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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
This topic has developed beyond the scope of the original post. This post is left intact to provide a full narrative of the discussion, which is no longer focused upon it.

I've found that I have an exaggerated need for uniqueness in my self, and when this is encroached upon I feel the desire to "shut down" the offending party. This is in the sense of deliberately preventing them from doing so by determining their weak points, and more importantly a way of using those weak points to effectively demonstrate to them that they should not proceed, then utilising this information when the need arises.

The desire for uniqueness and the corresponding boundary aren't negative. Even the abuse of their weaknesses isn't exactly negative, it was simply the best way to ensure they would get the point the first time, thus preventing me from having to go at it a second time.

(Please note that I've never described these actions before, so they may not be exactly correct. They're within the acceptable margins of error, though.)


ANYWAY, do you have times where you feel the need to "shut people down"? Care to explain?
 

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Damn, I used to do this a long time ago back in my emotionally unhealthy days. I think I did this when someone was getting too much attention, or if a girl I liked was fawning over some jack-ass. What I never realized at the is that this made me out to be an insecure ass-hole (which I obviously was).

I think this phenomenon has something to do with projecting the INTP defense mechanisms that keep Fe at bay into the social sphere.
 

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I've found that I have an exaggerated need for uniqueness in my self, and when this is encroached upon I feel the desire to "shut down" the offending party. This is in the sense of deliberately preventing them from doing so by determining their weak points, and more importantly a way of using those weak points to effectively demonstrate to them that they should not proceed, then utilising this information when the need arises.

The desire for uniqueness and the corresponding boundary aren't negative. Even the abuse of their weaknesses isn't exactly negative, it was simply the best way to ensure they would get the point the first time, thus preventing me from having to go at it a second time.

(Please note that I've never described these actions before, so they may not be exactly correct. They're within the acceptable margins of error, though.)


ANYWAY, do you have times where you feel the need to "shut people down"? Care to explain?
No..

Are you sure you aren't INFP? What you describe as desire for uniqueness sounds like Fi, and your description of shutting down people by going for their weak point sounds like an inferior Te explosion.
 

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What you're doing sounds unhealthy, greedy and insecure.

There are few times when someone needs to be "shut down" IMO. This is primarily when someone is unnecessarily trying to show their power, uniqueness, intelligence, self righteousness, authority etc... Those are the people I shut down.

Some examples:

The thug with a power trip causing problems on my street - I shut them down
The Boss that abuses their authority - I shut them down
The person in my class that consistantly try's to demonstrate they know more than the teacher - I shut them down
The people at DMV that have an unhealthy amount of self-entitlement that slows down the process for everyone - I shut them down

etc etc etc.

Shutting people down is fun, and can be addicting, but it should be reserved for those situations where they need to be shut down not just for you, but for the other people around them too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
No..

Are you sure you aren't INFP? What you describe as desire for uniqueness sounds like Fi, and your description of shutting down people by going for their weak point sounds like an inferior Te explosion.
MBTI assessments point me at INTP 80% of the time and INTJ the remainder of the time. Cognitive function assessments tell me I've got high Fi, but still identify Ti and Ne... Something along the lines of Ti-Fi-Ne, which could be the problem.

The drive for uniqueness mainly persists because I was excluded by my peers since I could remember. I suppose the issue is that I feel the need to understand why I was cast out.

I think an important note is that not all threads can be happy ones, some have to address problems too. It's very likely that this problem has arisen before, and I'm just confronting it before it develops further. Hopefully this can be resolved and I can leave this thread behind for others.

@Castironpan
The entire negative side of the INTP type is unhealthy, greedy and insecure. Just like the negative side of any type.
@EmotionallyTonedGeometry
Thank you for your honesty and viewpoint. Did you grow out of it over time, or take steps to remove the behavior?
 

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I just feel like I need to get away from people and when I have spent too much time with people socialising, I get cranky and irritable and that's when I start shutting people off - being rude and irrational and just plain cranky.

