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Small town or big city?

[INTJ] 
5K views 40 replies 32 participants last post by  Skimt 
#1 ·
As an INTJ (or whatever other type you are if you're lurking around), what is your preference?

As someone who has lived in both, I can see advantages in both for an INTJ, but I still choose the big city over a small town. There's something comforting about the anonymity and not having to worry about the whole town knowing about your business. Growing up in smaller cities/towns, I enjoyed the landscapes and outdoors. I was raised in small beach communities and had an affinity for the water, but one of the most annoying things about living in close-knit communities was having people get involved in certain areas of my personal life that I wanted to keep private.
 
#4 ·
I haven't lived in a big city (only small towns), but I kinda like the more local feel to the latter over the former. That being said, I usually retreat to other town nearby via driving if I want to stay private.
 
#5 ·
I hate big cities! I cant stand the neighbors, the traffic and many other things that come with city life. I live in a small town with a population of 2000 according to the US Census Bureau. With this there is a total of 500 families. I love this city because in is in the middle of BFE. I can sit in my room and no sales people come to my doors to bother me. About 2 times a year Jehovah Witnesses or Mormons show up but it is somewhat rare. There is a few flaws though. I need to travel out of town to do any shopping which is an hour commute each way. I need to commute to work however; I have never had an issue with traffic. Race internet is the only internet provider besides satellite and services are $65.00 month. There are only a few phone carriers but they are pricey. For cable I pay Charter in order to get a good rate however; the quality is crappy and they cannot bundle internet and hone because it is not offered in my area. No other services are in town besides satellite. There is one Gym which is crap and membership is around $60.00 monthly. Lastly, if you are not a social butterfly people think your odd, many rumors get started. Typical, small town gossip. I have thought about moving to a larger town however; I have a lot of anxiety when thinking.
 
#6 ·
I hate big cities! I cant stand the neighbors, the traffic and many other things that come with city life. I live in a small town with a population of 2000 according to the US Census Bureau. With this there is a total of 500 families. I love this city because in is in the middle of BFE. I can sit in my room and no sales people come to my doors to bother me. About 2 times a year Jehovah Witnesses or Mormons show up but it is somewhat rare. There is a few flaws though. I need to travel out of town to do any shopping which is an hour commute each way. I need to commute to work however; I have never had an issue with traffic. Race internet is the only internet provider besides satellite and services are $65.00 month. There are only a few phone carriers but they are pricey. For cable I pay Charter in order to get a good rate however; the quality is crappy and they cannot bundle internet and hone because it is not offered in my area. No other services are in town besides satellite. There is one Gym which is crap and membership is around $60.00 monthly. Lastly, if you are not a social butterfly people think your odd, many rumors get started. Typical, small town gossip. I have thought about moving to a larger town however; I have a lot of anxiety when thinking.
:laughing: I know that feel. I was like the Boo Radley of my town.
 
#10 ·
Don’t forget the advantages of big cities in terms of infrastructure, education, financial services, availability of immediate medical care, personal privacy, cultural diversity and events, bookshops, internet access, respect for religious plurality, all kinds of museums, etc.
 
#13 ·
I live in a small town with about 7 000 people.

...but one of the most annoying things about living in close-knit communities was having people get involved in certain areas of my personal life that I wanted to keep private.
I'm lucky to live in Finland for this particular reason. I'm certain a lot of INTJs would like to live here. There's literally no small talk here. If there's an empty buss seat for one people rather pick that one over the ones where someone already sits. The same while in the queue waiting for the bus - you usually don't speak with each other. It's no over exaggeration to say that people make sure the coast is clear (no humans in sight) before leaving their house and this includes one's own neighbors. While people certainly know the names of one another, people still don't intrude on other people's privacy. Like you can sit inside your house 24 / 7 and nobody cares. But of course there's gossip going around like anywhere else if you do anything eccentric. Still it sure is an amazingly human-free place.
 
#16 ·
I live in a small town with about 7 000 people.



I'm lucky to live in Finland for this particular reason. I'm certain a lot of INTJs would like to live here. There's literally no small talk here. If there's an empty buss seat for one people rather pick that one over the ones where someone already sits. The same while in the queue waiting for the bus - you usually don't speak with each other. It's no over exaggeration to say that people make sure the coast is clear (no humans in sight) before leaving their house and this includes one's own neighbors. While people certainly know the names of one another, people still don't intrude on other people's privacy. Like you can sit inside your house 24 / 7 and nobody cares. But of course there's gossip going around like anywhere else if you do anything eccentric. Still it sure is an amazingly human-free place.
I frequently am informed that Finland is an introvert's paradise. It looks like a lovely place to live in minus the weather. I've lived in California and Florida my whole life, so giving up the warmth and sunshine would be one hell of a sacrifice for me.
 
#14 ·
Big city or middle of nowhere. What most people think of as a "small town" is what bothers me - not enough to do but enough people to crowd my space.

Big cities have the appeal of offering many learning opportunities and cultural attractions. The largest I've lived in was London. I enjoyed it.

Countryside means more space and freedom to do as you like, and I enjoy "being in nature." I currently live in this kind of situation, my only neighbors are Amish... but I'd still prefer yet more isolation to tell you the truth.

Basically, I need either a lot of novelty or a lot of privacy and land. "Small towns" don't really have either.

If you're wondering why I'm scarequoting "small town", it's because the small town I grew up in had about 50-80 people in it... so this "Pop. 7000 is small" business amuses me because it so far outnumbers what I grew up with/in.
 
