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Hello 
Basically, I'm looking for some advice on how to cure myself of severe anxiety. I've suffered with this since I was about 10 (I'm now 19) and I've tried various things, like meditation and I've changed my diet a few times. I do lots of walking, so it's not to do with lack of exercise and I have a pretty decent life.
Yet, I'm always stressed. Always. I don't remember the last time I felt fully calm. There's always some worry going on in the back of my mind. Most if it relates to failing and some of it is irrational stuff about people dying or bad things happening.
The irrational stuff I think comes from a string of several bad things happening (namely several people I know and love dying in a row), but the failure thing I can't explain.
I get very tense, especially when I have work to do (I'm in university). For some reason, I feel I have to get a First in my first year (completely pointless as it's not carried over to my final grade) or I'll be a failure. I do work early most of the time and try very hard with revision, even though I get good grades without trying as hard. I get very upset if I do poorly (which is anything below 65% for me) and I work myself very hard.
I know this comes from people thinking of me as 'the smart one' since I was very young. I've always done pretty well in school (got above average grades with no effort in Secondary school and when I worked a bit harder in college, I got very good grades). I guess I have issues with identity - that's the only way I've ever been solidly defined. I'm called 'nice' and stuff, but never as often as smart.
I guess I feel like if I failed at something ever (even if it was completely unimportant) I'd no longer have an identity, or something people would identify me as. I'm not very good socially (I'm not inappropriate or anything, but I'm very shy and have social anxiety).
I get nervous over very small things and constantly second-guess myself (so much so, I actually lost marks on a test, because I didn't trust myself to know the right answer).
Ugh, that's a pretty long post and I'm not really sure where I'm going with it. I guess I would just really like some advice on how to get over this fear of failure. I want to be happy and no longer stressed out.
Thank you in advance for any replies.
Basically, I'm looking for some advice on how to cure myself of severe anxiety. I've suffered with this since I was about 10 (I'm now 19) and I've tried various things, like meditation and I've changed my diet a few times. I do lots of walking, so it's not to do with lack of exercise and I have a pretty decent life.
Yet, I'm always stressed. Always. I don't remember the last time I felt fully calm. There's always some worry going on in the back of my mind. Most if it relates to failing and some of it is irrational stuff about people dying or bad things happening.
The irrational stuff I think comes from a string of several bad things happening (namely several people I know and love dying in a row), but the failure thing I can't explain.
I get very tense, especially when I have work to do (I'm in university). For some reason, I feel I have to get a First in my first year (completely pointless as it's not carried over to my final grade) or I'll be a failure. I do work early most of the time and try very hard with revision, even though I get good grades without trying as hard. I get very upset if I do poorly (which is anything below 65% for me) and I work myself very hard.
I know this comes from people thinking of me as 'the smart one' since I was very young. I've always done pretty well in school (got above average grades with no effort in Secondary school and when I worked a bit harder in college, I got very good grades). I guess I have issues with identity - that's the only way I've ever been solidly defined. I'm called 'nice' and stuff, but never as often as smart.
I guess I feel like if I failed at something ever (even if it was completely unimportant) I'd no longer have an identity, or something people would identify me as. I'm not very good socially (I'm not inappropriate or anything, but I'm very shy and have social anxiety).
I get nervous over very small things and constantly second-guess myself (so much so, I actually lost marks on a test, because I didn't trust myself to know the right answer).
Ugh, that's a pretty long post and I'm not really sure where I'm going with it. I guess I would just really like some advice on how to get over this fear of failure. I want to be happy and no longer stressed out.
Thank you in advance for any replies.