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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Does anyone else ever get angry at inanimate objects for the silliest reasons? I think it has to do with our inferior extroverted sensing. Also I have a very high spacial intelligence if that makes a difference - do you have a high spacial intelligence? Anyways INFJs don't like when things don't go our way and if we're doing something we know should work to an object or computer (like my phone.....) and it doesn't work, we get frustrated to a certain extent. I think it's because we use our usually reliable iNtuition for stuff in our mind: we come to depend on it too much in all aspects. It makes us mad knowing how poorly put together or obsolete the object is since we're fixed on perfection (and sometimes the fact that it could be perfect if it weren't for the silly way we make/do things as a society).


Comments, questions?


Oh and if you want to discuss people that's cool too, since I used it in the title to lure ya'll in... Did I need to?
 

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Hmm... when I'm playing a computer game and it lags or has other technical difficulties, I specifically blame the game for not living up to its potential (even though in actuality, it's my computer that's having the trouble). "C'mon, game! Do your job!"

I have a similar response to the scanners at work when they fail to do their job and scan bar codes. "Could you be more lazy? You have one purpose in your existence, and you can't even manage to fulfill it?"
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Ahh, good point, @JadenAria. That's crossed my mind as well, also it could be intensified by a seeping of other things we're keeping inside - or perhaps that's what pushes us over the edge to react outwardly.
 

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I only get angry with inanimate objects (anyone seen John Cleese giving his car a "damn good thrashing" in Fawlty Towers?)

Hardly ever with people......my own patience and forbearance with people often surprises myself!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I can get quite frustrated with people I'm close to sometimes. When it does occur there's a build-up of things I've wanted to say and something has usually weakened my guards against saying them - be it not enough sleep or loss of control through some other means. I'm realizing, learning from, and curbing them as I come to them though... My close ISFP friend can fuel eachothers fire and we get into spats once in a great while cause we can be verbally passive-aggressive towards one another if our moods/desires/beliefs are not jiving and/or if we spend too much time together without a break.
 

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Yeah, I got mad at my juicer last night. I curse at things when they don't do what I want them to. Stupid part always goes on just fine every time but last night for whatever reason it just didn't want to go on for me and I was lining it up just right and everything. Then I get my husband to put it on and what do you know, it goes right in for him. What the hell? Stupid piece of....

Hmm that sort of sounded dirty :blushed:
 

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Eh, I do this as well. I'll be having a completely normal day, everything will be going well, and then all of a sudden some random thing will just not work, or will go wrong. So I'll get mad & sometimes even flip that object off if I'm alone (lol). Just a small way of venting my frustration I guess.
I wonder if a family of frustrated INXJ's would act like this:

And yes I certainly swear vociferously at objects that fail me. For instance, my immediate impulse was to throw this bastard can of salmon at the wall the other day when the fucking tab came right off when I pulled it. I stabbed it with a fork instead lol (which worked!).

I don't usually get too upset with people though, because I know they're imperfect by nature.
 

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lmao...that video was funny.

For years I won't get angry at anything...things just were what they were, take 'em or leave 'em. If you didn't like a person, don't hang out with them. If you don't like a circumstance, change it. If you think something doesn't work, don't use it. It's the ultimate waste of time/energy to complain about something when you know it's not going to change anything.

Even though I understand human nature, and I know I can't change it, there is some hidden anger/resentment inside of me due to abuse that I went through years ago. Because of that, people will make me angry sometimes. Like if they say something like "sometimes, something beautiful can come out of a tough situation" or "without the bad, we couldn't know the good"...they make it sound like w/o that negative event, we couldn't possibly appreciate the good that came afterward.

That'd be like saying, well w/o that can of salmon failing you, you wouldn't have had the chance to use your creativity to open it, so you're better off that it failed because now you can REALLY appreciate your creativity.

