I've done my best to keep this brief; sorry if this seems lengthy. Hopefully this suffices as an explanation.
Around a year ago, I dated a certain INFP. When we began dating, it was very obvious to both of us that neither of us had ever met, much less dated, anyone like the other person. Needless to say, we became very close and attached to each other, although certain realizations I had of blatant dishonesty on her part led me to break up with her. She admitted fault, but as time progressed I began to become increasingly aware of how emotionally wounded she was by our break-up and how remorseful she was for the mistakes she made.
A few months ago I asked her out for coffee somewhere, not as a date, but mainly to give her an outlet to be her genuine self--as an INTP in a world engulfed by SPs and SJs at almost every turn, I believe I can partially identify with the sense of alienation and solitude that some INFPs report. I could tell that she really enjoyed herself, as her emotions have always seemed to express themselves automatically and unequivocally, and I'm also not sure if I've ever seen her that overflowingly happy.
We've gone out to talk a couple more times since then with practically the same aforementioned results each time, although we've stayed out progressively longer each time. I also have to admit that at our most recent night out she was at the most attractive I've ever seen her, with the outfit she wore and the way she had arranged her hair. And it also seemed to me that she wanted to hug before we left with the way she somewhat abruptly turned and directly faced me, and a few other nonverbal actions of hers occurring simultaneously with that repositioning also seemed to suggest this--although here I may simply be overanalyzing or misperceiving the situation.
Unfortunately, I've personally experienced an internal emotional reaction each time we've gone out, these emotional reactions seem to be getting stronger, and I've realized that the concept of living as though I have no emotional nature is immature and foolish. It would be a complete lie for me to say anything other than the fact that I'm not sure if I've ever perceived time to move so fast as when we've gone out together.
In light of all this, I wonder if I should give her another chance. She completely broke my trust before I broke up with her, and with the way a few certain circumstances currently are I'd be hesitant to trust her again. On the other hand, it's obvious that she's matured as a person since our break-up, her moral standards have improved significantly (we're both Christian), one of the factors inhibiting my trust for her is apparently diminishing, and I'm somewhat confident for a number of reasons that if I asked to date her again, she would say yes.
Of course, this is a highly compacted depiction of what's taken place, but I would very much appreciate if any of you INFPs would be so kind as to reveal any insights, thoughts, feelings, or advice pertinent to this situation. I suspect that you could understand or empathize with this INFP's experiences and feelings more accurately than I can, which is why I'm deferring to you guys for advice and "detective work."
Thanks in advance.
Around a year ago, I dated a certain INFP. When we began dating, it was very obvious to both of us that neither of us had ever met, much less dated, anyone like the other person. Needless to say, we became very close and attached to each other, although certain realizations I had of blatant dishonesty on her part led me to break up with her. She admitted fault, but as time progressed I began to become increasingly aware of how emotionally wounded she was by our break-up and how remorseful she was for the mistakes she made.
A few months ago I asked her out for coffee somewhere, not as a date, but mainly to give her an outlet to be her genuine self--as an INTP in a world engulfed by SPs and SJs at almost every turn, I believe I can partially identify with the sense of alienation and solitude that some INFPs report. I could tell that she really enjoyed herself, as her emotions have always seemed to express themselves automatically and unequivocally, and I'm also not sure if I've ever seen her that overflowingly happy.
We've gone out to talk a couple more times since then with practically the same aforementioned results each time, although we've stayed out progressively longer each time. I also have to admit that at our most recent night out she was at the most attractive I've ever seen her, with the outfit she wore and the way she had arranged her hair. And it also seemed to me that she wanted to hug before we left with the way she somewhat abruptly turned and directly faced me, and a few other nonverbal actions of hers occurring simultaneously with that repositioning also seemed to suggest this--although here I may simply be overanalyzing or misperceiving the situation.
Unfortunately, I've personally experienced an internal emotional reaction each time we've gone out, these emotional reactions seem to be getting stronger, and I've realized that the concept of living as though I have no emotional nature is immature and foolish. It would be a complete lie for me to say anything other than the fact that I'm not sure if I've ever perceived time to move so fast as when we've gone out together.
In light of all this, I wonder if I should give her another chance. She completely broke my trust before I broke up with her, and with the way a few certain circumstances currently are I'd be hesitant to trust her again. On the other hand, it's obvious that she's matured as a person since our break-up, her moral standards have improved significantly (we're both Christian), one of the factors inhibiting my trust for her is apparently diminishing, and I'm somewhat confident for a number of reasons that if I asked to date her again, she would say yes.
Of course, this is a highly compacted depiction of what's taken place, but I would very much appreciate if any of you INFPs would be so kind as to reveal any insights, thoughts, feelings, or advice pertinent to this situation. I suspect that you could understand or empathize with this INFP's experiences and feelings more accurately than I can, which is why I'm deferring to you guys for advice and "detective work."
Thanks in advance.