And I become painfully straightforward with obvious perverts lol. When guys ask me out like this one time this guy asked me if I would kiss him and I was like "Ummm no." when it would've been more diplomatic to say "Well you're a nice guy but I can't imagine myself doing that with you."
 

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@EmotionallyTonedGeometry
Thank you for your honesty and viewpoint. Did you grow out of it over time, or take steps to remove the behavior?
No problem. I've grow quite a bit and have become a lot less selfish. Ego is at the hub of the "shutting down" behavior. Now, like @Castironpan mentions, I still bust it out for altruistic purposes.
 

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This topic has developed beyond the scope of the original post. This post is left intact to provide a full narrative of the discussion, which is no longer focused upon it.

I've found that I have an exaggerated need for uniqueness in my self, and when this is encroached upon I feel the desire to "shut down" the offending party. This is in the sense of deliberately preventing them from doing so by determining their weak points, and more importantly a way of using those weak points to effectively demonstrate to them that they should not proceed, then utilising this information when the need arises.

The desire for uniqueness and the corresponding boundary aren't negative. Even the abuse of their weaknesses isn't exactly negative, it was simply the best way to ensure they would get the point the first time, thus preventing me from having to go at it a second time.

(Please note that I've never described these actions before, so they may not be exactly correct. They're within the acceptable margins of error, though.)


ANYWAY, do you have times where you feel the need to "shut people down"? Care to explain?
Some months ago I wrote to a police officer who is the HRM and the think-thank of their police unit :

- Or you are a Quasi Intellectual Sheeple
- Or you use techniques to make me unstable in my weak points as : F.O.G., Ridicule and so on.

But's okay that you are not so smart as me, at least 132 IQ and being and INTP, but it is to us to pull the weakest (in IQ) to learn and to put all on another higher level. I was in some moments pretty angry due the feel somebody used my fear due PTSD, to bend me in my opinions. And I was die-hard on paper back.

Can't write the details here, but I said one thing : I am suicide for years (being a transsexual lady), but I am to rebellious to kill myself and better kill the other one. ANd they know this ...

All people try to change ME, cause my opinion to say something is broken : cause it MUST be on a polite way ! Why ?

Lara. (Yes, when I see the limit in my elastic to stretch oh oh, only being TS is a nightmare for counter actions against me)
 

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What you're doing sounds unhealthy, greedy and insecure.

There are few times when someone needs to be "shut down" IMO. This is primarily when someone is unnecessarily trying to show their power, uniqueness, intelligence, self righteousness, authority etc... Those are the people I shut down.

Some examples:

The thug with a power trip causing problems on my street - I shut them down
The Boss that abuses their authority - I shut them down
The person in my class that consistantly try's to demonstrate they know more than the teacher - I shut them down
The people at DMV that have an unhealthy amount of self-entitlement that slows down the process for everyone - I shut them down

etc etc etc.

Shutting people down is fun, and can be addicting, but it should be reserved for those situations where they need to be shut down not just for you, but for the other people around them too.
If it is possible with good build reasons against their Quasi Intellectual behavior YES.

Or the moment they got over your limits, the abuse of your weak-points : What I saw happen to me.

Having PTSD and someone playing a fine game, made my PTSD more worse : I can not accept that.

On nobody ! I saw Transphobia / Transhate in a nice wicked way to me ...

... On a letter with 9 sentences ...

... They had signed, in a professional way : 9 pages back. Guess they were surprised !

Lara.
 

