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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Does an ENFJ know when they connect with someone and more importantly to my situ..Do they know that the other part feels the same way they do, is it instinctive? Do you doubt at times that it may have been true or that the feeling WAS in fact mutual and that you may have just been idealising the relationship and imagining it all?

The connection has been kind of severed for a number of reasons but im just curious as to how your mind works when you feel a connection with someone then hurt gets involved and it all becomes a bit of a mess...

Ta Muchly :)
Pie x
 
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Well ENFJ's will normally try to make relationships work at almost any cost. When we do that, we will give up on said relationship because we are worn out or believe we have lost and its time to walk away. My current relationship issues haven't and honestly can't push me away but, I am tested and taxed.
 

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When the issues are my fault, or I feel like the issue was my fault:

I will try to fix any and all relationship issues with anyone, especially those I have a connection with, as soon as I become aware of them. If that doesn't work, I'll try harder. If that doesn't work, I will pull away and give the other person their space because I don't want to upset them with my presence, and hope they will get over it and forgive me.

When the issues are someone else's fault:

I will be very upfront about the issue, and try to get them to fix it or stop doing whatever caused it. But, once they've finally pushed me too far, that's it, they're fired until they fix it. I would also like to point out that I will give multiple chances in proportion to how important the relationship is to me, and how unimportant the issue is. For example, if I have a really strong connection with someone, it will take something very drastic for me to not give extra chances.

Most often, issues I have in relationships stem from people deliberately offending my ideals when they are aware of them, or someone being extremely selfish or an otherwise bad person. When someone manages to do all three of these things at the same time they are insta-fired... again until they prove they understand what they did wrong and will not do this again.

I'm currently dealing with this exact situation. I have an ENTJ friend who would not stop being domineering and adversarial with me. We were very close, but she wouldn't stop, even after I repeatedly told her that if she didn't we were done. One day she pushed me too far, and that was it. I'm open to her being in my life as soon as she can show me she won't act like that anymore, but so far she has only done the opposite by being adversarial and demanding about my decision to not have her in my life.

If you've upset an ENFJ friend, you might want to ask them if you've done anything to upset them. Even if you did, the ENFJ is likely to just brush it off because we don't want to make things worse. Be sincere and mention that you're afraid you might have done something to damage your connection and if possible you want to fix it - and for an ENFP here's the most important part - don't defend yourself when they finally open up and tell you. Don't fight for your right to do whatever caused your ENFJ to be so upset. That will only bolster your ENFJ's feelings. Instead just agree and apologize, and then you'll have your ENFJ back immediately, and you will be completely forgiven (unless you do it again... and at that point... yikes).
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Well i suppose it was deliberate, but not to hurt his feeling, maybe he just realises i can't give everything i have at the moment, even though there was a connection...iritating, but how strong if he realises that but still strong enough to walk away...hopefully strong enough for second chances too....deep rooted affection and bad timing...

Thank you all, he never confronted the issue but simply said he didn't know when asked about meeting up again....he just doesn't know what to do....he's very indecisive anyway, i suppose its just that

Peace n that

Pie x
 
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