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The Sexual Six -"Strength/Beauty" (Countertype)

The countertype of the Type Six subtypes, the Sexual Six is the most counterphobic Six, the one who turns against the passion of fear by assuming a stance of strength and intimidation. Instead of actively feeling fearful, these Sixes have an inner belief that when you are afraid, the best defense is a good offense. As Naranjo explains, anxiety in this Six is allayed by skill and readiness in the face of a possible attack. They often appear bold and even fierce. They go against danger assertively, and even aggressively, as a way of denying and coping with their (often unconscious) fear.

Through denying their feelings of fear to one extent or another, Sexual Sixes go against danger from a position of strength; therefore, they have a passion for searching for or securing a position of strength. And it's not just a strong character they seek, but the kind of strength that makes somebody else afraid-they want to assume a powerful enough to hold the enemy at a distance. These Sixes display a forcefulness that comes from no wanting to be weak, and they don't allow for weakness in themselves.

Sexual Sixes' strength is often physical. They may develop this physical strength through sports or exercise that serve to build muscles and make them feel strong in their bodies. They tend to have marked control over their bodies as a way of cultivating a sense of inner strength to guard against feeling the chaotic emotions associated with the release of rage or other impulses.

Theses Sixes also seek to be strong in terms of endurance; they seek to feel tough in the face of fatigue, oppression, humiliation, and pain. (In this aspect, they may resemble the Self-Preservation Four.) For the Sexual Six, strength is often directly connected to an illusion of independence and a sense of being able to remain "unscathed" by trouble. They may also have a feeling of being somehow "bad" inside, and their strength protects them from their own inner attacks on themselves.

Sexual Sixes have a need not just for strength but for intimidation. As Naranjo suggests, this expression of intimidation is very much the essence of the character; if they appear strong, they won't be attacked. While Naranjo explains that Ichazo's title for this subtype, "Strength/Beauty," originally meant "strength" in men and "beauty" in women, it may also be true that being beautiful is a source of strength in both male and female Sexual Sixes.

These characters walk around with the idea that anyone can become dangerous, so they do everything they can to not feel cheated, manipulated, taken advantage of, or attacked. If you are someone who thinks and feels this way, you need to be prepared to be strong and mount a resistance. That's why Sexual Sixes not only develop strength but also intimidations-in the service of resistances, of being prepared to scare someone off, rebel, or be contrary.

Sexual Sixes give off the impression that they could get violent with anybody at any time, but that doesn’t mean that they have no fear. It is precisely out of a sense of fear that their anticipation of an attack comes-there is a somewhat paranoid imagining of danger, a belief that anyone can turn into a threat. However, these Sixes usually do not look afraid; their visible character could hardly be called "fearful" from the outside.

In contrast to the Self-Preservation Six, who backs away from threats, the couterphobic Sexual Six tends to move toward risky situations, feeling a sense of safety in actually confronting danger rather than hiding from it or avoiding it. They convince themselves (and others) that they are not victims of fear; they are convinced that fear is an emotion that should be eliminated systemically.

Despite being aggressive as part of their effort to intimidate through strength, Sexual Sixes tend not to acknowledge their aggressive side and may not be aware of it-or at least of the intensity of it. Their aggression is expressed mostly in the social arena and not as much in their private lives, as they will usually have needed to develop some level of trust with those they are close to. They also tend to separate their emotions: aggression is disconnected from fear, and sex is disconnected from feelings of love and intimacy.

The fact that these Sixes regularly move against danger (or perceived danger) can, at times, give them the appearance of a rebel, a daredevil, a risk taker, an adrenaline junkie, or a troublemaker. In some cases, Sexual Sixes may be prone to megalomania or having a "hero complex." In their own way, they seek to be "good guys" to avoid being punished. They may have the illusion that they are spontaneous, but they tend not to be.

Sexual Sixes tend to be very contrarian: they always have an argument at hand to refute and contradict an opinion. Instead of thinking in terms of "best-case" or "worst-case" scenarios, they think in terms of contrarian scenarios-if the trend is for others to focus on the worst, they will focus on the best; but if everyone is focusing on the best, they will assert the worst.

Although they may seem certain in their assertiveness, Sexual Sixes may hold doubt in their minds for along time-doubting which road to take and so getting caught between choices. They often believe that there is only one truth, and they prefer concrete and pragmatic ideologies because they feel safe and allow control of the world. They fear making an error, and the consequences of doing so.

The Sexual Six can look like a Type Eight because both types can appear intimidating, strong, and powerful. However, in contrast to the Eight, who tends to be fearless, the Sexual Six is motivated by an underlying fear, even when they don't consciously feel it of show it. Also, while Eights like to create order, Sexual Sixes often like to disrupt order by stirring up trouble. Sexual Sixes can also look like Threes in that they are action-oriented, fast-moving, assertive, and hardworking. They differ from Threes, however, in that they have more paranoid fantasies and their assertiveness has its basis in fear rather than in the need to achieve and accomplish goals in the service of looking good.


