Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 392 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I saw a long list on another forum about "signs an INTJ likes you" and I want to make a similar list just for all the weird and awkward and quirky things that INFJs do to show they like someone. I'm only looking for stuff that's particular to INFJs, and there can be contradictions in the list too- INFJs are complex people.

The format is this:
An INFJ might like you if:
...they're
...they're

(PS: i was going to start it off, but i wanted to see unbiased INFJ responses first. :tongue: After going through the "Signs an INTJ likes you" thread I'm afraid that the ones I write will be biased and that I'll pick out similar things, but I don't want to taint the direction of this thread! thanks)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,148 Posts
doing something naughty with your privates!
no no, well really thats a good sighn isnt it?

This is very hard its more likely you will know if i dont!

as a friend.
ask how you are via other mutal frinds
compliment you
sit next to you
lend you my stuff
ask you lots of questions
be happy to see you

thats a difficult one!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,849 Posts
I'm not sure if this is about romantic kind of liking or general admiration of someone so I'll just throw in both.

.. they're acting as usual around you then suddenly start to ignore you as if on purpose but without any apparent cause (likely they are crushing on you big time)
.. they're giving you those intense stares as if they are trying to peek into the deepest corners of your soul (you are interesting to them and they are trying to understand you better)
.. they have chosen you to be their advisor or confidante (if you're providing counsel to the counselor then you are for sure held in great esteem and given a lot of trust)
.. they being silly around you and/or sharing some weird ideas with you (same as above, they probably feel that they can trust you and that you are an intelligent person)
.. they're sending mixed signals, being warm and receptive then suddenly turning cold and trying to keep distance (they probably like you a lot but at the same time they are confused, Ni sometimes sees too many possibilities, perspectives, and consequences and this can be very confusing)
.. they're curious about you (while Fe of INFJs prevents us from asking very personal questions due to upholding social tact, they will want to know you better and cautiously proceed about it)
.. they're laughing at your jokes, flirting, etc.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,148 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
507 Posts
I do these. :)

I make myself actually avalaible to you / accept your iniatives / hint that I am interested in spending more time with you. I might be friendly and nice in social situations, but choose those whom I invest my energies on.

I ask a lot of questions and might make it seem really casual, but in reality it's all about learning more about you as a person.

I tell you about myself - it means I am opening to you in hopes of getting you to open more to me and getting to know you better.

I look at you in your eyes a lot and look at you, especially when you're not looking, intensely, trying to absorb in everything about you.

Well basically just making an effort to have you as a part of / keep you in my life, it should be noticeable enough, as I choose people in it carefully. If I keep in contact with you and want to know what's going on in your life and how you are on a regular basis, it means because I want to.

If I touch you in any way in conversation. Especially if I hug you and even though as awkard as I might get, try to make it a tight one.

A big one is when I make an effort even at my withdrawn episodes, like drop little hellos for you.

I really, really like you and might even love you if I banter with you, tell you to shut the fuck up and call you in the middle of the night and say I feel lonely and sad and disconnected. (Last has never happened, btw, but a hypothetical one).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
946 Posts
So is this "like" or "like like"? :tongue:

Basically just flirt a lot, then ask if you want to join me somewhere or get your number if I'm interested.

Usually I'm not interested these days, but I'm still a big flirt regardless.

Heh, I always like how INFJ's say "screw the format" on this type of post.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Oh wow :shocked: the comments so far on here have been a LOT different than what I thought.

Okay so this is the thread I copied- Signs that an INTJ likes you... - INTJ Forum

Do you guys relate to ANY of the stuff on the INTJ forum?!?! Because I found myself relating to a lot more of the stuff on there than what has been written already on the infj thread here :unsure::unsure::unsure:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,849 Posts
Do you guys relate to ANY of the stuff on the INTJ forum?!?! Because I found myself relating to a lot more of the stuff on there than what has been written already on the infj thread here :unsure::unsure::unsure:
many of those comments basically state "if INTJ notices your existence and bothers to talk to you, they may like you" -- I cannot relate to that because I seem to have an in-built people radar in my mind that tracks everybody, takes note of everybody, and acknowledges of everybody in my vicinity and actually just got a mini-promotion at work this week because of this natural ability to pay attention to people and keep track of lots of various details about them that I seem to have -- it is like I build extensive personality portfolios for everybody I meet semi-frequently at least so I definitely cannot relate to INTJ comments on this one

