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Are you shy, outgoing, or in between?

  • I'm pretty shy

    Votes: 32 26.7%
  • I'm right in the middle

    Votes: 60 50.0%
  • I'm pretty outgoing

    Votes: 28 23.3%

  • Total voters
    120
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Discussion Starter #1
A lot of INFPs are mistyped ENFPs. I've tested as INFP at least as often as ENFP. I'm just wondering, are there any ENFPs who would rather stay in on a Friday night than go to a big public event? Perhaps ones who have a group of close friends but have trouble getting to know people?
 

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I'd have to say I'm pretty outgoing even though I seem really shy x) I can approach anyone or start talking to random people but for the most part I just don't bother x) but I love going to concerts and meeting people there :D but if I feel out of place I'll be pretty quiet I guess it depends on my mood x)
 

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Depends on what 'phase' I'm in at the time. I love exploring new things and meeting new people, I love LOVE forming interesting and new connections... but if I'm all burnt out or tired then interacting with people is the last thing I want the do.

I had an ENFP friend staying with me for two weeks and we were out every single day almost. Meeting people, eating out, etc. One evening we walked into a place that was just FULL of people and in an instant, the both of us just shut down and enough was enough. We actually ended up blowing everyone off and went and grabbed pizza and beer and spent the night at home vegging out on tumblr.
 

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I'd rather stay in or go to small gatherings. I don't have the drive or motivation for crowed places any more. I think it depends at what stage you are at in life. For me my priorities changed, my interest and activities. All through University up until i met my husband i loved to socialize, often. I still do like to go out, although not on a regular bases. I like being at home doing my own thing. I worked my way through University in a night club, always surrounded by people. I find it quite easy to talk with people when i'm out, i just don't venture out as much. Having friends over on the weekend drinking wine, or staying in reading a good book is equal entertaining for me.

People drain me easily, i have to be in the mood.

I've never tested INFP. I think lots of people get the wrong impression with what an ENFP would look like. Some of us can easily work a room engaging with lots of people and go unnoticed. We can appear introverted watching everything roll on by. Then you might have the attention whores who want to be noticed by everyone, ya know look at me, i think it really depends on the ENFP in question.

Socializing has nothing to do with being an introvert or extrovert.
 

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I often type as INFP and am thinking of changing my personality on this site to that. I do tend to be shy sometimes, and sometimes being around people tires me out and I have to get away from them. I love Fridays not because of the fact it’s the weekend and now I can go party and yay! I love Fridays because I think “YES, now I can relax, not worry about obligations and just do whatever I want without social pressure.” Then again, being alone too long depresses me and I do like getting to know people – Ok I just went in a circle. :/ But to answer your question, I usually would prefer to stay in on a Friday or just hang out with some close friend, who I can be lazy and deep around, and who won’t expect me to entertain or be bubbly.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Oh thank goodness, I was starting to wonder if it was just me.

I think Ne is much more picky about what energizes it. Some people can, some people can't. It can also be energized by an interesting idea or a good book or movie. I find that I'm drained when around some people but charged to the max with others. Other extroverted functions don't seem to be as picky. I guess that's why ENFPs tend to come off as introverts.

But that is odd because my boyfriend is an ENTP and he's incredibly outgoing, to the point where he has to drag me to social functions. You'd think he'd be the same way...
 

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I'm in between.

I used to be extremely extremely shy. Like, painfully so. Like, my kindergarten teacher had to sit my parents down to talk about it because she was concerned about how successful I was going to be able to be due to the shyness.

I got much more outgoing beginning in early high school. I'm definitely not shy anymore. I can be quiet, but not shy really at all. I have no issues striking up conversation with strangers, and really do enjoy meeting people. This doesn't mean that I like to be out all the time though, mainly because it feels like I have to be 'on' all the time, which is exhausting. I like going out sometimes, and I certainly would prefer spending time with other people 9 times out of 10, but I am very much a fan of small and intimate groups and low-key hang-outs.
 

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Yeah I'm in between as well. I wouldn't really characterize myself as exactly shy, but as @Nadej said sometimes quiet. There are times I'm most comfortable just observing people and am not interested enough to join in the conversation.

I was actually more talkative and extroverted when I was younger but adults can be very boring. I don't really try to fake interest in a conversation and lots of them aren't interesting so I'll just listen and learn what I can about the people talking rather than the subject at hand. Or I'll go do something more personally rewarding. I can entertain myself really well.
 

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I got much more outgoing beginning in early high school. I'm definitely not shy anymore. I can be quiet, but not shy really at all. I have no issues striking up conversation with strangers, and really do enjoy meeting people. This doesn't mean that I like to be out all the time though, mainly because it feels like I have to be 'on' all the time, which is exhausting. I like going out sometimes, and I certainly would prefer spending time with other people 9 times out of 10, but I am very much a fan of small and intimate groups and low-key hang-outs.
i think this, to a certain extent. i'm definitely much quieter than i used to be these days and have mellowed out from turning a little crazy in college and traveling.

i definitely think some people think i am shy when they first meet me, just because i say so little, either that or they might think i was a little brooding or serious- but this is more just an intentional wall i put up in case there is the possibility of a genuine connection with someone; i don't think there's anything more harmful to a potential connection than to come over the top too quickly. sometimes i can feel quiet shy too, but usually i find once i start talking and find my "rhythm", so to speak, that soon goes away.

in terms of how much i actually "go out", i've gone through different fluctuations as i've grown up, as i think most people do, but as an adult i'm definitely someone who loves going out and loves partying. i love drinking and drink culture too though, which obviously makes a big difference.
 

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I'm inbetween, but lean towards shy. I like to feel ''safe''- I don't want to go somewhere that I will be bullied or judged or looked at funny.

