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Discussion Starter #1
so I know this boy. I was drawn to him the moment I saw him; it was at the welcome reception for new physics majors at school my sophomore year, and he was sitting all by himself in a chair while people nervously buzzed around him starting awkward conversations and trying to get to know each other. he was just eating a slice of pizza like it was no one's business. that's a pretty good summary of him -- he's really quiet, and seems totally at ease with himself and being alone. an introvert to be sure! anyway, I got to know him, and I don't know if he's interested in me. he always seems very open and excitable to the idea of us hanging out, but is usually out of town when I suggest actual times. we did hang out a couple of times though, and I think we both had a lot of fun. I even asked him to my dorm's semi-formal, to which he said he was almost entirely certain he could make it but had to check his schedule, before he got back to me later and said that he actually had a concert he said he'd go to that day (he even put an unhappy face after his message, I still remember). I think he might have a girlfriend, and November last year, after I was just sick of all the guessing, I texted him asking if he had a girlfriend when the conversation drifted towards the topic. his response?

"mehbe ;)"

so I took that as a yes. but still, I can't forget him. I don't think I've liked anyone this much before, and this crush has lasted all the way to the beginning of my senior year. I don't know if he actually has a girlfriend, if they're still together... whatever. should I keep asking him to do stuff, or should I have taken that as a hint from him? or is he just so introverted, even more than I am, so he never wants to initiate anything with me, even just as friends? if he had a girlfriend, why didn't he just tell me straight up? I'm pretty sure that all the times he was out of town he was visiting her, and I've asked him a couple of times who he's visiting, and he's never once mentioned a girlfriend. I think I like him enough that I'm willing to take some grief on his behalf, but not if it's going to make me seem the fool. I feel like I should just let go, even if I still don't know for sure if he's single, but I'm finding it really hard just to take all the signs and make a rational decision telling myself to move on.

what do you people think I should do? have you been in similar situations? how do you move on?
 

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I'd look at it this way....
If he does in fact have a gf and he's never actually told you about her and he's being so evasive when you directly ask him, what kind of loyalty and respect is he showing to his gf? And if you were that gf, what kind of loyalty and respect would he show to you?
 

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Facebook stalk him and find out. Or befriend a friend of his and facebook stalk him and find out.

Also, I don't know why, but I appreciate your personality. I recommend you try hopping on the dating site plenty of fish, not necessarily to look for yourself (you can even set yourself to hidden), but just to read profiles. Sometimes you gain a lot of perspective on people when they're more "open" online. It's weird, but trust me~.


edit: You never move on, even when you start dating. You always wonder "what if" welcome to the world of regrets :D. That's why you either push it or deal with the consequences for seemingly ever.
 

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Kidnap, interrogate, release.

Whatever you do, don't roll over and give up. To me the 'mehbe' sounds like being too embarrassed to say no. Probably, he is fair game and should be treated as such.
 

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Ask him again and get a direct answer :dry:
the key is asking him when he least expects it, that way you know whether or not he is lying because if is lying, you will have caught him off guard.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I'd look at it this way....
If he does in fact have a gf and he's never actually told you about her and he's being so evasive when you directly ask him, what kind of loyalty and respect is he showing to his gf? And if you were that gf, what kind of loyalty and respect would he show to you?
For sure! I keep trying to tell myself that. I keep thinking that I wouldn't want to be with someone like him anyway, and even if I was wrong and he didn't have a girlfriend, it would probably be better for me to just move on and find someone that it wouldn't be such a pain to get with, you know? But, gah, I dunno, I think it's in part that I can't let go that I can't see anyone else I like as much as I like him.

It's really encouraging seeing all you who think that the 'mehbe ;)' was a positive sign, but I sort of took it as a sheepish 'ahhh you got me' sort of ... I dunno. Because he never mentioned her and I caught on anyway, sort of thing? I'm not really good with initiating things because I'm really shy, but if I really do have a chance here then I'm willing to step out of my comfort zone, especially if he's even more introverted than I am. But I also don't want to mistake his nicely telling me he has a girlfriend as introversion and keep trying like an idiot...

and in the end I don't know, is anything worth this much analyzing and de-analyzing and stressing? I know I have a ridiculously idealized view of the world, and maybe I just need to take my head out of the clouds.

oh, and he doesn't have a Facebook -- or at least he's completely unsearchable. and I don't think we have any mutual friends in common. to be honest I don't even know who his friends are. or if he has friends. I'm pretty sure he has friends. I thought I was introverted, but I think he's even more private than I am.
 

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mh, do you know his personality? He's an I for sure.. maybe you should try to find his personality. If you want of course.
You know, there's a chance that he doesn't have a GF, and maybe he sent this wink to see your reaction.
But then again, believe what you want ;P
 
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