That's the kind of stupid that makes me angry. *sigh*
 

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Well an object doesn't behave in a way that it "ought not to" because it's an object, and it's not like it cares about ethics or propriety.

But. . . I still get pissed when I get a lag spike out of nowhere, or when my printer jams at the worst time in an attempt to ruin my life.

And yeah, certain people's actions piss me off too when our values clash. Shit happens.

Like if they say something like "sometimes, something beautiful can come out of a tough situation" or "without the bad, we couldn't know the good"...they make it sound like w/o that negative event, we couldn't possibly appreciate the good that came afterward.
. . . hate that. The duality argument especially.

But at the same time, I enjoy messing up from time to time, helps me find my weaknesses so I can cover them.
 

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two words: road rage
I notice that because i can't control what's going on on the road (in so many different scenarios) i get realllly mad..like irrationally angry.
Road rage is just an example..this also happens with technology and sometimes people, situations, ect
 

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I definitely do this. Every time I stub my toe on something it sends a surge of rage through my system, it only lasts about a second but it still really makes me mad. :tongue: Only the day before last I walked into my living room, and hit my shin on the sharp corner of a big box. and earlier in the day than that my funny bone on the corner of a counter. Wow, I'm clumsy.... :blushed:

My ISTJ partner is the worst for this out of anyone I know - as soon as his tv, or laptop, or playstation, or playstation game doesn't go right, or even if his phone does the slightest thing wrong I don't stop hearing ''What a piece of S**T!!!!'' for the next however long until it works. Haha.

To add to the conversation the next page back - it's never people I get so frustrated with, just objects. People try to annoy me all the time and it makes no difference to me, but then if an object annoys you you think 'oh, now you're doing it too?' :crazy:
 

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Ha ha yes. The physical world is an obstacle.

You should see me getting in a temper with the self-checkout at the supermarket. I could swear these machines are holding a personal vendetta against me. Refusing to scan a particular item for no apparent reason whatsoever. Completely incompetent technology. I'm sure they design these things specifically to give people a hard time. They like to watch us suffer.

I get on a line with my own body sometimes too. I remember getting in a temper with my hair and furiously hacking away at it with the scissors. The result was not an improvement.
 

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Technology of all sorts.

ESPECIALLY that stupid Cashier named Robert (the machine) He just really pisses me off.
 

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Like if they say something like "sometimes, something beautiful can come out of a tough situation" or "without the bad, we couldn't know the good"...they make it sound like w/o that negative event, we couldn't possibly appreciate the good that came afterward.

That'd be like saying, well w/o that can of salmon failing you, you wouldn't have had the chance to use your creativity to open it, so you're better off that it failed because now you can REALLY appreciate your creativity.

That's the kind of stupid that makes me angry. *sigh*
I can understand and appreciate where this comes from, especially within the context of explaining that somehow the bad caused the good. I think where I see the frustration with this here is that it comes across as trying to sugar-coat the bad, and also kind of invalidating the emotional reaction and very real effects of negative circumstances. There's also the issue of cliches in that they come across as being hollow. That's the impression I get. I'm not sure if that's an accurate understanding.

I do tell myself certain things to do with the good/bad dichotomy however, but not in the same context. I guess for me I look at it less as, "good comes out of bad," and more as . . . I don't have the phrasing down, but, "good and bad are both part of life, and and as much as the bad is, well, bad, I suppose I can create meaning, or learning in the context of handling that bad experience which is good." I know that's explained terribly. I have better examples.

One way I look of it is like a wheel. That the circumstances of life are always going up and down and that sometimes life is up, and sometimes it's down, and that yes, some of this happens well outside of my sphere of influence. What I strive for, in this model, is to be the hub of the wheel, to be able to stay centered through the ups and downs that occur, which for me comes from a place of accepting that the wheel is spinning at all and that I inevitably have a place on it. This is just how I see it for myself.

