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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I've been swanning in self-analysis lately and have been rapidly discovering more and more about myself every day. This requires elaboration, so bear with me.

I have always been aware of the distinct difference between me and my inferiors, peers, and superiors. To put it simply, I am the quintessential black sheep. However, what the quintessential black sheep lacks, I carry in abundance: apathy. And not only apathy, but severe apathy. Only now am I finally dissecting this ubiquitous aspect of my life and I've realized a few things and these few things follow.

1) First and foremost, I've realized the extent of my apathy and -- more importantly -- my apathetic reaction to my apathy's rapid progression. I am aware that I am severely apathetic. I am aware that it has become a hindrance and gives rise to quite a bit of conflict. However, I have no will to rectify it. In fact, I'm perfectly content with allowing it to worsen. Even if, already, I can very easily live without family or friends and, when someone I know dies, I feel nothing.

2) Secondly: this apathy has cleared a path for an equally as unorthodox perspective (or, perhaps it's the other way around), which I involuntarily (but not unhappily) apply to everything that passes through my optical nerve. I see everything around me with technical eyes. Despite my vivid (and when I say vivid, I mean vivid) imagination, I see humans -- essentially -- as machines. I see the entire world as a machine to be studied in all of its facets and only once I've achieved full-competence of what is known about this perplexing world will I be able to discover the next puzzle pieces. This has become my life aspiration. This is what I relentlessly strive for. (Relate me to Tesla; I want to discover the unknown and am very confident that I will someday. After all, I'm only 17). And in my pursuit, I see everything as nothing more than a perfectly assembled puzzle which I have yet to fully understand.

I work well in EMS because, when faced with trauma, I see a maimed body as a tarnished machine. For example: when observing a laceration through an artery, I saw the wound as simply a matter of: the cells were separated, the human body bleeds when its outermost membrane is severed, and even more so when more layers of the dermis are severed, and if I want to prevent this person from losing too much blood -- as blood, along with many other proteins and vitamins and such that the blood carries, is very integral to the overall functioning machine... then I must stop the bleeding. And to do so, I apply pressure to the wound. If applying pressure does not fix this issue, then cutting off circulation to the limb will and applying a tourniquet will save this machine from being unusable.

With the ability to detect the patterns in nearly everything, it's very easy for me to recognize how things 'work', if they're 'working' well, if they need to be improved, how to go about improving them, ect. Very quintessential INTJ thought processes which translate into this technical perspective. Which, consequently, leads me to the theory that this apathy is a downfall but also an enhancer of our personality and does not require any resolve.

3) Thirdly: among those who I can observe around me, I've noticed that this attribute is extremely unorthodox. Even mild apathy holds great idiosyncrasy. I put on a front, more often than not, because I know that if I want to keep even a pathetic social life afloat, it's very necessary that I not wholly and unyieldingly embrace this viewpoint. I will consciously slip into as "feeling" a viewpoint as I possibly can (which is never very successful; I'm awful with emotions and my lack of empathy doesn't help much either) until it exhausts me so thoroughly, it's no longer worth it to me to keep it up. Often times, when presenting my ideas to others, I recognize how they will respond before I say what comes to mind and will filter myself to not sound so unorthodox, but essentially sacrifice providing my receiver with an adequate understanding of the concept I'm expressing. This is something I practice, especially, with more S, F, SF, and NF types.

My request, now, then is for you to humor me. Can any of you relate? Or am I just insane? And, please, do not refrain from elaborating on your own experiences and perspectives, even if they are on the other side of the spectrum in relation to mine.
 

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Well here's some elaboration for you.

Apathy: You'll find a better explanation for that in the Enneagram than you will in MBTI. Yes INTJs can be very apathetic but it has nothing to do with INTJ. The reasons are many and varied but again enneagram is probably a better place for you to start with that one.

You're 17: It's quite normal for people in their late teens to be questioning the world, common views and to stumble upon a world view that they think is uniquely their own. Further research usually reveals it's quite common but hey, that's what college is for.

Black Sheep/Special Snowflake: All quite common in your age group. Many a teen confesses exactly the same thing. It's a life stage thing too. The child is now becoming the adult that requires a certain level of pushback, often experienced as rejecting of that which you see around you. It's called individuation, very normal process that everyone goes through.

None of this was meant as humour.
 

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Emotions are our motivation. Your analyzing of your own unfeeling concerning many aspects of your life shows an interest in it, and so a a passion concerning ypur dispassilnate state.

Think about what you're apathetic towards and why it concerns you. And the possible reasons why you may have so little emotional response towards them.

In my experience it is usually a way to avoid painful emotions, But that comes at the cost of the pleasant ones.
 

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some of this sounds to me like what depression/traumatic dissociation felt like.
 
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It does sound like you might be disassociating from stress, or repressing it and other negative emotions.
 

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Very eloquent.

However, as people have said, apathy can appear in all MBTI groups and is not exclusive to the INTJ subtype. While being apathetic may work as a stop-gap against bad emotions, it will rush out in full force if enough pressure is applied to it. It's important to release a bit of emotion a little at a time - a problem for the more stoic, introverted MBTI groups...
 

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I agree with the above posts. In addition, apathy can be a reaction to long-term stress or to bad situations that cannot be escaped. If you can't fix a situation, simply ceasing to care is a survival strategy. The only times I have felt deeply apathetic were in situations like that. I just emotionally withdrew from all of it.
 
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