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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Welcome,

This is a forum where you can feel free to share what kind of situations may set you off. Normally INTJs are very controlled people, but what could actually push them over the edge?

Im extremely curious myself of what could set another INTJ off on an insane joy ride of uncontrolled actions.

Please try to keep this thread clean and contained. Remember people will most likely come in out of curiosity, but they can leave with the knowledge of knowing what could save their lives or even other peoples lives. We all need help sometimes so please be informing and direct. Let people learn us for their safety. And to other INTJs, you may learn what to avoid to help best keep you in your self contempt.

Injoy,
Ange1icwolf​
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I would like to share a situation. One time i had had a rough day at school. When i got home my mother, who always greets and sks questions as soon as i open the door, immediately confronted me with her days problems. Most of the time its not a problem, but after a rough day I want nothing more than a little alone time to dwell on where my lifes heading. She decided to follow me to and enter my room. As i take the scolding quietly the anger just builds. I kept it in, but when your space bubble your tempted to let it out.

I have never known anyone as controlled as myself. So when I feel like ima lose it, it can give me strength knowing I haven't lost it yet, but when I have a bad day the best thing is the opposite of what people normally feel they need to do and try to be around you and comfort you.

I know its now easy having an INTJ child, but knowing how to really help your child only shows you really love them.
 

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Hmm... I remember having a moment almost like that during my time in Kwan-li-so No. 13 (i.e. elementary school). Anyway, I had spent that year (4th grade), and the year before that, and before that ... in absolute boredom. Usually I was able to satisfy my interests by sneaking off to read encyclopedias (a penal offense), but I had recently discovered the joys of the Internet. Thus, I had taken to maliciously editing Wikipedia (my trolling was super inane, too, in retrospect). At the same time, I had founded the "Atom Agency" with two other equally bored friends, and we spent our days sitting in the back of the library making bookmark folders of articles pertaining to alternative weaponry.

Once the camp authorities found out, I was detained in the principal's office all day, along with one of my Atom Agency comrades. I still get really angry about it now, more than 5 years afterward... My teacher sat there, smirking and chewing her tongue, while the principal berated me for expressing interest in real knowledge (read: evil capitalist deviltry). In the end, I was actually kind of slapped on the wrist -- losing the Internet for the rest of the year, though an absurdly unjust punishment, was fairly mild comparatively speaking. I remember sitting in class afterward, while the teacher explained how "essay" could be abbreviated "S.A." (the only thing, incidentally, that we learned about essays until many years later), and thinking the 4th grade equivalent of "Damn it..."

I didn't end up actually doing anything, but this may have been the closest that I ever came. I think the principal was at least halfway understanding and didn't actually probe me too much about what I was doing specifically on the computers or why; that probably would have done it.
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
At first I was reluctant to share this, but its fine. We only have the short time here that we're alloted.

It starts back when I was married. granted I was only 18, she wasnt pregnant yet, that took 6months. I put alot into our relationship. I didnt even look at other women, which coming from a guy is a big thing because to us theres nothing wrong with just looking. We had made it 3 years and 2 young boys later before she heated on me. Now, you put that kind of commitment down on one female you expect alot of commitment back. Now my mom has always helped me when she could, but she also has no one else to vent her problems on and I was always there, not jst for her, but alot of people. Anyway, shortly after she ad done that about 2 weeks later i had let her come back into my life. . .kids is who i was thinking about. The next day my mother needed me to run some errands with her, due to the fact it was bill paying day. We live 15miles from 3 different towns around us so i drove the whole family around that day. Obviously i didnt want to take my wife, but did anyway.

So we head o the first town and take care of what we needed, well she informs me halve way to the next town over she forgot to take and drop her book off at the library. Well, i am paying the gas and bairly have enough to do what i need to do along with her errands. So, obviously i say "we cant" and explain to her why. She grilled me all the way to the next town. Now there was me driving, my 2 year old and newborn son, my wife and my younger brother all in our crew cab F150 pickup.

Upon arriving at my sons doctors appointment we realize we are an hour early. So my mom, must have forgotten the reason we couldnt take the 45 minute ride back, starts grilling me again. States all she has ever done for me and reasons why i should take her back(this day is really going down hill) to drop her book off. Well, i had already been wondering why i took my wife back anyway, so my mind was ofcorse thinking of what she did. . . with my cousin. ontop of that and he overly constant grilling from my mom i snapped.

We had been waiting in the parking lot of the docs. right beside a busy highway. to spite my completely calm warnings the whole morning to my mother she continues, so i look her in the eye with a smile and tell her close the door, that we will go drop the book off. Now she refused briefly before i start the truck and put my seat belt on, still smiling seriously happy. I tell her to shut the door r loose it, as i through the truck into reverse.

Now, my younger brother is bigger than me and as i slam on the gas(highway right behind us) he puts me into a head lock from over the seat. At this time the truck is in drive and we're going off the curb throttle buried in the floor. This is taking place in a busy part of a small city. I didnt care for my life or my sons, i wasnt thinking of anything but the massacre i had been planning for years in my head. Anyway, God intervened because not even a block later at almost 110mph with my whole family and children screaming for there lives my mom had practically ripped my youngest in the car seat between us out the way and had her foot over both the break and gas at all er strength, so we came to a slow staedy stop.