Another way to explain is by thinking of myself as a furnace. Pain, abuse, hurt, tragedy go in, and I process them, and that doesn't change the awfulness or difficulty of what that means, or anything like that because pain is pain, but I also look at it from the perspective of how I'm going to process it. Because that awful thing has happened to me, it becomes part of my experience and, as part of my experience, it becomes part of me, so I have to think, how do I want that to manifest in my thoughts and perceptions, in my interactions? I feel like if I lock it up and ignore it, then it seeps out, which puts the control on the event, the tragedy. I look at it as giving the power of my very soul away to the pain, but if I can process the pain of whatever experience happened (in my own time and way, of course) then I can convert that into things like compassion, empathy, increased understanding and awareness.

I suppose if I was to summarize my own sort of experience of the good/bad dichotomy issue it would be that, "pain is pain, but pain with meaning can become strength and healing."

That's just my own perspective on it, and I'm not directing anything at anyone. This is just more what was triggered in my thought process by particular statements, and I'm sort of just expanding on that.

Anyway! Moving forward!

I do experience frustration at objects and sometimes people. I'm usually pretty in control of my frustration because I'm most interested in deconstructing the emotional experience to figure out the source of it which usually chills me right out, but when I'm short on time, or overwhelmed, or just plain old not-feeling-it, I can get a little short.

I have a story: I have this plastic thing for poaching eggs in the microwave. It works amazingly about 60% of the time. Usually, I'm not too bothered when it doesn't work right because eggs in the microwave is always a dicey adventure at best. One day, however, I was going through some pretty awful life circumstances and I wanted some poached eggs, but didn't want to get out a pot and turn on the stove, so I decided to give this thing a go.

Needless to say, it was not within the 60% of success stories. So of course I called the egg poacher some pretty unkind things and basically verbally "hulked out," on it. My SO, of course, is very uncomfortable with overt displays of emotion, so he was a bit uncomfortable.

Ultimately, the issue wasn't entirely about the egg poacher. It was about a lot of other stuff -- stress, frustration, grief. Emotions that, in the course of holding-it-all-together, I hadn't taken the time to deal with. It was such a simple thing, the frustration of struggling with an object to reach breakfast town that just pulled on some weak spot in my head and all the other things came out. It was never about the egg poacher. It was about the feeling of being incapable in my life on a broad spectrum.

Of course, I know better than to set myself up for those situations, but it happens from time to time in moments of extreme stress. Usually when I feel that frustration creeping up, I turn it into a joke. For example, if I'm out with friends and I'm struggling with something ridiculous like, opening a coffee or whatever, I'll just start talking to the object like I would as if it was a person. "Look, coffee, I get it. I'm trying to put this lid on you, and you just aren't having it today, and I don't really understand whats going on that this is not a day for you to cooperate with being lidded, I want you to understand that this is highly inconvenient for me, so I hope we can discuss this together and come to an understanding." Failing to then cooperate, I would perhaps put the cup up to my cheek and pat it gently, offering whispered reassurances that I will be there to support it's new role as a cup with a lid. Which, of course either generates laughter from those I'm with, or they just shake their heads at me because they already know I'm weird.

(No, really, I went out for dinner with a friend once, and I was not in a good place, and I kept talking to my food as I ate my meal. She found it amusing.)

There are some people I find I have less patience for than others, but I wouldn't really say short temper. I do get a little more "short" around my family, but that's its own beast.
 

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YES. Me and my co-worker actually do this A LOT... "Come on printer! I don't have time for your shit!"

It feels nice to yell at something that doesn't actually have feelings to be hurt, lol. I can't do the same with people.
 

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Usually when I lash out in anger it's usually that I have bottled up emotions because of a lot of things. It's usually not really the object or the person. For instance, if something goes wrong with my computer I might say. "Stupid computer! Things like this always happen to me!" It may be my feeling at the time, but it isn't really true. There isn't anything wrong with being upset but it's the negative mindset with the anger that I'm trying to break.
 
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