I've run across differing opinions on wishlists, and I feel like it's related to personality, but I'm not entirely sure how. There seems to generally be two types.
A) Some people seem to find getting wishlists from others to be a bit demanding. They also tend to feel that trying to shop from a list sort of... cramps their style you might say. They want to figure out what someone would like for themselves and personally select the gift. This way it feels like it's really from their heart, and communicates something. Shopping from a list feels rather empty; the person may as well just buy those things for himself. Likewise they don't like giving out wishlists because it feels rather selfish and they want to know that someone else really put thought into the gift. It really does seem like the act of giving, the relationship of giving, the communication of giving is the focus here. "It's the thought that counts."
B) Some people pester others to give them wishlists before they go out shopping. They tend to second guess their ideas of what to get someone, wanting absolute certainty that this gift is going to be used and appreciated, rather than guessing as to whether it will be liked or whether the person doesn't already have it. Buying without a list runs the risk of it being a waste. Having a list also enables more efficient shopping as they have a specific item they can go in, get it, and get out, rather than browsing for inspiration. Likewise they would usually rather have someone just ask what they want rather than having loads of crap shoved at them instead of what they actually want. They'd rather people just save their money than spend it on something they never really wanted in the first place. The thought is nice and all... but, it's pointless if the gift isn't going to actually be used. People can communicate they care about you minus the gift that's going moulder in the back of the closet till you have a garage-sale.
Do you fall into either of these categories? What traits (or functions) do you think might be responsible for your opinion on this matter?
It's my vague guess that possibly Fe would be more prone to A. For myself I feel like my Fi 'idealism' leads me to B because I want to give someone the gift that they will want Most. I could give them any number of nice things that they would probably like, but I want to choose the best gift, the one that they would pick for themselves, and it's rare that I would know what that would be without them telling me, so I always want to ask someone before buying something for them. (You can imagine I don't really do surprise gifts well, because I can't help but try and check with them, even if roundaboutly to make sure they like it and don't already have it).
A) Some people seem to find getting wishlists from others to be a bit demanding. They also tend to feel that trying to shop from a list sort of... cramps their style you might say. They want to figure out what someone would like for themselves and personally select the gift. This way it feels like it's really from their heart, and communicates something. Shopping from a list feels rather empty; the person may as well just buy those things for himself. Likewise they don't like giving out wishlists because it feels rather selfish and they want to know that someone else really put thought into the gift. It really does seem like the act of giving, the relationship of giving, the communication of giving is the focus here. "It's the thought that counts."
B) Some people pester others to give them wishlists before they go out shopping. They tend to second guess their ideas of what to get someone, wanting absolute certainty that this gift is going to be used and appreciated, rather than guessing as to whether it will be liked or whether the person doesn't already have it. Buying without a list runs the risk of it being a waste. Having a list also enables more efficient shopping as they have a specific item they can go in, get it, and get out, rather than browsing for inspiration. Likewise they would usually rather have someone just ask what they want rather than having loads of crap shoved at them instead of what they actually want. They'd rather people just save their money than spend it on something they never really wanted in the first place. The thought is nice and all... but, it's pointless if the gift isn't going to actually be used. People can communicate they care about you minus the gift that's going moulder in the back of the closet till you have a garage-sale.
Do you fall into either of these categories? What traits (or functions) do you think might be responsible for your opinion on this matter?
It's my vague guess that possibly Fe would be more prone to A. For myself I feel like my Fi 'idealism' leads me to B because I want to give someone the gift that they will want Most. I could give them any number of nice things that they would probably like, but I want to choose the best gift, the one that they would pick for themselves, and it's rare that I would know what that would be without them telling me, so I always want to ask someone before buying something for them. (You can imagine I don't really do surprise gifts well, because I can't help but try and check with them, even if roundaboutly to make sure they like it and don't already have it).
