1) My husband rocks back to calm after I have a melt-down.
2) I had a melt-down because I couldn't face Reality, but:
3) The IT-band and back spasms were set off by the addition of another rat--and a damn smart, intense, fast, funny one.
4) I faced it, after diagramming a possible solution--turning my Yoga/Meditation/Office into a Rat Room.
5) We'll be back to having just our old (manageable) girl, Pickles starting this Saturday when my husband returns Pieper to the breeder.
6) I got through the aversion, the ranting, the crying, the inability to see why I was so upset, then stopped blaming myself as I was blamed for anything that went wrong anywhere near me when I was an infant to the time--and after--I was kicked out of home.
7) The Dharma rocks: It states that human beings--not me personally, or not "just" me personally--have a malady: We have an innate dissatisfaction with Life as it is, fight it, and suffer. I am following the "Teachings" as best I can, and it's working.
8) I talked on the phone--lunch time--with my husband, and he offered to call the breeder, agreed it wouldn't be good for me to do it considering my history with getting blamed for what I didn't cause, i.e. in this instance, my IT-band and back spasm flare, which is lingering, grows worse, a bit better, worse again...
9) I married the perfect man for me. Neither of us are perfect; life--as I understand it from The Dharma--is perfect, but ignorance obscures this from human beings.
10) I am committed more to following The Dharma than to anything, because it's working for me. I am softening in a good way, bit by bit.