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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi.
I've been in a relationship for over a month now.
Things are going really well. I'm told really good things about the way it's going or about me, but often. It's nice. But, I don't really know how to react to it. I, personally find myself having a hard time saying heartfelt things very openly and clearly. I want to show appreciation though. Or at least receive kind words well. How do I just accept it, like okay, he feels this way about me. What am I supposed to do about it?

Also, there was a girl he liked years ago. But, she dated his friend and he was fine with it in time. He said it didn't take too long. He said the guy didn't treat her well though, which I can see. But, I also wonder if it's because he may have wanted to treat her well. Also, recently, there was a situation in which they were alone and his friend nudged him or asked him about starting something with her. He told me this. He then explained that she was a friend and he didn't want to ruin things and he has me. I'm not sure if he said something else. But, when I see them together, I feel like they might be good together. And I'm a little jealous or insecure. I saw them together, passed them, and literally walked away to let them be. He later found me. But, I felt like I may have intruded more than the other way around. Also, in a game, she paid him attention and was a little flirty. I don't know if that's part of her natural character with someone she knows, but I feel like something was/is/ could be there. And it's really ridiculous for me to think so. I don't want to ask him about her. He may start thinking more of her or lack of trust may cause problems, etc. I don't want to seem jealous or insecure. I don't want to secretly find her suspicious or be in some sort of competition with her. Or have any of these thoughts at all. He's not my possession after all. But, if something is there, I sort of feel like he should try it out(breaking things off with me first) or tell me about it. I hope I'm just being crazy. I don't know. If I see her again, I feel like this will come up again. Do I talk with him about it?

Yes. I dislike insecurity, jealousy, and that bullshit. But, my intuition is telling me something when she is around. But, the truth is that things are going really well. I also felt this way about another female friend of his, which was ridiculous. It's the opposite sex thing. This is ridiculous. How do I avoid feeling like this and what does it say about me that I do?
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I think I get put onto a pedestal when these things get said to me. So I must be really special. But, then there are other people you can be nice to, so not special. I just need to hold onto that 'specialness' less because it's not realistic. But, why tell me I'm special, then? To get what you want, huh. Just kidding. I don't know what to think when I think of these things. I should just not think about them. I know me. I can trust you. Let's go with that. It works out. I'm not blindly going through. But, I don't tell people they're special. It puts too much expectation and obligation. Why do people do it to me? Humph. Maybe I tell them they're special in my own way. Relationships. Crazy.
 

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i don't really understand what more you want from him. he's allowed to get along with more people than you..

in fact- whilst someone i'm seeing is always my favourite person at the time, i still have lots of friends whom i'll have different dynamics with compared to her. outwardly, it might sometimes be hard to say that i got along with her the best out of anyone, in fact that's quite often not the case with me, because i'm attracted to introverts and i might outwardly seem more active around extroverted friends than her, however to me i much prefer her company to any of them, and to me all that matters is what i feel like i'm getting out of an interaction, not what might be apparent to a careless observer.

basically, don't get insecure because your bloke has a different dynamic from you with other people, even if he seems more outgoing or talkative with other people, because if he values you then he values you, end of.

i'm sometimes unnecessarily careful not to allow someone i'm seeing to see me being my careless-fun self with female friends, because there's a chance she might get jealous or feel like her interaction with me isn't as special as it is.. but at the end of the day i can laugh and joke and semi-flirt with a female friend, but as soon as i see her, all i want to do is leave that friend to be with her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
i don't really understand what more you want from him. he's allowed to get along with more people than you..
I know. I like that a lot. He wanted to check out a car with his friends but he said he wanted to be with me, so I led him there and let him be with his friends. XD
When he gets along well with girls, I assume many things. I think a large part of this has to do with my past relationship. Trust was lacking and we tested each other out. He had a past and his story kept changing. I was also insecure and thought he might compare me with other girls. Or not feel worthy enough.
Now, I'd like to think I'm more confident in myself and it's been a healthy relationship, which is why I want these thoughts and assumptions to not exist. They're not ruining anything. It's unreasonable and I know it but it's there. I don't want to think: female, boom, target, despise, assume, boyfriend is mine. Or you two are getting along well, maybe I should just get away and leave you be.

in fact- whilst someone i'm seeing is always my favourite person at the time, i still have lots of friends whom i'll have different dynamics with compared to her. outwardly, it might sometimes be hard to say that i got along with her the best out of anyone, in fact that's quite often not the case with me, because i'm attracted to introverts and i might outwardly seem more active around extroverted friends than her, however to me i much prefer her company to any of them, and to me all that matters is what i feel like i'm getting out of an interaction, not what might be apparent to a careless observer.
He's extroverted. When we're out, I notice he's a lot more talkative with his friends. But, not because he doesn't have much to say to me, it's just less but more personal stuff.

basically, don't get insecure because your bloke has a different dynamic from you with other people, even if he seems more outgoing or talkative with other people, because if he values you then he values you, end of.
True. I know that. I brought it up with him, about anything between him and that girl, and I disliked doing it. Because I have no right to feel that way. He was reassuring, which made me feel even worse in a way. Anyways, they were just misplaced thoughts and feelings and I hope to not have them again. I know he cares. Him having to reassure is just unfair. I don't need that. Which is why it's weird, when the anti girl approaching boyfriend signals go on.

i'm sometimes unnecessarily careful not to allow someone i'm seeing to see me being my careless-fun self with female friends, because there's a chance she might get jealous or feel like her interaction with me isn't as special as it is.. but at the end of the day i can laugh and joke and semi-flirt with a female friend, but as soon as i see her, all i want to do is leave that friend to be with her.
Thank you!
 
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