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... And I become painfully straightforward with obvious perverts lol. When guys ask me out like this one time this guy asked me if I would kiss him and I was like "Ummm no." when it would've been more diplomatic to say "Well you're a nice guy but I can't imagine myself doing that with you."
Be yourself, the last answer is made and learned through cultures that all woman cannot say immediately NO to a men, to give them a GOOD feeling when they go wrong. But if I do not as that, I must be a men ... for them. They were not handled as supposed to be. A 'No' is a 'No', either how. I get crazy if I tell to my parents I will say my opinion to them, They say : " But do it on a polite manner. ". All people I know, and I get cranky indeed angry : Cause Lara is always wrong - Then they have all excuses as : " Yeah Lara, when you smile back, they cannot find a new weapon against you Lara. ".


Why I am loving this movie ?! Cause I like to play with my OLD voice :) Lara.
 

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lt does sound like Fi:cool:

Maybe tertiary, INTJ.

l can recognize some snowflake tendencies within myself and l do think l have a tendency toward that. l'd never defend them though, and ultimately l don't really feel justified in my uniqueness, just for the sake of being unique.

l do sometimes steamroll, perhaps a few days out of each month l will suddenly possess the ability to apply Te logic to any fool who is in need of it.

The rest of the time l'm not really capable of reproducing that, and Te logic makes me scared.
 

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I don't relate. I have back and forth feelings about my similarity/dissimilarity to others, from wondering if I'm a lot like them or more of an "outsider," and then back and forth in whether or not I like either potential. I'd definitely say I don't have a big drive to be "unique" though, and I don't think I ever really have. I tend to see everyone as being so similar in the grand scheme that any trait of a person is so often matched by enough people in the population that not many people really pack a very unusual single trait, and not many people are very "unique" in general. People who fancy themselves special snowflakes or who try to seek out the title/sense of it actually tend to make me wanna roll my eyes.
 

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I've found that I have an exaggerated need for uniqueness in my self, and when this is encroached upon I feel the desire to "shut down" the offending party. This is in the sense of deliberately preventing them from doing so by determining their weak points, and more importantly a way of using those weak points to effectively demonstrate to them that they should not proceed, then utilising this information when the need arises.


The desire for uniqueness and the corresponding boundary aren't negative. Even the abuse of their weaknesses isn't exactly negative, it was simply the best way to ensure they would get the point the first time, thus preventing me from having to go at it a second time.


(Please note that I've never described these actions before, so they may not be exactly correct. They're within the acceptable margins of error, though.)




ANYWAY, do you have times where you feel the need to "shut people down"? Care to explain?
When I was younger I often felt (and acted on) a desire to shut down people, but for other reasons than the one you state. As I matured and became less angry at the world, this desire melted into the background.


I'm curious about how your need for uniqueness expresses itself, and how you would characterise the need. Could you elaborate?
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I'm curious about how your need for uniqueness expresses itself, and how you would characterise the need. Could you elaborate?
One of the primary items is that I constantly second guess myself and my abilities. I've gone through three professionally administered IQ tests because people called my intelligence into question. A year ago I even considered getting a certification from Oracle to prove my abilities with Java, because those were called into question.
Another prominent one is that I constantly try to find measures with which to "objectively" identify the ways in which I differ from others, and consequently how they differ from me and each other.

So its primary constituents are probably just self doubt and some strange inferiority complex, though people typically would assume the opposite complex. I also feel like I've been passed up on a number of opportunities, such as going to college early or taking "advanced" classes. (feeling slighted) I do try to keep it in check, because I'm fully aware of what could happen, the implications and the lack of efficiency resulting from loss of self control.

That's where the shutting down comes in, I feel like if I don't do it when someone crosses the threshold then I'll end up crying in a corner somewhere moaning over my perceived worthlessness. (whoa, when did my psyche get this messed up?)

It also comes up when I start trying to manipulate my behavior to remove negative attributes. This could be a contributor, as removing all perceived negative attributes, which had to be perceived by other people, would make you practically nothing. If I'm nothing I at least need to be a distinct portion of nothingness. :p

Sorry for the rant, I hope I answered your questions... hope... xD
 

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One of the primary items is that I constantly second guess myself and my abilities. I've gone through three professionally administered IQ tests because people called my intelligence into question. A year ago I even considered getting a certification from Oracle to prove my abilities with Java, because those were called into question.
Another prominent one is that I constantly try to find measures with which to "objectively" identify the ways in which I differ from others, and consequently how they differ from me and each other.


