Shyness and Type
I know that I've read tons of times in multiple places that "Being introverted doesn't make someone shy, and being extraverted doesn't make someone very social and outgoing."
I've also heard "I know (or I am) an extravert who's shy, or an introvert who's very social and outgoing."
And finally, I've heard "There's absolutely no correlation between being shyness and E/I."
I totally agree with the first two, but I just can't quite buy the third. I know that there are shy extraverts and that there are outgoing introverts, but I have a hard time believing that the percentage of extraverts who are shy is the same as the percentage of introverts that are shy (for example, I have a hard time believing that if 30% of all extraverts are shy, 30% of all introverts are shy as well).
Now don't get me wrong...as mentioned earlier, I'm not saying that an introvert is automatically going to be shy. I also think that some introverts use that as an excuse for shyness, which I also think is wrong. Nonetheless, I can't help but think there is some correlation between shyness and introversion.
I'm not as well versed as a lot of people with the MBTI, so I don't have proof for this, only my own theories. But that's why I'm posting this...I know there have been related topics before, but I've had a hard time getting clear answers in them, so that's why I'm posting, in hope that some people might help clarify all of this for me.
First off, I think a whole lot of it depends on what the definition of "shyness" is. For example, if one of my well known friends introduces me to someone I've never met before, I'll be very open and talkative, (unless of course I feel on the outside of the two of them, which is rare). Or, if someone on a plane ride engages me in conversation, I can be very talkative. Or, if I'm with a small group of friends that I know well, I'm very relaxed and talkative.
But, if I feel pressure in a situation, I'm very quiet. Every now and then this happens one-on-one, but it's rare...only if I feel the need to impress someone, like an interview or meeting a girlfriend's father or something. Much more often, though, it happens in a group...at a big social event where I only know a few people, or if there's a group discussion among 8 people or so and I don't know anybody.
I've had people tell me I'm shy because of this. But is this me being shy, or me being introverted?
So that's the first issue. However, even though I know the common definition of introversion is one getting energy from oneself, I've also read that some traits are usually common among introverts.
For example, I've read that introverts usually prefer one-on-one discussion as opposed to group ones. I've also read that introverts prefer to think and reflect before blurting things out, whereas extraverts can usually talk and think as they're talking.
These aren't really parts of the definition of being an introvert, but I would imagine they're related, right? These things in themselves can even come across as shyness to some people, and if not, can certainly be related to shyness. If you prefer a smaller group setting, then being put in a large one will lead you to be more quiet. Same if you like to wait and think before talking, you're going to come across as more quiet. Is this shyness, or is it just perceived unfairly as shyness?
Finally, if an introvert prefers to be alone, then they probably do spend more time alone. That means they probably won't get as much social experience as an extravert, which may make them more uncomfortable in social situations until they get that experience.
So those are my reasons for thinking there could be some connection, especially if these habits are developed earlier in life. If anyone can add more to this or even refute it in detail, I'd be glad to hear it.
But here's the other main point of interest I have (which is also why I called the thread "Shyness and Type" rather than "Shyness and E/I"): How do the other three letters affect shyness, if at all? Is it possible that certain types of introverts are more likely to be shy than other types?
If so, I think it would greatly help to explain why some extraverts are shy and some introverts are outgoing.
And don't get me wrong, I know that (a) there are plenty of other factors outside of the MBTI which relate to/affect shyness, and (b) that no one person is totally extraverted or introverted, and that some introverts are more introverted than others, and so on. So I know there's more to it than just what type someone is.
Nonetheless, I'd really like to hear people's input on all of this!