Richard, a Sexual Six, speaks:

For me the world is a dangerous place and as a result I maintain a constant vigilance. Scanning and looking for inconsistencies in people and the world around me is an ongoing and never-ending task. Dealing with the outside world is exhausting as a result.

Social occasions are especially taxing. On a recent night out with my wife, we went to a party where there were twenty to thirty other couples in attendance. Everyone was in a fun and festive mood...including myself. However, I quickly noticed that while my wife was easily approached and engaged by the new people around us, I, on the other hand, seemed to maintain a three-foot "No Fly Zone" around me for at least the first hour.

I've realized that my automatic and unconscious approach to dealing with uncertain and potentially threatening situations is to present myself as a potential threat. I don't literally threaten people, of course; it's more of an energy, or an aura, I create around myself without always knowing I'm doing it. I often wonder how others experience me when I'm in that mode, reserved and somewhat stoic, critical and watchful, and physically intense. From the inside, I have the sense that I’m ready to spring into action at a moment's notice. Recently, through therapy, I've realized how important it has been for me to squash fear (and even potential hints of fear) aggressively, assertively, and with prejudice.


Specific Work For The Sexual Six on the Path from Vice to Virtue

Sexual Sixes can travel the path from fear to courage by learning how to be more vulnerable. If you are a Sexual Six, you may at times feel courageous, but don't mistake aggression and "strength" born of fear for real courage. As Naranjo says, the courage of the Sexual Six is the courage of having a weapon. Put down your weapons and learn to tap into your vulnerable emotions as a source of real strength, real power, and real courage. Notice how being strong masks your fear and other vulnerable feelings, and work to get in touch with those instead of always taking refuge in your ability to squash fear and look strong on the outside. Work toward having the courage to be able to let your guard down with more people more often. Allow yourself to feel pleasure without ambivalence and tenderness without reserve. Notice how the fear of losing your freedom and independence may lead you to push people away, and work on learning to trust people more with your more vulnerable feelings. Allow yourself to be guided more by instinct, intuition, and softer emotions so you can expand the ways in which you relate to yourself and open yourself up to others. Recognize that you can be liberated from the fear that keeps you locked inside the hard shell of your "acorn" self by seeing and accepting that you don't always have to be so strong and so vigilant.
 

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I think this is actually one of the better descriptions of what a counterphobic 6 is really like. I did type this way once, and if it weren't for the rest of Chestnut's chapter on it, could conceivably accept it as my type once again. I doubt I'm a SX subtype though.
 

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Good description of CP six. Bad description of SX six. I asked people once whether they thought I was aggressive. I got a resounding no. They said I was stubborn but in no way intimidating or aggressive. I am also very aware of my own fear. And I also don't understand the need to protect from inner attacks inside. I don't feel bad. I sometimes pick on myself for being weak, but bad is not a term I relate to in any way. This whole description is practically unrelatable to me and seems to have little to do with what SX is actually about. I mean sure I go cp and try to stay strong and face fear, but I wouldn't call myself CP to the extent of this description.
 

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Good description of CP six. Bad description of SX six. I asked people once whether they thought I was aggressive. I got a resounding no. They said I was stubborn but in no way intimidating or aggressive. I am also very aware of my own fear. And I also don't understand the need to protect from inner attacks inside. I don't feel bad. I sometimes pick on myself for being weak, but bad is not a term I relate to in any way. This whole description is practically unrelatable to me and seems to have little to do with what SX is actually about. I mean sure I go cp and try to stay strong and face fear, but I wouldn't call myself CP to the extent of this description.
o.o aww, I could relatively relate to this, minus being aggressive & daredvil-ish. At least I could relate to this more then SP or SO.

:unsure: however I do react with..I wouldn't call it aggression, more like hostility to perceived attacks, especially if I'm afraid I tend towards being angry..but you see I do connect the two, unlike this SX description depicts.
 

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o.o aww, I could relatively relate to this, minus being aggressive & daredvil-ish. At least I could relate to this more then SP or SO.

:unsure: however I do react with..I wouldn't call it aggression, more like hostility to perceived attacks, especially if I'm afraid I tend towards being angry..but you see I do connect the two, unlike this SX description depicts.
I have too much nine. I completely numb out aggression and anger. I am literally unaware most of the time that I ever feel any until those very rare moments happen where I explode. I am a bit of a dare devil, that I can agree with. I love energizing activities that are a bit fear stimulating. But I don't see perceived attacks. If someone starts to attack, I just think about the best way to get them to stop and then go calmly carry out whatever I think is best. I'm hard to ruffle. This type literally sounds somewhat illogical to me. I would never use a strategy like this because it's just comes across as unwise to me. I do not back away from threats though. I just have my own better methods, in my opinion, of dealing with them. And why would I feel the need to look like a "good" guy in order to not be punished? That infers that I think I'm inherently bad, which is pretty far from my normal state of mind. I am also not contrarian like that. What's the point was my first thought? And I also don't look for one truth. I don't even feel the need.
 

