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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I want to hear mostly from demisexuals and asexuals about this but anyone can respond, I don't mind. :)

I am not aroused by looking at someone's naked body, female or male, unless it is the one I am in love with. What does it mean if I become aroused by watching a sex scene in a movie, then? When it happens, I think about making love with my boyfriend, not about how the couple looks, or the way they make love, but I have this idea of being close with my S.O. and it arouses me. Is this normal for demisexuals to experience?
 

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demisexuals have sex drives. you can even masturbate and orgasm to porn, it's sensation based. that doesn't mean you desire to have sex with those people, rather it means you seek the sensation
 

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The fact that you're seeing people have sex, makes your brain fire mirror neurons. Google it :) you'll understand!
 

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Asexual. Sex scenes in movies and TV shows bore the hell out of me. They are mostly there just for the sake of including sex scenes. They are unnecessary and boring.

If there's a character development or it's done artistically, I really love them. For example, Enter the Void has a very interesting sex scene. Under the Skin has one of the most beautiful implied abstract sex scenes. But they aren't arousing cuz they are done very unrealistically.

I prefer porn lol
 

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If I was to make hypothesis about the way my attraction/arousal works it would be divided into several brain centers each reacting to different signs and with different intensity and quality of the feeling.
The attraction than works a little bit like a puzzle where combination of the right pieces creates the attraction at different levels.

No to go into much detail I would say that kissing scene showing believable emotional affection is more interesting to me than most sex scenes. It arouses the brain centers that are more sensitive in me and may turn to sexual arousal the roundabout way (intuition, association, imagination).
Interesting face and expression attracts me more than naked body. But body language also matters I guess. If it all comes together - the better.

I prefer emotive pictures and artistic nudes over porn.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
If I was to make hypothesis about the way my attraction/arousal works it would be divided into several brain centers each reacting to different signs and with different intensity and quality of the feeling.
The attraction than works a little bit like a puzzle where combination of the right pieces creates the attraction at different levels.

No to go into much detail I would say that kissing scene showing believable emotional affection is more interesting to me than most sex scenes. It arouses the brain centers that are more sensitive in me and may turn to sexual arousal the roundabout way (intuition, association, imagination).
Interesting face and expression attracts me more than naked body. But body language also matters I guess. If it all comes together - the better.

I prefer emotive pictures and artistic nudes over porn.

Those are just pictures of women, not sex scenes.
 

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Those are just pictures of women, not sex scenes.
That is true.
1) I used this to vaguely illustrate my point that I think people prioritize different brain centers when it comes to attraction or curiosity in individuals of opposite sex. This has some relevance to demisexual's crush dynamics IMHO.
2) I don't think posting sex scenes is legal on the forum (at lest explicit).

If I am to speak within narow confines of sex scenes, I may give following example(s):
Game of Thrones:
Most interesting erotic scenes: Doreah's lesson to Daenerys (not really a sex), Robb Stark and Talisa (in books Jeyne Westerling). The rest were not really interesting to me.

I am discovering some interest in psychological ecchi manga.

If I make a short generalization it is rahter what happens in their heads than what happens with their bodies that makes it interesting to me.
 

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Demisexual here.

I tend to get very horny if:

I'm particularly invested in the characters, the story or the atmosphere.
It reminds me of something personal.
I'm watching it with my boyfriend, often following their example ;)
It play straight into my imagination/fantasies
I can project or perceive myself in their place with my own lover/an abstract ideal
It's some kind of "I might get caught" situation or feeling, even if it's fiction

Sex causes arousal in those who watch it, regardless of their orientation.
Sexual attraction is different as it's based on visual desires alone, something not enough for a demi's libido.

Seeing sexual situations helps you detect feelings and patterns or insert yourself in the situation, changing the people involved and stimulating both your fantasies, your sense, your sex drive and your feelings. With another person that you don't have a bond with, maybe a stranger, that's all there is. Just looks, no eroticism or stimulation. No intimate connection. Therefore it's all extremely different.

There's a reason why watching sex scenes with your significant other makes them even more erotic.
 

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Most movie sex scenes do nothing at all for me. I can watch them without feeling arousal or interest, and they seem very boring. The things that make sex scenes effective for me are that at least one of the characters is someone I can relate to in some manner, that the characters are shown beforehand to be meant for each other, to have strong feelings for each other, and to have overcome something challenging in order to finally be able to be together. Even in those cases, I wouldn't necessarily describe my feelings as arousal so much as identifying with their relief and satisfaction.

