[InsomniacForLife]

Hey everyone, I was wondering if there are any shy ENFPs on here? I am an ENFP who thought I must be introverted for the longest time, but I have come to the conclusion that I must be a shy extrovert. Any other ENFPs like this? What's it like for you, being a shy ENFP?

Also, I am extroverted, but shallow conversation usually does not fill my extroverted needs. I think that's why I thought I was introverted for the longest time. I really love being around people, but the conversations hardly ever satisfy me, since they are on the surface, and 90% of the time lack depth. I am not sure if other ENFPs relate to this either.

I still debate from time to time if I am introverted, but I just seem to be too extroverted to be introverted. I have heard that ENFPs are known as the most introverted extroverts, which would make a lot of sense!

 

[Judson Joist]

Did you experience anything early in life that induced recurring anxiety? Social anxiety, performance anxiety, or whatnot. That sort of thing afflicts extroverts and introverts alike and it typically starts in school.

 

[angelcat]

I'm fairly reserved / don't approach people first / am uncomfortable until I've spent some time with them. I guess that could be seen as shy.

 

[InsomniacForLife]

Did you experience anything early in life that induced recurring anxiety? Social anxiety, performance, anxiety, or whatnot. That sort of thing afflicts extroverts and introverts alike and it typically starts in school.

I mean, I was never fully "diagnosed" with anxiety, but I think I had it in high school. I'm 19 now so I feel like I'm just starting to get out of that. I was pretty shy in high school. I'm still shy but just not to as large of an extent. I don't really know what the difference between social anxiety and shyness are, but I've probably had both of them to different extents at some point.

Overall though, there wasn't some defining incident that would have caused me to have social anxiety. I feel like in middle and high school I had some mean friends who constantly criticized me and made me the butt of the jokes, which at first I didn't mind because I love making people laugh, but eventually got out of hand and I ended up feeling super insecure and lacked most confidence. I think this caused me to withdrawal, because eventually I was just like, fine, I won't show any sides of myself, since people seem to always have something negative to say. This caused me to become really reserved, so that people couldn't hurt or criticize me anymore, even though I was not happy being reserved in this way.

There may have been other moments in my life that have caused me to become shy and anxious in social situations, but I don't really know what else they would be.

 

[Judson Joist]

Called it.

Based on what I've read about social anxiety though, I definitely had it. I probably still have it

It never fully goes away, but you can bend it to your will and use it to strengthen your ability to empathize with others.

there wasn't some defining incident that would have caused me to have social anxiety.

It's almost never caused by a single isolated incident. It's typically caused by recurring instances of injustice, being overburdened with tasks, or unwarranted judgment from others.

I feel like in middle and high school I had some mean friends who constantly criticized me and made me the butt of the jokes

Textbook tendencies of "normal" children and teens (more's the pity). Not to sound cynical (just realistic).

I love making people laugh

Me too. It's different when they're laughing at our souls, though.

got out of hand and I ended up feeling super insecure and lacked most confidence.

You're not alone.

I think this caused me to withdraw, because eventually I was just like, fine, I won't show any sides of myself, since people seem to always have something negative to say.

I bet you would never do the same to others, though. Use those lessons as examples of what not to be like.

This caused me to become really reserved, so that people couldn't hurt or criticize me anymore, even though I was not happy being reserved in this way.

Just know that you're not alone.

 

[InsomniacForLife]

Thank you :happy: Yeah I mean, I wouldn't say I had a bad school experience at all. I had some bad friends but I know this is common for people at some point in their lives, typically in their teen years when people are immature. I'm just guessing that's what has caused the social anxiety to build up over the years. But I wouldn't change a thing and yes you're right, everything I've experienced is a way for me to empathize more with other people who struggle.

 

[Falling Foxes]

Shy ENFPs are really common. If you were not doubting your extraversion I would actually doubt your 'ENFP-ness'. We all go through this, anxiety or not.

 

[InsomniacForLife]

Shy ENFPs are really common. If you were not doubting your extraversion I would actually doubt your 'ENFP-ness'. We all go through this, anxiety or not.

Good to know! Also, I just read the differences between social anxiety and being shy, and I think I'm just shy. It takes me awhile to open up to people, but social anxiety seems like an extreme version of shyness, which I've never had. I just always questioned my extrovert-ness because of my shy tendencies.

Why would you question if I was an ENFP though if I didn't ever question my extroversion?

 

[L P]

There's no such thing as ashy ENFP XD!

 

[Falling Foxes]

Good to know! Also, I just read the differences between social anxiety and being shy, and I think I'm just shy. It takes me awhile to open up to people, but social anxiety seems like an extreme version of shyness, which I've never had. I just always questioned my extrovert-ness because of my shy tendencies.

Why would you question if I was an ENFP though if I didn't ever question my extroversion?

Cause the question is so commonly asked that I practically see the questioning of extraversion as an ENFP trait now. Ne-Fi loop keeps you questioning and Fi makes you seem more withdrawn than a full blown extravert.

Even if we might not externally seem 'shy' to others, we often feel introverted.

 

[Falling Foxes]

There's no such thing as ashy ENFP XD!

That's just because you can get an ENFP to ramble for hours probably

 

[L P]

That's just because you can get an ENFP to ramble for hours probably

That's just because an ENFP goes up to ANY person and loves to ramble for hours probably lol.