I then get out of the truck and headed for a sidewalk like nothing had even happened. I remember one stranger just standing there watching the event from across the road, i headed up the middle of the road starring him straight in the eye thinking of weather or not to chase him down and end this innocent mans life. He must have realized i was slowing down from walking in the other direction so he took off. I continued and seconds later cops surrounded the scene. Realizing i was calmly enraged the cops set a perimeter all around me with there guns ready at the hand.

The point is an INTJ is very controlled untill they can take no more. I hope this opens people to the seriousness of what people can be capable of and what INTJs go through to make them lose themselves in a fit of insanity. Its important to know yourself aswell as what you can take.

I hope this helped describe what an INTJ once out of there calm state of mind is capable of.

P.s. Children and everyone were fine thanks to God and big momas foot.
 

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Four years ago I had an outburst. It was a long torturous summer with my ex-girlfriend. We had a lot of troubles while we get used to live with each other. So she was only starting fights on the same subjects (the actual problem is that I am introverted and hate going out as one might expect) so at one point after she started the same fight all over again I got so pissed that I started choking her. It took me a good chunk of time to realize what am I doing and I was horrified by my action and the realization that in a state like that I have no moral constraints and can do basically everything. Ever since I am trying to be more patient and calm no matter what. Not that I wasn't before but now I feel it is important to prevent myself getting into a state like that.
 

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Normally INTJs are very controlled people, but what could actually push them over the edge?

Im extremely curious myself of what could set another INTJ off on an insane joy ride of uncontrolled actions.​


For myself, nothing.

The entirety of my teenage and adult life has been about control. Self-control is one of my core virtues. One quote that I've lived my life by is the following by John Milton:

"The command of self is the greatest empire a man can aspire unto, and consequently, to be subject to our own passions is the most grievous slavery."

One's emotional reaction is determined by how one perceives a situation rather than by the situation itself.

Event --> Interpretation --> Emotion --> Action

Thus my emotional response to any given situation falls under my control as I decide how I will perceive the situation, and I will never allow myself to lose control of myself. I'm the type of person to do things deliberately and in cold-blood, not rashly act in the heat of the moment.
 

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I have only snapped once in my life and it was just like SoulScream explained. In a mere second I turned into something I was so committed never to turn into and it almost made that man's life... exponentially harder. Good thing is that, just like SoulScream, I have managed to wake up and realize what I was doing. Now I'm even more driven to never let that part of me out again. While I was walking home I couldn't believe I was capable of that. No rules, no morals, nothing to stop me in this world. That is how it felt.

By the way, the situation was not something unusual, just a jerk who crossed the line TOO MANY FUCKING TIMES, even after I told him to leave me alone over and over and over and over again. Really, it was a loooong time between when I started to tell him to beat it and when the snap! happened.
 

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Wow, it hasn't happened since I was a teenager and in an abusive relationship. My SO at the time kept trying to control every single move and breath I took as well as physically abused me, so one day I just snapped and I blacked out so I don't even remember what happened that made him truly scared of me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Four years ago I had an outburst. It was a long torturous summer with my ex-girlfriend. We had a lot of troubles while we get used to live with each other. So she was only starting fights on the same subjects (the actual problem is that I am introverted and hate going out as one might expect) so at one point after she started the same fight all over again I got so pissed that I started choking her. It took me a good chunk of time to realize what am I doing and I was horrified by my action and the realization that in a state like that I have no moral constraints and can do basically everything. Ever since I am trying to be more patient and calm no matter what. Not that I wasn't before but now I feel it is important to prevent myself getting into a state like that.
Thank you for that story man. We all know what we are capable of, its in our nature as who we are. Thats why its easier to control ourselves. How ever, there are times, as human beings, that we cant. I think starting this forum helps us get it out so we dont retain it as we INTJs tend to do. Thank you again.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·


For myself, nothing.

The entirety of my teenage and adult life has been about control. Self-control is one of my core virtues. One quote that I've lived my life by is the following by John Milton:

"The command of self is the greatest empire a man can aspire unto, and consequently, to be subject to our own passions is the most grievous slavery."

One's emotional reaction is determined by how one perceives a situation rather than by the situation itself.

Event --> Interpretation --> Emotion --> Action

Thus my emotional response to any given situation falls under my control as I decide how I will perceive the situation, and I will never allow myself to lose control of myself. I'm the type of person to do things deliberately and in cold-blood, not rashly act in the heat of the moment.
I think your a very fortunate person to have had a life where the exact circumstances weren't drop on you. I do think you, as an INTJ, do alot of thinking introvertedly as we all do. That kind of represion hits us all at some point or another and in some way. I do think John Milton is a wise man to believe in that, but i think just about all INTJ do. . . We are cursed and blessed with a rarity.

Part of our quality is to keep this fact in aswell, so not many at all will ever know just who and where we are. Thank you for sharing you confidence in yourself and that quote that we all should follow if we dont already. I hope to here more input from you.
 

