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"If you get any slower, you will travel back in time."

When I use this line, I am dead serious.
 

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5,008 Posts
-Stay on task.
-I'm the boss here, remember who's in charge.
-Move faster!
-Stop getting distracted!
-Stand up for yourself!
-Don't let him take advantage of you!
-Exactly how long is this going to take, and exactly what time will you be here?
-Damn it! Show up on time for once!
 

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3,915 Posts
Your going as slow as a 3 legged, arthritic turtle with it's tail nailed down. -Thomas60 (tm)
 

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fire breathing dragon
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2,810 Posts
For people who complain about a situation they can choose to get out of: "don't choose to sit in shit and then complain about the smell."

For people who say I "hurt" their self-esteem: "It's called self-esteem not everyone-else-esteem. Its not my job to validate your life."

For people who try to tell me about myself like going to hurt my feeling: *look up**look down**sip tea**clear throat*/the end.

For people who cling to me for guidance: "Who am I your mother?"

For people who make fun of the underdog: *swoop in with my cape and crush their face under my combat issue boots*

For men who call me masculine: "Are you angry that my non existent cock is bigger than your real life one?"

For people who try to shame me for something I've said like I'm supposed to care: "What's your point?"

For people who think I'm funny or entertaining: "I'm just doin' my job"

For people who I overhear changing the fact to a story: *Yell "bullshit" then go over and correct the mistake while point out the exact time, date, place and outfits of everyone involved. Then question why they tried to change the story like I wouldn't remember it.*

I'm runnin' outta steam. I have soooo many though. I'll post back if I think of some more.
 

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To people who hold out unrealistic hope, I use one of my favourite movie quotes: "You can hope in one hand and crap in the other and see which gets filled first."

To people who sleep more than 6 hours a day and bitch about being tired: "Sleep is for the weak."

To anyone who bitches about anything else: "Go swallow a teaspoon of cement and harden the f*** up!" (Swearing is optional when talking to a lady.)
 

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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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10,959 Posts
"blah, blah, blah ... so what's your point?"

"that makes NO sense"

"BULLSHIT"

"you're not going to start crying, are you? ... sheesh"

"are you fucking kidding me?

"wait ... WHAT???"

"and .... I care about this ..... because ...?"
 

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Discussion Starter #13
"Whoa, whoa. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Did you even research this?"

"You're an idiot."

"Stop...while you *THINK* you're ahead."

"Did you actually listen to what I just told you?"

"WTF...no."

"Sigh." *followed by facepalm*
 

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"What's your point?"
"This is pointless." I say this all the time. lol

WTF

Yea right
"that makes NO sense"

"BULLSHIT"

"you're not going to start crying, are you? ... sheesh"

"are you fucking kidding me? <===== seriously, my all time favorite thing to say

"and .... I care about this ..... because ...?"
+ 1 to all the above

Along with the following......................

"Wait, let me get this straight..."

"What does A have to with B?"

"I fail to see how A relates to B"

"They have picked the wrong person to deal with....."

"How many times do they/you have to bump their/your head(s) until the white meat shows"

"This is dumb" or "This is stupid"

"Who the hell does that anyway?"

"How the hell did they come up with that?"

"Correct if I'm wrong...."

"Last time I checked....."

"Where there is a will there is a way"

"Better to have and not need than to need and not have"

"A dog that brings a bone will take a bone" <---- gossip alert

"Nothing beats a failure but a try"
 

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"Jesus Christ, your handwriting looks like a three year old had a stroke."

"Don't botch this."

"...no."

"NO!"

"No."

"Yeah... I'm just kidding- no."

"Just put it down, I'll deal with it- you're useless." (and was then called a 'Nazi').

"You're an ass hat."

"See you guys tomorrow :)"
 

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Shit, do I have to pay you royalties for quoting you?
My legal advice rate is $10,000 as a fixed fee.
With this in mind, say, "with the intent to create legal relations, I wish to solicit your professional advice for this question"
then i'll tell you.
 

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"You're still on that? "

"I'm looking for probability not possibility."

"Don't get mooshy all of a sudden."

"If I'm teasin', it means I like yah'."

"Need a tissue?"

"You do realize you just contradicted yourself right?"
"You do realize that sounded like bullshit right?"
"You do realize you're a jerk right?"
"You do realize I've owned you right?"
"You do realize I don't care right?"

"Chillllllll~ I got this. "

" I guess people like that do exist...."

"I need my coffee."

"Don't make that face at me--- it makes you look constipated."
 

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Banned
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2,458 Posts
metaphor I like to use: "I can teach you how to fish, I'm not going to keep handing you salmon. But you have to want it."

metaphor 2:"What's the point in not being straight forward..? Your 'feelings' will get more hurt in the long run if you come home after a long day to find you've had a fat bugar on your face and nobody told you."

*interrupt midstream* "So... what are you getting at?"

"What? Don't wanna play your own game anymore? Finish what you started, even if you're losing."

"You don't know until you try."

"Look, stop over-analyzing things, calm down, and trust me."

"Err.. that doesn't make sense.. because: *insert evidence and logic here*"

metaphor 3: "Instead of banging your head against the door trying to bash it open for hours, try turning the knob."

"Instead of showering the world with pitiful excuses and pointing fingers, focus on the problem at hand."

"Look, it's simple, stop over-complicating it -- what do you not get?"

"Look, call me whatever names you please, but what I'm saying makes sense and it's the truth whether you want to accept it or not."
 

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If there's a long discussion about how something will possibly turn out: "There's only one way to find out" or "Let's find out"

The moments before jumping into the wikipedia mobile: "...But don't trust me on that. I have to check it up"

Interrupting: "What's your point?" or "Where are you going with this?"

General advice: "Help people get up when they fall, and teach them to walk if they can crawl. But don't become a crutch for the chronically ill."

General advice: "There is no such thing as unnecessary knowledge" and (quoting Heinlein) "Specialization is for insects"

General advice: "Learning and problem solving are general skills. They're not subject specific."

When correcting someone: "No, you're wrong. I remember this" or "No, you're wrong. I know this"
 

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-If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
-You act like a man that has paper for brains!
-Time is money.
-Greed is good.
-Time is the only resource that can not be replaced, so put every minute of your life to good use.
-You have to grab life by the balls!
-No one every made any money without stepping on some toes.
 
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