 

[Falling Foxes]

That's just because an ENFP goes up to ANY person and loves to ramble for hours probably lol.

You'd be surprised! Not really, you have a bias perspective being an INFP. I'd ramble to any INxx.

 

[L P]

You'd be surprised! Not really, you have a bias perspective being an INFP. I'd ramble to any INxx.

Hahaa lol. INs are so quiet you can't help but fill the silence lol.

 

[InsomniacForLife]

You'd be surprised! Not really, you have a bias perspective being an INFP. I'd ramble to any INxx.

This is true. I don't ramble to anybody! Only people that I know will listen

 

[NIHM]

Hey everyone, I was wondering if there are any shy ENFPs on here? I am an ENFP who thought I must be introverted for the longest time, but I have come to the conclusion that I must be a shy extrovert. Any other ENFPs like this? What's it like for you, being a shy ENFP?

Also, I am extroverted, but shallow conversation usually does not fill my extroverted needs. I think that's why I thought I was introverted for the longest time. I really love being around people, but the conversations hardly ever satisfy me, since they are on the surface, and 90% of the time lack depth. I am not sure if other ENFPs relate to this either.

I still debate from time to time if I am introverted, but I just seem to be too extroverted to be introverted. I have heard that ENFPs are known as the most introverted extroverts, which would make a lot of sense!

ENFPs are probably one of the largest ambivert groups. We can be outgoing because our brains won't shut up Ne but be extremely shy as well because of our Fi. I know in a lot of situations I would rather be in a familiar setting than be forced to entertain a thousand strangers.

Shy ENFPs are really common. If you were not doubting your extraversion I would actually doubt your 'ENFP-ness'. We all go through this, anxiety or not.

100% this. I can't count how many times I've doubted whether I'm an introvert or extrovert. ENFPs identify strongly as ambiverts.

 

[NIHM]

That's just because an ENFP goes up to ANY person and loves to ramble for hours probably lol.

Not really. I can ramble to strangers as a nervous tick I can't shut down but it hardly means I want to be in their presence. I hate parties for that very reason. I would rather be home in my PJs with a best friend over than submit my weird over talkative brain at a party. Communicating to a stranger for hours really diminishes me and the worst part is the berating internal-self that will scold on the way home for being a chatterbox. I'm sure some random person has driven by me at a light while I'm talking out loud to myself going, "No, Nicole that was not polite or they didn't want to hear your explanation of why you like the new Star Trek series Discovery."

We don't talk to everyone because we like it. So my correction on your stereotyped sentence would be this, "That's just because an ENFP goes up to ANY person and rambles for hours but they do not enjoy it or love it."

Ne is we think externally, meaning typing this up I'm talking out loud. It makes it easier for me to contemplate faster when I'm talking out loud. Thinking internally almost hurts because I can become very judgemental towards myself. Ne does not mean introvert and extrovert like the usual dictionary explanation of shy or outgoing. Jung classifies as the Internal thinker or External thinker. Even then it's just a preference. More often than not because we're also high in Fi, we're going to come off shy too about our emotions.

 

[InsomniacForLife]

Not really. I can ramble to strangers as a nervous tick I can't shut down but it hardly means I want to be in their presence. I hate parties for that very reason. I would rather be home in my PJs with a best friend over than submit my weird over talkative brain at a party. Communicating to a stranger for hours really diminishes me and the worst part is the berating internal-self that will scold on the way home for being a chatterbox. I'm sure some random person has driven by me at a light while I'm talking out loud to myself going, "No, Nicole that was not polite or they didn't want to hear your explanation of why you like the new Star Trek series Discovery."

We don't talk to everyone because we like it. So my correction on your stereotyped sentence would be this, "That's just because an ENFP goes up to ANY person and rambles for hours but they do not enjoy it or love it."

Ne is we think externally, meaning typing this up I'm talking out loud. It makes it easier for me to contemplate faster when I'm talking out loud. Thinking internally almost hurts because I can become very judgemental towards myself. Ne does not mean introvert and extrovert like the usual dictionary explanation of shy or outgoing. Jung classifies as the Internal thinker or External thinker. Even then it's just a preference. More often than not because we're also high in Fi, we're going to come off shy too about our emotions.

Damn, I relate super strongly to all of that. That all makes sense.

 

[Cherry]

Sometimes I think I'm just a shy ENFP
but other times I think I'm an INFP with courage

I think maybe...I'm just def an ambivert haha. Somewhere in the middle. You could be that?

 

[InsomniacForLife]

Sometimes I think I'm just a shy ENFP
but other times I think I'm an INFP with courage

I think maybe...I'm just def an ambivert haha. Somewhere in the middle. You could be that?

No doubt in my mind that I'm an ambivert. Every single test I've taken, I usually end up with almost 50/50 introvert/extrovert scores. Tests obviously have tons of flaws in them though. So, besides even all the tests, I've had close friends tell me that I'm the definition of an ambivert, and being an ambivert also makes sense to me personally.

But, someone has to lean one way slightly more right? Basically, I still relate to almost all things INFPs talk about, and ENFPs talk about. From what I've heard though, INFPs tend to KNOW they're introverts, and, from what ENFPs are saying, it's common for us to doubt our introversion vs extroversion quite often.