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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What can I say? Yesterday was my first anniversary with my boyfriend, and I wasn't expecting what was going to happen.

So I went to work, and finished around 4:30pm, and said to him I would be there around 5ish, so I got there, and his sister answered the door, and his mum explained that he went out with his friend. I didn't think she meant he went drinking. He wouldn't have come back if she hadn't of rang him to say I was here.

So he came back after about 2 hours of my arriving. He came back drunk, you can imagine I was pissed. He said he sent a text, but I didn't get it. So I looked through his phone and found he said to his friends that he may be out later. So this made more angry. I got him a present and a card, and he got me nothing. (not that presents are everything)

I made him beg for an hour, but then I couldn't be arsed anymore, so I just gave in. I am still pissed though. Should I just let it fly, or leave him? I'm not bothered that he is seeing his friends, but of all days... Or possibly you could suggest how to deal with the situation.
 

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Did he know it was your anniversary ?
Did he know you were expecting something from him?
Either way, I wouldn't leave leave someone just cause of something like that.
What would be more important is how he handles it when you explain him how you felt about it.
Have you talked about how disappointed/pissed you are?
I wonder though if you love someone, how can you consider just leaving like that :/

So how I would handle it? Communication, loads of it.
But just words mean nothing, he has to act accordingly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Did he know it was your anniversary ?
Did he know you were expecting something from him?
Either way, I wouldn't leave leave someone just cause of something like that.
What would be more important is how he handles it when you explain him how you felt about it.
Have you talked about how disappointed/pissed you are?
I wonder though if you love someone, how can you consider just leaving like that :/

So how I would handle it? Communication, loads of it.
But just words mean nothing, he has to act accordingly.
1.Yes.
2.Yes, he said he would get me something.
3 I know, i'm just so angry at the moment.
4.He knows how dissapointed I am.
 

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I don't know dude. The 'just let it fly' option doesn't sound good though since maybe next year he'll beg for two hours before you give in.

Why doesn't he care about or like celebrating anniversaries?
 

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Iron Fist
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Maybe he doesn't value anniversaries? That, or he was running away from it? No cash? Commitment issues?

I say talk it out and try to hear his point of view before walking out :happy:
 

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Iron Fist
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Even if he doesn't, he knew it does matter for her, she expected it from him, if he didn't want that, then he should have talked about it before with her.
Not everyone is healthy or considerate. Or sometimes they just need to learn these things.

Maybe just have a talk before she leaves.
 

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A few years ago I was pretty much in this same situation. Here's how I phrased my concerns:
You knew this was important to me, and we made plans. I confirmed those plans the day of. I feel that you decided those plans were not convenient for you and instead of rescheduling for another time, you had me wait around for you while you had an affair with a bottle of Jack. I view this as very selfish behavior, and I do not think alcohol is a legitimate excuse because you knew prior to your drinking that we had those plans. Just because we have talked about it, does not mean I am not still upset with your actions.

Note: I did not raise my voice or directly accuse him. I used the "It feels like you're doing this, which makes me feel this way" approach, as to not raise the situation to hostile levels.
My situation might have been a bit different. The guy that did this to me was (probably still is) an alcoholic, and after 2 1/2 years I stopped trying to compete with Jack Daniels. I'm sorry you went through this, and I hope you find a solution.
 
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