I don't like going to things by myself the first few times. Its one of the reasons I have had trouble getting established in a new church, because my family doesn't attend but I have one friend there, but she has a lot of friends, and I can't expect her to spend all her time with me just because I don't know anyone.

I can be talked into going into things, and I can be pretty extroverted if I'm hyped up. I like meeting interesting people and talking about different things.

When I go out, I try to put on a brave face and introduce myself by saying ''Hey I'm Stephanie, what's your name?'' smiling and giving a firm handshake, while wanting to run away and hide. If the people I'm around are nice, I will usually start to feel comfortable after about half an hour and start to feel more out going and engaging.

I think one of the differences between an extrovert and an introvert, is whether someone chooses to stick to themselves and be somewhat reserved after becoming familiar with a group of people or whether they end up being outgoing and crazy when comfortable, and also an introvert will probably get drained quicker with people they like than an extrovert will.
I don't think I'm a strong extrovert, but I desire affirmation from other people.
 

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To meet me, you'd think I was pretty outgoing. But once people try and get to know me one on one, I've very shy.

However, I definitely know I'm an ENFP. Everything "fits". I generally love people and am energized by them, I'm just a little shy. Ain't nothing wrong with that. : )

I'm going to be honest though and say that I wish I were more of a "hey everybody, let's get together" person. I usually wait to be invited to things, rather than inviting people myself.
 

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I wish I were more of a "hey everybody, let's get together" person. I usually wait to be invited to things, rather than inviting people myself.
I tried being liking that, but no one took me that seriously. I had a lot more luck with that sort of thing as a child, when everyone thought I was the coolest person ever!

I think it depends on your social group. I wasn't exactly the centre of mine, maybe that was the problem.

I set up a note on facebook with a list of my bucket list activities that I needed help with, and tagged about 50 people. I had a bit of luck with that, but there weren't any specific dates of anything.

Best of luck to you!
 

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Depends on what 'phase' I'm in at the time. I love exploring new things and meeting new people, I love LOVE forming interesting and new connections... but if I'm all burnt out or tired then interacting with people is the last thing I want the do.

I had an ENFP friend staying with me for two weeks and we were out every single day almost. Meeting people, eating out, etc. One evening we walked into a place that was just FULL of people and in an instant, the both of us just shut down and enough was enough. We actually ended up blowing everyone off and went and grabbed pizza and beer and spent the night at home vegging out on tumblr.
I do this all the time! Esp the grabbing the goods and vegging out on tumblr...whats your url?
 

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I have a lot of weird social anxieties, it's not the same thing as being shy because i'm not all that reserved. I just don't want to be around people that often, especially people I don't know. It's more of an uncomfortable feeling.
 

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I'm energized by being with people I get along with -- I could literally hang out with them almost all the time -- but when I'm in an unfamiliar place or am bored of hanging out, I keep quiet and stay in. On top of that, I don't get along with EVERYONE, but I try. =)
 

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I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety, which is spurred by not knowing how to present myself in certain situations. When I am working, I'm totally outgoing because I know that I am the sales assistant, it's my job to approach people and assist them, and to be friendly and helpful. If I go to a social event with friends, I feel more relaxed because I know that I am not necessarily alone. However, a few times I've gone to social events were I haven't known anyone, and I haven't ventured to try to get to know anyone. I can't do it. I fold in on myself and just become an observer (which doesn't bother me, as I quite like observing people).

But it honestly just depends on the situation and how I feel I fit into it.
 

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I've mentioned this on the INFP boards, but I'll go a little deeper here. What little time I'd get with my dad was spent discussing death and how we could die at any second. Because of that, I've had a lot of anxiety about losing the people closest to me. I don't trust the world and tend to withdraw quite a bit. Every time I say goodbye to someone, I have this deep pang that I'll never see them again. I'm pretty good at hiding it, although not with the person I was kind of seeing since the things I might never get to say to him are overwhelming. Anyway, I like meeting new people and it energizes me, but I don't like the thought of meeting someone new I could lose. It's getting worse, but I have hope that one day I'll overcome it.

So yeah, I'm pretty shy, but a lot of it's just anxiety. I love all of you on here, though. The conversations we have and the things I can share help me so much in my daily life. Not to get too sentimental haha.
 

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I voted the middle option. I'd say I'm plenty more outgoing than the average person—in general, under normal circumstances — but rough situations that interrupt my regular socializing usually require some slow rebuilding afterwards.

I definitely push myself to be the initiator and not miss out on social opportunities, but I've had these occasional bad phases where something like school or health problems force me into isolation for longer than I'd like. Even once the circumstances are out of the way, it can take me awhile (a few days, a month... depends how bad the isolation period was) to rebuild my old social confidence and trust myself to find the right balance of talking enough/keeping my mouth shut. However, once things are under control and my confidence is back, I don't exactly go looking for alone-time for awhile.... Practice makes perfect I guess!
 
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I've mentioned this on the INFP boards, but I'll go a little deeper here. What little time I'd get with my dad was spent discussing death and how we could die at any second. Because of that, I've had a lot of anxiety about losing the people closest to me. I don't trust the world and tend to withdraw quite a bit. Every time I say goodbye to someone, I have this deep pang that I'll never see them again. I'm pretty good at hiding it, although not with the person I was kind of seeing since the things I might never get to say to him are overwhelming. Anyway, I like meeting new people and it energizes me, but I don't like the thought of meeting someone new I could lose. It's getting worse, but I have hope that one day I'll overcome it.
Wow. What in the world?? I'm sorry, unless I shouldn't be. That sounds scary.

But to discuss the topic - I would say I'm in between. I used to be really outgoing when I was younger. I was like the class clown or some daredevil, or something or something.. or something.

I seem kind of serious but really I don't even care I just don't feel like talking
 
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