So its primary constituents are probably just self doubt and some strange inferiority complex, though people typically would assume the opposite complex. I also feel like I've been passed up on a number of opportunities, such as going to college early or taking "advanced" classes. (feeling slighted) I do try to keep it in check, because I'm fully aware of what could happen, the implications and the lack of efficiency resulting from loss of self control.


That's where the shutting down comes in, I feel like if I don't do it when someone crosses the threshold then I'll end up crying in a corner somewhere moaning over my perceived worthlessness. (whoa, when did my psyche get this messed up?)


It also comes up when I start trying to manipulate my behavior to remove negative attributes. This could be a contributor, as removing all perceived negative attributes, which had to be perceived by other people, would make you practically nothing. If I'm nothing I at least need to be a distinct portion of nothingness. :p


Sorry for the rant, I hope I answered your questions... hope... xD
Thanks, that was a very enlightening description and I think I understand exactly what you're going through and I've been in a very similar situation myself, with a very similar expression. I think you've pin-pointed the relevant attributes causing this very succinctly.


I'd describe the main factor roughly as “performance anxiety”, and the fact that you have connected this to your sense of self-worth as the catalyst. Your strategy of trying to strengthen your identity by defining it in ways where it differs from others probably reinforces this negative feedback loop, and will obviously cause social blow back which isn't constructive.


You seem to have an exceptionally clear idea of your interior workings, although I don't agree that your psyche is that messed up. My spontaneous guess would be that one or both of your parents created this problem by imprinting you with a connection between your intellectual performance and your worth as a human being.


My idea would be for you to do some completely counter-intuitive things and see what happens. For example focusing on similarities and build relationships rather than strengthening your individuality. And practicing “body scanning” or conscious breathing to help you relax and explore your emotional connections and states in a non-controlling way.


You're already smart enough and individual enough, trying harder will just reinforce the negative feedback loop you're stuck in. The only way to stop such a loop is to step out of it and stay out of it for a while until it loses its emotional control over you.


If I come off as presumptuous by advising you I apologize. I just recognize the pattern from my own previous self and want to offer an alternative to your current situation, in case you are interested in one.
 
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"Shutting people down" appears to be the sole reason that INTJ's post in [INTP] threads.
It's the J-types need for closure and control that conflicts with us P-types need for flexibility and creativity. They're just trying to help us and fix us. Look at it as a form of showing affection between us NT people. ;)
 

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"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them... I destroy them" - ANON
 

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This topic has developed beyond the scope of the original post. This post is left intact to provide a full narrative of the discussion, which is no longer focused upon it.

I've found that I have an exaggerated need for uniqueness in my self, and when this is encroached upon I feel the desire to "shut down" the offending party. This is in the sense of deliberately preventing them from doing so by determining their weak points, and more importantly a way of using those weak points to effectively demonstrate to them that they should not proceed, then utilising this information when the need arises.

The desire for uniqueness and the corresponding boundary aren't negative. Even the abuse of their weaknesses isn't exactly negative, it was simply the best way to ensure they would get the point the first time, thus preventing me from having to go at it a second time.

(Please note that I've never described these actions before, so they may not be exactly correct. They're within the acceptable margins of error, though.)


ANYWAY, do you have times where you feel the need to "shut people down"? Care to explain?
Whatever I am, I do this. It drains my energy do 'argue' with people. I like a healthy argumented discussion from which I can learn something, but when it lasts too long it's just too much (introvert?). Also, many people have a negative or no any useful influence on me. I don't care about being different just for the sake of being different, but I dislike the idea of my potentials remaining undeveloped and my individuality crippled.
 
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