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Can I join whatever social setting you hang out in? The people around me are too emotional.
 

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I am not into expressing emotion much at all, let along strongly and "in public". But, I don't mind if other people do it as long as they're being genuine. Attention whoring isn't welcome, but genuine distress/anger/grief/happiness is all good.

I think it's considered awkward because we live in an emotionally guarded society. Socially, emotional expressiveness is seen as less "appropriate" because it involves a display of vulnerability that makes people uncomfortable. When we aren't comfortable with our own emotions, it's difficult to empathize with another person's. That said, the only time I mind emotional scenes are when people are having juvenile outbursts in professional settings. I've already talked about my dislike of inauthentic emotional displays rooted in superficial rubbish. I find that quite idiotic. Other than this, people need to be more open and understanding.
 

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If its over the top not everyone will see it as genuine or necessary. I don't generally have emotional outburst in public, whether that be negative or positive. It can be awkward for those who don't enjoy it, like me. I don't mind when people have a reason, like excitement over something that has happened in their life. I can also be happy and excited for them. Although having to interact and express everything about your life in an emotional manner seems fake, and unrealistic. I love happy people, but.....to much of anything is just too much, it becomes tiring and draining.
 

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I think ESFJs especially can some times come across as offensive when they put too much emotional emphasis on banter and sarcasm in social situations.

It can really offend people if you let people know too much about what you're feeling in the spur of the moment.

You want people to be really engaged, but not to be offended by too much emotional triumph in something simple like sarcasm or banter.
 

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Why is showing strong emotion so frowned upon in social settings? I don't understand the negative connotation.
It's because strong emotion can make people feel uncomfortable ...
 
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I don't show my emotions and definitely do not let anyone to rule over it. Not everyone is safe.
 
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Emotions do a couple of things, one of which is to signal and communicate. A person who, in a place where people expect a more tranquil or professional environment, shows a lot of emotion can be signalling a lack of self control. Needless to say, people don't appreciate perceived immaturity.

Also, as most people have some level of empathy, when one is strongly emotional they are doing the same thing to other people's emotions as a person talking loudly does to other people's ears. This is especially bad when others can't fix the direct cause of the emotion, as it causes high levels of frustration.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I wonder sometimes if self-control is overrated. I'm perfectly able to temper my emotional responses, and entirely suppress them if need be. It's just that I'd rather not. It doesn't feel good. I'm reasonably empathic myself, and I'm careful not to make my expression feel 'bad' to other people.

Maybe it seems 'fake' because you don't yourself experience it. I've always wondered if I were more sensitive than other people, perhaps significantly more sensitive. This isn't an easy question to answer.
 

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Why is showing strong emotion so frowned upon in social settings? I don't understand the negative connotation.
Depends on where you are and the conversation. Debating brings out strong emotions, natrually. However, If someone where to come up to me and starts showing strong emotions out of nowhere..., of course one would be turned off. Its weird in my opinion...lol
 

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I'm not sure what you mean by strong emotion. I generally think that is quite accepted. Strong emotion is different from throwing a hissy fit, and if you mean hissy fit then that is simply inconsiderate and childish. It is inconsiderate because you imply to others that your problems are worse than everyone elses and dismiss everyone elses daily problems as nothing. It is a bit like 'look at me'. In the positive sense, I've never known giggling and laughing to be looked down upon but I guess in certain settings it can get rather disturbing if people are trying to relax or concentrate on something. It really boils down to it being quite inconsiderate because you are not the only person who has things to feel strongly about and so we all show respect but showing some discretion. You can still be very honest and very expressive without being overly animated, I think. And again, it depends where you are.
 

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You can still be very honest and very expressive without being overly animated, I think.
Why is being 'animated' bad? I'm not quite sure that I catch your drift.

Generally, I prefer for the people who I'm around to be open with their feelings. It's better that way. If someone's angry with me, I'd rather have them spit it out than keep it inside. If I'm doing something that offends them, I can't fix it unless they tell me what it is.
 

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Insightful.
You have to find a balance of not being to guarded, allowing some people into your inner world. Not everyone is deserving as some people will trample over it because they don't care enough or not sensitive. You get to choose who you let into your world and we fear it it because we fear being hurt. Being able to be hurt also allows for intense happiness :)

Lot of men with hold their emotions, people dislike drama queens. We like positivity and people who put down positive people are usually some what cynical and claim to be realists and are unhappy with something themselves.
 

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I usually have a neutral facial expression a majority of the time. This makes me not look angry, but not overly happy either. You could say it's in between which is sometimes good. Expressing happyness I have no problem with in social situations, but if I were to be feeling sad or angry, I would not let anyone know about it. Maybe I am just stubborn and bottle up emotions. I also don't like when strangers ask what's wrong because I feel it's none of their business in the first place. The last time I threw a hissy fit was when I was a child, but you would be surprised at how many adults whine and complain to get what they want. A good example of this is when you go to a fast food restaurant because everyone's in a hurry and seems to have no patience. It also depends on your culture as well. In western culture it's acceptable to get angry, even in a public place if it's for a good reason. In many Eastern cultures, people would look at you funny for getting angry in public and not being in control of your emotions.
 

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Why is being 'animated' bad? I'm not quite sure that I catch your drift.

Generally, I prefer for the people who I'm around to be open with their feelings. It's better that way. If someone's angry with me, I'd rather have them spit it out than keep it inside. If I'm doing something that offends them, I can't fix it unless they tell me what it is.
Oh no, I totally agree with you, there is nothing wrong with being honest. By animated I mean like those girls you see on telly who are like "OH. MY. GAWD. AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE AND HE WAS LIKE " and then you hear them scream in unison. I said earlier in my post that I thought showing strong feelings was generally not looked down on, but throwing a hissy fit is something different. Does that make sense? I guess I meant when people create a huge scene.
 
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