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“Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with…Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.”

Thoughts? Know anyone who acts a certain way when they need something, but acts different when they don't?
 

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Hmmm...that is a loaded quote/idea. I can see the logic and the truth in it but then I feel that a person must be flexible, different audiences demand different approaches. One would not talk to their 8 year old son or daughter the same way they would their co-worker. I do not agree with the whole complete flip flopping of morality though. The beggar on the street deserves the same kindness that the most respected person in a country deserves. I wholly agree with the last sentence about being wary of the person who is rude to people under them. When I see that in a person it sets off all sorts of alarms and red flags.

We should try and stick to our same values across the board but if a person is incapable of being flexible when in times of need it could bring about many problems. For example, and some of you might know this. Nelson Mandela who brought South Africa fame and respect around the world through winning the world cup in rugby with their national team even though the team wasn't expected to win any of the matches. He went to almost all of the matches interacted with the team on many occasions and really got caught up in the game. The thing is though that previous to seeing this possibility to unite his nation and bring respect to it he cheered and went for anyone who fought AGAINST their national rugby team. Previous to him taking office the rugby team was a symbol of the caucasians dominance in t he country so the natives cheered against them as a sign of rebellion.

This is shown in the movie Invictus, I would recommend it as a movie, Nelson Mandela is guessed as an INFJ too btw if that is any incentive.
 
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The really dumb thing is that such behaviour doesn't work in the long run.

Even if you take the values part out of the equation and operate completely from a selfish point of view - you are still better off being respectful/kind to people.

Tom Peters (the management guru) always talks about being nice to the "little" people (and there are no little people). Sooner or later you will be up against a deadline and you can't print a vital document because there is no paper - you look around the office - do people run up and try to help or do they pretend they have not seen you?

Always say please, always say thank you. It doesn't cost anything.
 

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As I was running through the scenarios in my head, I was having a hard time keeping straight whether it applied as a situational value or just a better understanding of their values.

I do understand situational values when it's obvious, like when a person is nice to their best friend, but in the next instance (in front of their best friend) they're a condescending asshole to the waiter. < :angry: Grrrrrrr>

But is that applying to a person having a change of values due to a "lesson learned" from the hard knock school of life, so perhaps behaved one way & then does an about face and does it another way? Or that the person does this, & not because they changed their values but because they section off a whole new set of values for each separate part of life. So, in other words, would we have to get down to something not readily visible, such as their motivation - to understand whether to be wary of them?
 

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I want to respond to this, but I'm scared of responding because my thoughts on this run so deep as to be a chasm... So I think I'll just say thank you for posting this, and rather than bore the snot out of everyone reading this I'll keep my thoughts and opinions inside for now, but I do sincerely thank you for posting this! :happy:
 

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Yes. Manipulation. It's dumb when someone does it to you with bad intentions. I feel as though there is a difference between being a flexible individual and this. When i read this, i thought of people in my life who act fake to get what they want or to make you feel a certain way to benefit themselves. Not genuine.
 

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Self-respect begets respect. Respect for others gives self-respect. Either way you want to say this, there is no need for a situational value sytem. When one is battling a said situational value system, the rules have changed, as Humilus Curator has mentioned. As with everything, there is good and bad...however you want to deem this. I have seen both sides of the coin.
 
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