks. There are so many horrible people out there who treat workers in service jobs as if they are second class citizens. I'm getting really angry writing this, actually, so I'm going to move on.

It might not be practical to find another job right now, but I suggest you start looking. What do you love? What do you really want to do? What will make you feel fulfilled?
There's not going to be a job out there that is perfect. But some of us just aren't emotionally shaped for jobs like these. That's totally fine. Find something you love doing, and then go do it.

You won't regret it.
 

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Mary, darling:

RUN, don't walk, RUN from that job. If you are an INFJ, it will kill you. Do not think there is something wrong with you, there is something wrong with you and that job. You have not failed. Some people thrive on that kind of atmosphere -- they love the troubleshooting, the action, the drama. But if you are crying every night your body is telling you: Get the f*ck out.

I realize that may not be possible due to the economy or whatever, but please, for your sake. work toward something different. Then you can comfort yourself with the thought that it is only temporary.

PS I cry easily too. I'm very empathic, so it's easy to feel others pain, but also, I am learning to allow myself to feel angry, so often, instead of expressing anger/frustration I cry. But I'm getting better at it as I get older and gain more perspective (I watched my mother die of lung cancer, so when I feel overwhelmed, I think to myself, well, at least.....But that is not to invalidate your feelings.They are real. And they are telling you what to do. Listen.
I found it interesting that you said that you are now allowing yourself to feel anger. My husband works the same job as I do at a different store however, when he gets in those situations he gets angry and yells at the crew to do their jobs properly. I try to let myself get angry but I just get hurt, My managing technique is mostly that I express how badly I want them to do something in order to inspire them to want to please me and make me happy, only problem with this is that instead of pushing and working harder when it gets busy they slack and know that I will understand their frustration and not write them up for their poor performance because it was hectic and busy.
-I am currently trying to allow myself to express my anger/ frustration I don't get angry- I just become hurt I may be switching to over night shifts, because they tend to not be as hectic....i'll just have to deal with all the drunks
 

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r.

This is the exact reason I took up running after work each day(alone). I come home and run a few miles and you know what? It gets totally rid of all the stress. I sweat, and sometimes I cry or swear, and I run faster and faster. This is what has helped me the most. I work as a Rehab Therapist.
YES! I escape, and that is about the only time I am: a. in my body, present, b. in that moment - since I can't do anything else at that time, I just relax and go as hard as I can.

Then comes the paintbrushes! :blushed:
 

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This reminds me of the time I did my college thesis. From where I come from, we create a thesis for our bachelor's degree in groups (around groups of 4-7 students I believe). Being the leader and possessing many of the basic skills needed to conduct such studies, I didn't have a problem pulling most of the things such as gathering related literature, organizing the data, building up on each sections, and defending the thesis. We can generally consult with any of our professors who're skilled in doing these things just to have them point us in the right direction if we needed it. I did most of the work (which is a failure on my part as a leader and manager), but I didn't really mind it.

Towards the end of the semester, all we had to do was to make the necessary corrections for typos, etc... However I was handling other things at the moment, and I really really counted on my groupmates to pull me out of that mess. What got to me however was that they were not there for me when I needed them; and they were still not there for me at that moment. I was just so stressed and I saw how the other groups in my class were working together to get the job done. I just broke down crying and one of my male classmates (he's homosexual and I have nothing against that) came to try his best to comfort me by telling me it'd turn out alright. That moment was touching for me; and perhaps necessary because I had fallen into a mode of thinking that was self-defeating and self-hating. I was able to snap out of it and I did what I had to do.

Such situations have forced me to take on the burden of things myself and not rely on other people. I shut out other people in my life when I have great undertakings and I try to bear it all myself. I'm afraid I'll experience the same sort of pain if I rely on others to get my out of a mess.
 

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I too do not know if this is INFJ related. I do not cry much at all. To be honest, I am just not a very feely type person overall despite having the capacity to become really passioniate and emotional at certain times. In that kind of environment, I would probably come alive in a way and start looking for a structured way to make things run more smoothly. I used to work in a stressful environment with an ENFP, I think my Fe makes me like dealing with complex customer service environments but she would break down and cry a lot when things got stressful while I secretly was quite excited by the situation (probably Se related also) and very annoyed by her constant crying after the first couple of times trying to comfort her.



Anyway, the job does not seem right for you so in the interest of your mental health and profesionalism it might be best to leave it.
 

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I have felt the cry emotion quite a bit. I have learned to suppress it. I get emotional but I generally handle these situations well at the time and then gone home and let go...
 
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