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I have too much nine. I completely numb out aggression and anger. I am literally unaware most of the time that I ever feel any until those very rare moments happen where I explode. I am a bit of a dare devil, that I can agree with. I love energizing activities that are a bit fear stimulating. But I don't see perceived attacks. If someone starts to attack, I just think about the best way to get them to stop and then go calmly carry out whatever I think is best. I'm hard to ruffle. This type literally sounds somewhat illogical to me. I would never use a strategy like this because it's just comes across as unwise to me. I do not back away from threats though. I just have my own better methods, in my opinion, of dealing with them. And why would I feel the need to look like a "good" guy in order to not be punished? That infers that I think I'm inherently bad, which is pretty far from my normal state of mind. I am also not contrarian like that. What's the point was my first thought? And I also don't look for one truth. I don't even feel the need.
o.o damn, I'm kind of jelly of that. :\ sometimes its very easy for me to blow a gasket & then regret it, thou in general I'm easy going type B personality.
 

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o.o damn, I'm kind of jelly of that. :\ sometimes its very easy for me to blow a gasket & then regret it, thou in general I'm easy going type B personality.
It's not always so great to be honest. Some of my either type six friends are constantly like why didn't you get mad, he just felt you up or whatever it is that I didn't feel bothered by. It's an actual problem for me sometimes. I've been trying to not be like that all the time, but it's so easy to slip back into apathy. I do tend to get angry when I see other people getting mistreated and I've been known to go all out justice warrior over other people if I think I can do anything, but when it comes to myself I guess I struggle to see myself as affected. I mean if you do go so far as to actually make me feel threatened, which doesn't happen that often, I am just cold and will hit wherever it hurts most. But that's extreme for me. And it doesn't come across as aggressive. I'm just really calm and cold and in control
 

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o.o aww, I could relatively relate to this, minus being aggressive & daredvil-ish. At least I could relate to this more then SP or SO.

:unsure: however I do react with..I wouldn't call it aggression, more like hostility to perceived attacks, especially if I'm afraid I tend towards being angry..but you see I do connect the two, unlike this SX description depicts.
o.o damn, I'm kind of jelly of that. :\ sometimes its very easy for me to blow a gasket & then regret it, thou in general I'm easy going type B personality.
I can really relate to this, It would be very useful to adopt more 9 strategies for me, and it would've especially been useful in the past. Back then I wasn't aware of my hostility towards certain others, often too because I took many things as personal insults instead of seeing them as what they were: jokes, and my lacking understanding of the social situation only increased the amount of misunderstandings. At least now I'm aware, but from time to time I can still give off a very bad vibe, I find that my E9 friends help me to understand this in myself the most.
 

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this is scary accurate

Sexual Sixes have a need not just for strength but for intimidation. As Naranjo suggests, this expression of intimidation is very much the essence of the character

i agree, intimidation is key

i want to look intimidating, strength and beauty is not enough
 

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I assume Sexual 6 often mistypes as Sexual 4. Both types are listed as "looking like a Type 8 or Type 3", and I actively pursue both physical strength and personal attractiveness, the way this description explains. Jiu Jitsu is my technique of choice. I think my Tritype is pretty much settled at 458, yet the SX 6 I have a great affinity for and relation to. It's a type I can understand very easily.
 

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I'm without a doubt an sx-6. I do agree with most of what was said. Here's how I would phrase my own experience in my own words:

I tend to separate the people I meet into two categories; those who are out for themselves and will step on other people to get out ahead, and those who see us all on a level playing field and therefore seek to establish common ground. I feel like I can tell who is who by how they speak to me. The latter tends to look me in the eye more, is more engaging in conversation even if we don't talk very long, and is generally more friendly overall. The former does the opposite of all those things, and is often short with me because they're more concerned with whatever they're trying to do and so instead anyone else is like an obstacle rather than a whole person.

I find myself almost instantly trusting the latter more, because if they take the time to share a few words, it means they respect that I was not put on this earth to be their door mat. I don't have anything against people who are goal-oriented, but I worry that the more goal-oriented someone is, the greedier/more selfish they become, the more likely they are to give me shit OUT OF that selfishness. No one can really tell me otherwise on this. I've been working customer service for the last 4 years. I've had plenty of people try to play me, and I know the tricks. I've also had plenty of more altruistic people who I befriended almost instantly.

Now, in regards to how I deal with those "goal-oriented" people; I don't. When I meet them, I keep my words short. I give them as few chances to try to take advantage as possible. I try to keep in mind that I have nothing to prove to these people, but IF I have to, I'll simply pay attention to what they try to pull and stand my ground. I didn't get like this overnight. It just look a lot of me wanting to have faith in everyone and realizing I couldn't.

As my best friend told me just yesterday, whatever energy someone gives you, you have to give the same level right back, if you want to protect yourself. That's all it takes. People don't mess with people who match their strength.
 
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