[dancininrain]

originally i thought shyness is not something i have to 'overcome', its my personality and thats it, right? so i realized that my shyness holds me back from doing things i want to do and stops me from making new friends, opening up and just experiencing life. it also makes my life way more stressful then it needs to be! so here is a young infp's question to the much wiser, how do i overcome shyness!?? do i do the whole fake it till ya make it cuz idk if im gona make anything by faking. please help!

 

[Cuervo21]

Hi there! I understand what your going through. I was very shy in school and I'm still a bit shy at times. Personally, I believe that if you think that your shyness is a part of you personality you should not change it unless you want to. But is there a given reason that your shy? Is it because your afraid of what others will say to you? You have to ask yourself questions as to why your shy. And once you find the answer try to figure out a way to overcome your shyness.

 

[LordRuin]

Cuervo21 is right. You're gonna have to find the "Why" before you can find the "Cure".

 

[Vin The Dreamer]

From what I've gathered through these forums, Introversion, feeling more at home in one's inner world than in the outer world, is what's inherent in our personality. Shyness, being nervous in social situations, is more circumstantial and we can change it if we want to. In my personal experience, faking it might help, but if you fake too much/too long you might feel disconnected from your real self. I'm still a bit shy too though, so there are probably other alternatives.

Hope it helps.roud:

 

[dancininrain]

Hi there! I understand what your going through. I was very shy in school and I'm still a bit shy at times. Personally, I believe that if you think that your shyness is a part of you personality you should not change it unless you want to. But is there a given reason that your shy? Is it because your afraid of what others will say to you? You have to ask yourself questions as to why your shy. And once you find the answer try to figure out a way to overcome your shyness.

Well the why is partially fear of rejection forsure. i dont know how to not care about what other people think. why shouldnt i care what they think? my relationships form my life and how i interact with people and how they view me is very important for my happiness. if no one likes me id be a pretty sad kid over here.

 

[K._]

Being shy is perfectly normal.

I used to believe that if I could just be more "outgoing" that I would be much happier and that my life would be much fuller and richer and that everything would be fixed.

However, what I've noticed, in myself and in other INFPs is that we prefer "Quality" over "Quantity" of friendships, interactions and experiences.

For INFPs, what could appear to be a simple interaction or trivial experience for someone else, could easily become a profound event or revelation.

My advice to you would be to pursue and cultivate your own interests and talents, bringing out the gifts that make you who you are and nourishing your self-esteem.

When you are feeling at your best, confident and secure in your inner world and in who you are, you will be emboldened and better equipped to engage with the world outside.

Start by saying "hi" to someone who seems non threatening or by pursuing a new intrest or hobby in which you can meet like minded people.

Asking questions is also a great way to start a conversation and are easy to come up with in any situation. (i.e. "What was the name of that thingy the teacher was talking about?"

And remember, the grass always seems greener on the other side, and while there is nothing wrong with taking a look and visiting once in a while (actually this is how we grow as people), often the result of these excursions is realizing just how amazing your side of the grass actually is!

 

[Luke]

I think you need to gradually step out of your comfort zone. The more experience you gain outside of your comfort zone, the more confident you will feel.

 

[WarriorDreamer]

Love yourself and who you are and see everyone else as a friend somehow. Remember to concentrate on your breathing and be 'in the room' in social situations. You have to be awake at all times and takes things slowly, one thing at a time.

 

[dileep]

As rightly pointed out.. you need to know why you are shy.. I have realized that I am shy because I fear that people might judge me the wrong way or even to put it in a better way.. I needed approval.. I just did not want to stand out.. That was the reason I was shy.. Having found that, I am on the path to accepting the fact that people will always do what they will and judge you the way they like.. In short, you cannot control them.. The only way I see of overcoming it is by De-sensitizing yourself to the stimuli that makes you shy.. I mean expose yourself more and more to what makes you shy.. It works.. You will no longer feel shy because you get used to it.. I am still working on it..Takes a lot of courage.. Wish you all the very best..