I can definitely relate to the "starts to ignore you" "wants to know as much as is possible about you" and "behaves somewhat unusually around you" comments but then I think this is standard modus operandi for all INxx introverts. I also think because of dominant Ni and inferior Se we'll probably overlap in some things with the INTJs.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
oh not THOSE ones about acknowledging someone's existence or all of those intellectually inferior comments. the lists get better after a few pages

I related to these ones:
-They may inadvertently compliment you by favorably comparing you to someone they dislike (even if that someone is in a 'higher' position)
-Avoids you at some times, but seems unusually personable at others (the INTJ is trying to find the best opportunity).
-A self-controlled and commanding INTJ becomes either stone-face and absolutely impassive around you, or becomes awkward and unsure.
-Attempts to casually discover your entire daily schedule so as to increase the likelihood of "chance" encounters.
-She seems to be ignoring you. However, she's listening to everything you're saying, with heightened interest.
-The Interested INTJ will initiate conversation to prove they have done research on a field previously mentioned.
-If it's clear they did research on you
-She brings up your name a lot, or refers to something you said, to mutual acqauintances or friends you have
-She remembers something interesting you said a while back, either as a direct quote or pretty close to that.
- She tries to analyze your handwriting sample

And just the general stalking comments hehe what do u guys think? i ask because i recently found myself doing those exact things!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10 Posts
A few of those INTJ comments related to me!

-A self-controlled and commanding INTJ becomes either stone-face and absolutely impassive around you, or becomes awkward and unsure.
-She seems to be ignoring you. However, she's listening to everything you're saying, with heightened interest.
-The Interested INTJ will initiate conversation to prove they have done research on a field previously mentioned.
-She remembers something interesting you said a while back, either as a direct quote or pretty close to that.
- She tries to analyze your handwriting sample < hahaha yeah..
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,849 Posts
I can relate to these:
-Avoids you at some times, but seems unusually personable at others (the INTJ is trying to find the best opportunity).
-She seems to be ignoring you. However, she's listening to everything you're saying, with heightened interest.
-A self-controlled and commanding INTJ becomes either stone-face and absolutely impassive around you, or becomes awkward and unsure.
-She remembers something interesting you said a while back, either as a direct quote or pretty close to that.
-If it's clear they did research on you


Cannot relate to these:
-They may inadvertently compliment you by favorably comparing you to someone they dislike (even if that someone is in a 'higher' position) - I'm not very comfortable giving compliments or receiving them. I dunno why, but generally if I am in process of ignoring somebody that last thing I'll do is giving out compliments. If it is like a friend sure I'll express my admiration and gratitude for them. I will not favorably compare them to someone I don't like as I don't like talking badly behind people's backs no matter how much I might not like them. I think this is more of a Te thing, lining up and comparing people in such competitive manner.
-Attempts to casually discover your entire daily schedule so as to increase the likelihood of "chance" encounters. - my stalking doesn't go that far as to try to increase chances of accidentally meeting, I like for things to appear and progress naturally
-The Interested INTJ will initiate conversation to prove they have done research on a field previously mentioned. - eh? field? don't get this one. I guess this has to do with demonstrating your competence. To the contrary I would try to demonstrate selflessness cuz that's what my Fe prizes most highly.
-She brings up your name a lot, or refers to something you said, to mutual acqauintances or friends you have - I try not to gossip about other people when they are not present there and this would fall under gossip.
- She tries to analyze your handwriting sample. - No, but I may ask for a handprint and try to analyze all the lines in the palm :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
I'm not sure if this is about romantic kind of liking or general admiration of someone so I'll just throw in both.