#15 ·
to live and to work on a daily basis - a cosmopolitan city with fine dining, live music, good comedy shows, clubs, public transportation to just about everything, decent work options, diverse population, anonymity (think Austin, San Fran, Stockholm, London, New York, DC, Mumbai, Bangalore, Portland, Boston, San Jose)
 
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#18 ·
Big city.

It's much easier to lose self in a sea of people, and to occasionally be reminded of how insignificant one can be; a good ass kicking in keeping a level head.
 
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#20 ·
I grew up in a small town and prefer large cities. I find large cities preferable partially for the reason you mentioned (that close-knit community thing was horrible), but also because larger cities generally afford more opportunities. There's more work to be found, more things to do, better places to shop, and so on.
 
#22 ·
I lived most of my life in a pop. 70,000 town and that was alright. Lived for a while in a pop. 10,000 ..way too small. Other times I've lived in pop. 100,000 and 200,000. Visiting 500-600k cities, those feel too big/crowded/busy for me...anything bigger than that is definitely way too much to live in.

I prefer the 100-200k size and living kind of out on the edge/suburb-ish/country-ish part of that. Just feels big enough to not have everyone know your business and such as well as just big enough for some nice things to do/places to see, and big enough pool of people to find a few cool ones...but not so big that there is massive traffic and people everywhere all the time which is my biggest issue in the actual "big cities". So whatever size you consider that.
 
#26 ·
Same. I grew up in the city and I never really liked it the longer I've lived here. Still here but trying to move somewhere more like suburbs or a small city/town. The only thing slowing me down is I'm trying to figure out a career path after college so I don't become a nomad after leaving the city. :tongue:
 
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#23 · (Edited)
I live in Sydney, it is a city of 5 million people.

And I would not live any where else. Yes, there is the advantages in terms of career and finance but that is probably the least interesting aspect of living in a big city.

A big city is a giant system which is a playground for Ni, one can view up close the workings of this thing we call civilisation. I love that I can stand in an intersection such as the one at 1:40 or 2:20 in the first video, and watch approximately 100,000 people walk past going about their business each day. Watching so many humans in this giant ant farm, one has an immediate sense of the scale of humanity and scale of the economy. To read the statistics of a civilisation in a spreadsheet is one thing, to be in it and close enough to touch it is something else.

The other thing about Sydney as per the second video, is the natural beauty. And the sense you are in civilisation and the beauty of nature at the same time.





 
#24 ·
Big city because people don't spy on you and gossip. They are also used to more diversity, so less likely to be interested in the "strange" things I do.

When it comes to the physical environment, I do prefer the countryside, but the social environment you find in villages etc. would make it impossible for me to live their.
 
#25 ·
I've lived in huge cities, medium cities, small towns, BFE, and more.

Give me a medium-large city any day. With so many people, there's anonymity and less nosiness from your neighbors. Assuming your neighbors want anything to do with you, that is.

I also like the variety in shops, food, entertainment, and more that comes with a city. I have eclectic tastes and prefer not to have to drive over an hour to get to an Asian grocery when I want decent curry.
 
#29 · (Edited)
in my experience of big cities, they're not as faceless as people think. it's true you can go out in public and nobody knows you in the grocery stores or the coffee shops. but cities are crowded, land is expensive and people live very close to each other. so right where you need the privacy most of all - in the place where you actually live - you're excruciatingly visible. my neighbours and i get to spy and eavesdrop on one another whether we want to or not, pretty much.

that's probably why the idea of rural life appeals to me even though i know i'm probably kidding myself about the boredom and the isolation**. i keep thinking: if you lived just outside the limits of whatever small town, you'd get a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig back yard. you'd be able to pretty much do what you like.

** edit: and the enforced facetime, of course.
 
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#32 · (Edited)
Grew up in the city and loved it for a long time. Then I moved out to smaller towns with nature more easily accessible and I couldn't move back. Yes, cities are nice for anonimity but you're also always surrounded by crowds of unfriendly people. I like the slower pace in small towns / rural areas and even though you tend to get more personal with people there's a lot more individual space which is what I like. Currently in a small town in the proximity of Sydney so if I really really want to get a taste of urban culture I can hop on a train and spend the day walking around, but the last few times I did that I noticed how glad I was to get back out of there. It's quite exhausting.

The house I buy in the next 5 years will be in a small rural community in between a small town and a larger urban centre. Far away enough to enjoy the slower pace of life and the proximity to nature, close enough to an urban centre to access facilities and enjoy a night out if you ever feel the need to.
 
#33 ·
Grew up in the city and loved it for a long time. Then I moved out to smaller towns with nature more easily accessible and I couldn't move back. Yes, cities are nice for anonimity but you're also always surrounded by crowds of unfriendly people. I like the slower pace in small towns / rural areas and even though you tend to get more personal with people there's a lot more individual space which is what I like.

The house I buy in the next 5 years will be in a small rural community in between a small town and a larger urban centre. Far away enough to enjoy the slower pace of life and the proximity to nature, close enough to an urban centre to access facilities and enjoy a night out if you ever feel the need to.
I'm the opposite & can relate to what you're saying on that basis :) the country is heaven to visit, but he'll to live in, for me :) I think smaller communities are better for likable people - I'm not :) :( :)
 
#38 ·
<<<<<<<<<-----------------------take it frum a koon!

How bout neither?

865581


Gawd! Keep me in the wilderness. Fuk 'civilization".
 
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