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I sort of snapped a few months ago. I was engaged (keyword: was) and we had just set the date for the wedding. It was over a year away and I got to thinking, "are we really ready for this?" Well, long story short, I decided that we should wait for financial reasons. She flipped. She thought I was being "too logical" and wasn't "thinking about her feelings." I thought, "too logical? how is that even possible?" I told her she would thank me in the long-run and I was looking out for our future. She couldn't see it. I concluded that the date was more important than the "love" we shared. I explained that to her (as a typical INTJ would, no sugarcoating) and that was the end of it. I knew her 10 years and not once did I ever expect her to react like this. She is an ISFJ. I'm glad that it didn't work out. It would've been a lifetime of hell. Looking back, I don't know how we ever could have lasted. She would not have an intellectual conversation, yet she was very smart. I need to have that "mindmate" as Keirsey calls it. I saved myself by snapping because her illogical interpretation set me off. It's not always a bad thing.
 

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I think your a very fortunate person to have had a life where the exact circumstances weren't drop on you.
Eh... I don't know about being fortunate... I acknowledge there are people who've had it even worse than I have, but despite what people outwardly see, my life has hardly been what anyone would consider "normal," and the majority of it sucked. (Which is why only one person I know knows about my past, as I don't care for other people's judgment.) It's just that as a kid growing up, my own reaction was often the only thing I could control. And so I exercised control over the one thing I could.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Eh... I don't know about being fortunate... I acknowledge there are people who've had it even worse than I have, but despite what people outwardly see, my life has hardly been what anyone would consider "normal," and the majority of it sucked. (Which is why only one person I know knows about my past, as I don't care for other people's judgment.) It's just that as a kid growing up, my own reaction was often the only thing I could control. And so I exercised control over the one thing I could.
Well MasterMind, I know exactly what you mean. Weather this suprizes you or not, I think we think alot alike. Even for being of the same class of personality.

And, it does make it easier(sometimes) to control ones self when its one of the only things you have power over, not one of the only things you have power to do, lol, ofcorse.
 

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Welcome,

This is a forum where you can feel free to share what kind of situations may set you off. Normally INTJs are very controlled people, but what could actually push them over the edge?​



Fairly trivial example by comparison with other people's stories, but the last time I 'lost it' was at work a few years ago. I think if I listed the blow-by-blow sequence of event-then-event-and-then-they-did-this it would just be tedious.

Basically, I got myself onto a project, as the QA analyst, where nobody else on the team took QA seriously, and for once nobody even made an attempt to pretend they were taking us seriously, and the general atmosphere of open contempt and dismissal lit every fire that I had. It caught me on my blind side for a number of reasons, not least because this was a team I had previously known well and worked very happily with. For some reason on that particular thing the entire gang of them got together behind closed doors somewhere (it seemed) and formed a private cabal to dismiss and ignore every damned thing that we did, and undermine all the rest of our work.

I worked on it until all the avenues that there were had been tried and shown up to be blind. Then I kept working on it, out of sheer professional momentum, while being perfectly aware I was wasting my time and absolutely losing my shit. I kept following the due process that a QA analyst does, while knowing all the time as I did it that it was just setting myself up for more shit and that I wasn't going to take shit like that. And finally, when it reached the point where I was spending every conscious second that I was at work with 100% of my mind dedicated to not throwing a full-on firestorm of my own contempt for them all, I went to the VIP of Engineering.

Told him, 'You know when they publish those lists of signs for a suicide-watch, and one of them is you're suicidal if you're spending every waking second you have either trying to think up a way you could off yourself without ill-effects, or ordering yourself through gritted teeth not to do it? Well, that's where I'm at with respect to this popsicle stand. So I'm going to finish the last tasks on the project today, and the ever-loving SECOND that's done I'm leaving this building and not coming back for two days - because if I don't do that then I'm going to quit. I'm at the end of the rope.' So he told me to go away for the rest of the week, call him over the weekend if I wanted more time, and come talk to him again when I did. He warned me that when I did come back he'd want me to make an appointment and spell out my complaints in specific detail.

So I did that. It seemed like a fair reaction from him, and once I'd gone through it with him I agreed too that I had to schedule showdowns with the other major players involved. I despised them too much to WANT to communicate a damned thing to them, but I realise there's a certain kind of due process you have to do. Didn't quit, and I worked with the same people again under much better behaviour from them. I did give them credit for coming to the table with me, for what that was worth. But I didn't forget their behaviour, and them coming to the table didn't change the fact that they'd behaved in a way I despise.​
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I respect that lilysocks. The fact you didnt crush them for an undeserved form of undermining your work. One thing I cant stand is when co-workers have NO room to criticise, but they undermine your hard work. And we both know its in our charactor to be fully dedicated to our jobs. I respect that. Thank you for sharing your story.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Now one great example of a situation in which an INTJ may lose control would be an apparently, completely random event in which the INTJ has simply thought up a plot that needed an execution of loss of selfcontrol. Like an escape or such, lol.
 
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