.. they're acting as usual around you then suddenly start to ignore you as if on purpose but without any apparent cause (likely they are crushing on you big time)
.. they're giving you those intense stares as if they are trying to peek into the deepest corners of your soul (you are interesting to them and they are trying to understand you better)
.. they have chosen you to be their advisor or confidante (if you're providing counsel to the counselor then you are for sure held in great esteem and given a lot of trust)
.. they being silly around you and/or sharing some weird ideas with you (same as above, they probably feel that they can trust you and that you are an intelligent person)
.. they're sending mixed signals, being warm and receptive then suddenly turning cold and trying to keep distance (they probably like you a lot but at the same time they are confused, Ni sometimes sees too many possibilities, perspectives, and consequences and this can be very confusing)
.. they're curious about you (while Fe of INFJs prevents us from asking very personal questions due to upholding social tact, they will want to know you better and cautiously proceed about it)
.. they're laughing at your jokes, flirting, etc.
Definitely!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
Awesome Idea! Lets see... what to we do... after I realize I like someone, I will start to...

... become awkward around them - can't decide whether I should ignore them or constantly talk to them. I want to constantly talk to them, but think this comes across as creepy, so I normally shut down around them more in public.
... talk more to their friends and people close to them (still ignoring them even if they're in the group at the time!)
... start acting funny or over-exaggerate things that I do while talking with my friends, in the hopes that they are watching and paying close attention to me too
... in private, I'll seek out more conversations, telling cooky stories

Then, once I've decided it's a real crush that's worth the effort,

... I'll start talking to you in public more, referencing the private stories we talked about before, remembering little things about you since I was actually paying very close attention
... start making fun of you, play-fighting, etc...
... have more intense private conversations that last hours. I'll start to reveal my philosophies and somewhat private stories, asking for advice on things that I don't really need advice for (I just want to see what you'll say)
... try to learn as much about you as possible
... start fretting over whether or not you ACTUALLY like me back, will discuss with friends what they think about encounters I tell them about
... will invite you somewhere in a group so that my friends can get a better idea of what I'm talking about, since I know I'm telling them very biased stories and have lost all perspective on the matter

That part can take a while, but if you haven't made a move after too long I will start to get really frustrated. Depending on how interested I am, I will either decide it's not worth my time and move on, or finally ask you out in an almost irritated "Why haven't you got the hint?!?!" kinda way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,276 Posts
I'm not sure if this is about romantic kind of liking or general admiration of someone so I'll just throw in both.

.. they're acting as usual around you then suddenly start to ignore you as if on purpose but without any apparent cause (likely they are crushing on you big time)
.. they're giving you those intense stares as if they are trying to peek into the deepest corners of your soul (you are interesting to them and they are trying to understand you better)
.. they have chosen you to be their advisor or confidante (if you're providing counsel to the counselor then you are for sure held in great esteem and given a lot of trust)
.. they being silly around you and/or sharing some weird ideas with you (same as above, they probably feel that they can trust you and that you are an intelligent person)
.. they're sending mixed signals, being warm and receptive then suddenly turning cold and trying to keep distance (they probably like you a lot but at the same time they are confused, Ni sometimes sees too many possibilities, perspectives, and consequences and this can be very confusing)
.. they're curious about you (while Fe of INFJs prevents us from asking very personal questions due to upholding social tact, they will want to know you better and cautiously proceed about it)
.. they're laughing at your jokes, flirting, etc.

That is a sign an INFJ likes a person? To me that is a sign that I should run away. :confused:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
605 Posts
That is a sign an INFJ likes a person? To me that is a sign that I should run away. :confused:
I would act the same way Vel mentioned, except I attribute it to the fact that emotions are confusing. I didn't expect INFJ's to have the same problem...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,276 Posts
I would act the same way Vel mentioned, except I attribute it to the fact that emotions are confusing. I didn't expect INFJ's to have the same problem...
It's the INFJ way...
Every male I have ever known has done that to me. To be honest it hurts when they do that. One day they are all loving and talking about a life time of being together. The next day they are critical as hell and colder than the north pole. That would drive a person nuts putting up with that.

I must have a lot of INFJ's that like me then. Becasue every one of them that I get to know does this to me.
 
1 - 20 of 392 Posts
Top