For example, in the movie "Like Water for Chocolate," I was emotionally affected by the scene where the main couple finally get to have sex freely as an expression of their lifelong love, without having to hide it, and without any of the previous restrictions that had prevented that love from being fully expressed in previous years. I was not turned on by it, but it certainly made me feel very grateful for being allowed to be in love, and there was something cathartic about seeing it, as a release of all of the tension caused by the really abusive (ESTJ?) mother's cruelty throughout the first part of the movie. I am someone whose main enemies in life have generally been very much like the movie's villain, so I was able to really put myself in the main character's place and imagine what it would feel like to have such a person as a constant fixture in one's life, and to be forbidden the one thing that was most wanted. Identifying with the main character made it easier to feel her relief intensely when she was released from that burden.

In the movie "Amelie," the implied sex scene that begins with other romantic touching was very emotionally powerful for me, again perhaps because the main character was someone I could relate to, who had overcome personal obstacles in order to finally express her love, and it represented the joining of soulmates who already felt a deep personal bond despite the protagonist's extreme shyness and her reluctance to admit her feelings to the person she had been learning about, watching, and falling deeply in love with from the moment she first realized his quirks and eccentric personality were just as charmingly unusual as her own. It had been shown earlier in the movie that the protagonist had never enjoyed sex before because of the lack of an emotional connection, suggesting that she may, herself, be a demisexual or somewhere closer to the demisexual end of the spectrum than the average person. The movie also revealed information indicating that the characters were likely destined to be together and had complementary childhood experiences such that they may have been perfectly shaped by their related struggles to be compatible.

There are movies where seeing an emotionally powerful relationship between characters who are meant to be together affects me in this manner far more than the sex scenes or scenes where sex is implied. When I watched "Frequencies," I felt the protagonist's desire for the woman he had loved since childhood, and was moved by the way he overcame obstacles in order to finally be with her after years of waiting. There was implied sex, but it was not the most moving scene for me. There were several scenes where seeing the intensity of his feelings for her expressed in other ways affected me more.
 
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I would also like to note that there is a connection between movies that inspire romantic feelings and movies that make me cry. In both cases, it is required that the protagonist have some kind of deep emotional attachment to another person. In movies that inspire romantic feelings, that person is usually a love interest, and the feeling reaches its culmination at the relief of seeing that person's love allowed to happen despite adversity or personal barriers.

In movies that make me cry, the connected person can be a love interest, but is not required to be. It can also involve a situation where a very lonely person has one very strong friendship with the only other character who accepts him/her completely or shares his/her strangeness/values, or a situation where a troubled or shy character forms a strong attachment to a mentor who is gentle enough to allow him/her to flourish (like the kinds of teachers I wished I had growing up.) When that attachment is allowed to be experienced, I feel deeply satisfied watching it because of how much of my life I spent feeling socially isolated and disconnected. It represents relief from one of my greatest sources of suffering. When that ideal bond is severed in some manner, by death, conflict, or separation, I feel that pain intensely, and usually cry imagining how it would have been if I had gotten what I needed when I was younger. What if I had been allowed just one very good friend during my most desperate time, and had that taken away from me?

Because of this, I cried when I saw "My Girl," when Vada breaks down at the funeral seeing her best friend in the coffin without his glasses, and "The Bridge to Terabithia," when Jesse finds out that his closest friend died while playing alone on the day when he did not invite her to come along with him, and "La Lengua de las Mariposas," when Moncho tries to mix personally meaningful words in with the curses he is forced to shout, to secretly let his teacher know that he isn't really rejecting him as the teacher is dragged away by Fascists for his political views.

Those types of movies always evoke strong feelings for me. I think I have a lot of personal issues around the idea of connecting with others, forming meaningful attachments, and being accepted, because of my childhood experiences with exclusion and bullying. While these types of scenes are intended to affect people, I think they hit me just a bit harder than they usually would, because that particular issue is so personal for me. Now that I am happily married, I suppose movies where someone loses a loving spouse that s/he has overcome obstacles to be with, would probably affect me especially strongly, because that is now one of my worst fears.
 
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I get very horny by watching a sex scene. Not because I get turned on by the people on the screen but by the act of. I think it's pretty normal.
 
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