I've been depressed for as long as I can remember, suicidal for three years now. There is nothing beautiful or good about my life. I'm ugly af, sensitive ah, dumbest girl ever, dysfunctional family that makes me go crazy and want to kill myself even more. I've always tried to be happy, to seek the good side in everything, as I know myself and the small thngs that could make me happy, but i've only ever known disappointement, pain, rejection and failure in my life. It's like I am a cursed person. I'm so unlovable that people who are nice and friendly to everyone would be awful only to me, something any other person would think i'm crazy if I told them, but that I have experienced endless times. I've always been confused throughout my life, not knowing how I should continue through my days being constantly torn between wanting to be happy and everything else that makes me hate myself. I'm so broken and hopeless I find death as my only solace.