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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I would like to know how many of you prefer sex before marriage and how many prefer after marriage. I don't mind sex before marriage as far as she is going to by my life partner. Whats are your opinion?

Edit - I'm not allowed to edit my thread - Tittle, so its SEX not SEC
 

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I don't care when you have it, have it whenever you like (within reason of course, no pedophilia please).

Note that I don't mean "you" specifically, it's the proverbial "you" referring to the reader of this post.
 

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I don't believe in magic or fairy tales, nor do I see a point in following pointless traditional religious/societal norms, so I'm going to have sex with any sufficient and willing mate. I'm not for one night stands, but if I'm into a woman on a physical and personal level, I don't see why I have to declare my lifelong dedication to her before having sex. With that said, I'm now married to a woman and she will be the only one for the rest of my life. I believe in monogamy since it strengthens our relationship and family.
 

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Har! Love that answer, drea.

To your question, kmama...a girlfriend recently confided in me that she and her 1st husband only had sex once (on their wedding night) in the seven years they lasted. Turns out they had exactly zero sexual compatibility.

Everyone must answer this question for themselves. For me "once in 7 yrs" is just a tad too infrequent.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Har! Love that answer, drea.

To your question, kmama...a girlfriend recently confided in me that she and her 1st husband only had sex once (on their wedding night) in the seven years they lasted. Turns out they had exactly zero sexual compatibility.

Everyone must answer this question for themselves. For me "once in 7 yrs" is just a tad too infrequent.
Don't you feel its too much for anyone to control. I mean how can you guys control over yourself, its difficult to believe that one couple couldn't sex for last 7 years. God! ask her why she don't allow you confirm that she's with you only or not.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Oops...I've aged out of this forum. Never mind the older gal! :blushed:
Old Generations are not to be allowed in Generation Y, so stay in your area. :tongue:

My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. Nine years and three kids later, our sex life gets better and better every night. :blushed:
Happy married & sexual life. :laughing:
 

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I think virginity is something very special to preserve, perhaps not until marriage, but definitely until you find a very very special person that you are positive deserves it. You get your virginity once, and if its given to the wrong person you may or may not regret it, but I find that theres probably nothing better I could give to a guy to show my complete dedication to him than that which I've denied any other guy I've had a relationship with.

I claim abstinence for this reason and more personal reasons, and I would very much like for my virginity to last until my wedding night and thus that is where my goal is.

Beyond being a symbol of dedication, it also proves willpower, self restraint, and discipline.

On the flip side, I'm not at all opposed to others being sexually open or to have more pansexual tendencies; to me its a personal inner conflict as well as a personal goal that shouldn't be pushed onto others of different mindframes or opinions
:proud:
 

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The question of 'sex before marriage' is an artificial problem created by the prevalence of religiously inspired thinking in society.

This question has always irked me big time. How does anyone define marriage? It seems to me that as soon as you enter into marriage you are following someone else's definition of an official bond between people. That someone else may be a church denomination or it may be the government, but it sure as hell is not mine. Marriage in that sense, to me, is such an artificial moment.

Having said that, in order to seal a bond I agree that having some kind of official confirmation can be emotionally very important. That fact should not be underestimated, no matter your views on the institution of marriage itself.
But to me it is never what defines a relationship. A relationship defines itself, I need no tools or crutches to lean on.

And should you believe in God and in 'holy matrimony', do you really believe God needs an intermediary to sign off on the bond between two of His subjects?
 

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Frequently, often. Before and after.

Even the fairly religious people I know in my cool gen had sex before marriage.

Whatevs makes you happy though I guess!
 

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A while ago, I would have said sex after marriage in a heartbeat...but I will say that if I'm with someone that I love very very much and things happens before marriage, so be it. As long as it's with someone that's special to me.
 

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A while ago, I would have said sex after marriage in a heartbeat...but I will say that if I'm with someone that I love very very much and things happens before marriage, so be it. As long as it's with someone that's special to me.
I was about to post this, thank you for getting to it first. :happy:

Marriage is a legal and sometimes religious agreement. Signing a paper is irrelevant but there needs to be a strong connection there and not just sex for it's own sake. My perverted side hates me for thinking that...
 

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Has to be with someone you care about, but not necessarily after marriage. Not for me, anyway. : )
 

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After. Even without the religion, my choice would not be different. What can I say, I am a hopeless romantic. If I succeed I have everything to gain. If I were to compromise, that would negate my purpose. In other words, that would be just as useless as failing completely. But I believe God has a destiny, so long-term failure is not a possibility to begin with.

And should you believe in God and in 'holy matrimony', do you really believe God needs an intermediary to sign off on the bond between two of His subjects?
There are no specifications in the bible. You do need to be married, but its not a requirement to follow tradition or even have a holy man marry you. First marriage in the bible:

Gen. 2:18, 21-24

The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'...and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.

Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh

That being said, I do see a ritual as important, as this commitment a very serious thing, and should be brought out under everyone's eyes, not just two people. I will just go through with the traditional marriage. Will make things less complicated with the SJs. But wedding will have some crazy twist to it (see Bam's wedding).
 
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