Personality Cafe banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
990 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi enneagram forum. Sexual 3 wing 2 here. Im curious about sexual energy and how it plays out with other people. This article Socionics - the16types.info - Instinctual Stackings says that the sexual type, if they find a mate will unite without fanfare. Is the sexual type somehow a sucker for love (for lack of a better term)? I can recall all my life having the feeling that I must before I die meet my "soulmate" and Im very big on it and serious about it. Does anyone relate or have anything to add to this? It seems that no matter how old I get (Im now 22), I will always be looking forward to meeting the perfect person. If youre a sexual type, would you say that youre a big "relationship person" like I am? Though I havent had serious boyfriends, since puberty Ive been very aggressive about at least keeping someone around for example. What about you guys?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,996 Posts
SX seven here. Yes, big on the idea of relationships, however extremely reserved in the sense that no-one else but my "soulmate" can pass a certain line in relationship development.

Being a seven, my friends sometimes perceive me as a social type, but the inner feeling is to match up with one other person. In the social environment I'll focus on one person and generally hover around them, with the exception of the fairly regular attention grabbers that pull me away temporarily - although inwardly I would prefer it if that other person was nearby the entire time. It often appears like my attention is elsewhere, but always at least a portion of my attention seems to be with that one person, even if it looks like I've grown bored of that person...And I may become bored, but that doesn't mean I don't want them around anymore.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
990 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Im the same. I read somewhere that SX firsts will focus alot on the "chemistry" behind the connections but it seems like we must or at least SX/SP (which is my stack) because I am always seeking a "secure union" to feed my craving whether that be a person or whatever. Then it seems like it makes us very precise in who we are around. Its as if we're attracted to people who we know will fuel the fire and passion. I do it without thinking but Im wired to it and I cant help it! The one point you made about how you like having certain people around- I feel the same, but I will end up choosing the person that I know for sure will stick around at the end of the day like when my church group goes to our restaurant after bible study, I dont sit next to the loudest or the "coolest" person even though I may find them interesting, Ill sit next to maybe someone who is attractive, maybe more quiet and receptive and "willing" (if you will), for example. Sexual energy is crazy! We're addicts at heart <3
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,996 Posts
It effects in a way platonic relationships too. I need my one-on-one time with each of my close friends individually, and if I am wanting the one-on-one time it'll annoy me if they invite others along - and that being said, I love being in a group of people too sometimes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
990 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Agree yet I like groups more for the multiple opportunities it presents and I must have one on one time with friends that I care about, in fact I dont think I have any other approach. When it comes to groups though, I have pretty much no social energy so I am focused on my individual place in the group rather than the group as a whole. I cant say I like groups that much other than the potential to meet new interesting people to engage one on one with and I think thats because Im a very cerebral kind of person. My group of friends are all educated and generally interesting but there are always few in any crowd that really keep up a good conversation and my craving for that is very intense and I seek it out naturally in any social setting.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
990 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
For the same reason Im asking if they all have the "soulmate" complex- because SXs need to be stimulated at all times (at least I do as an SX). If you need to be stimulated in conversation as an SX something about that conversation needs to interest you. Im using "intellectual" very loosely here though...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
656 Posts
YES YES YES


I've been obsessed with love since I was a kid. It's almost constantly on my mind, my biggest motivation.
To some, this might make me appear desperate, but I wouldn't call it that, because I'll never settle for a relationship in which there's no real emotional connection or intensity. I don't think sexual-doms would ever be the "settling" type. Only genuine connections satisfy us. That's what I think anyway.
I'll never be satisfied with my life until I find mutual love. I'll forever be yearning for it. If I don't have a specific person to dream about, I feel utterly bored with life. When I don't have a crush or something to feel strongly about, I go to bed feeling empty. I'll distract myself with movies or books or music that give me something to feel about. I need it.
Sometimes, I do disgust myself with this quality. I'm obsessive, an addict. Most people can't handle my true self, unless they too are sexual-doms. I've been conditioned to mute myself so that others don't feel smothered. I call myself "crazy" all the time (but usually in a nonchalant, humorous way). I realized that as long as I don't overstep my boundaries with others, it's okay to be obsessive. I can do whatever I want in the safety of my own head. I need to feel alive. We all do what we can to feel secure in this world. There shouldn't be shame in that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18,510 Posts
I'm not obsessed with love or even a relationship. It's not an obsession as much as it is a strong desire or craving to have a very deep-seated need of intimacy satisfied that seems impossible to satisfy because of its depth. It's not so much even that I have standards on people I get along with, as much as I am acutely aware of who I click with at a deeper intimate level or not and those I don't click with always fall away and developing a stronger bond with those people just never happens.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
990 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
@Cassieopeia I feel better since you said this! SX/SP is such a crazy energy stack to have. Im still learning to cope when I cant find someone to be with. I can get very restless and I will even do risky things just for a moment to "dream" again...
@ephemereality I think that this is a legitimate interpretation. In my own words- I hate that about being sx/sp. It is so demanding that in my life it causes isolation due to its "pickiness". When its good its great when theres nothing it can get unbearable (for me, at times).

Sx/sp is an appetite
having social energy last is kind of crippling at times :(
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top