Also that sounds pretty much like how it was when it was good. I'd be much more capable of handling one today. There is one thing about ENTJ-ENFJ relationships and that's ENFJs do influence ENTJ's feelings and ENTJs influence ENFJ's thinking.
The ENTJ I find is a good balance between the two: fiesty and assertive about what he wants, and not afraid to learn to use his feelings, at the same time assessing when and how is appropriate to use them. I could learn a thing or two about that from him.
I know how I feel in a crowd, and it depends on the crowd.
If it's at a party, I'm content, but I'm somewhat stressed. If it's not at a party, I'm probably annoyed and shoving my way through the crowd. I didn't read the rest of this thread, because it was tl;dr, but I can tell you, @motionpicturesoundtrack, ENTJs and ENFJs clash, generally, unless there is common ground, like shared values. I would tread lightly, here. Both of you are Js, so commitment is going to be very powerful, but be sure to not OVER commit, even though that just sounds impossibru. My interaction with ENFJs is that it's always a fight for power and nobody wins, but we get along fine in a group setting. One on one it is poisonous, though.
As for feelings in a crowd. It feels good to be surrounded by people. I like the atmosphere even if I'm not engaging them.I don't feel lonely ever - in fact I enjoy it. A fair bit.
I like ENFJs, we have a lot of fun and work very well together, but never been involved with one. I think I was with an INFJ or INFP. It was nice while it lasted.
Well I have to be honest, there are times when the environment is just too good that I can enjoy it without doing anything. Unfortunately, it rarely lasts long as someone always comes up to me and decides to have a conversation - my poor whisky usually has to wait. She's like a long suffering partner, especially since I've decided I need some time off.
Quirk aside. It really depends on the sort of music that I'm attending - if it's largely performance based as in more theatrics over music - I'd prefer a big crowd because it's nice to be part of a huge reaction. If it's purely music - I prefer an intimate setting. If any of you guys like the concept of intimate concerts check out SOFAR sounds (sounds from a room) - it's usually held in someone's house/living room and there's about 40-50 people attending in that tiny space. It's free but you've got to sign up and a lot of the artists are up and coming. Started in London but has no spread to multiple cities. Rafa the organiser is a pretty decent bloke.
ENTJs do respect intelligence in another. In fact, an instant turn-off for me is when my partner tells me 'Oh you're so much smarter than me'. I might be smarter than you or not - it doesn't really matter but don't tell that to me. That makes it seem like there's no possibility for growth. I've heard this line told to me a number of times and it pretty much kills it for me.
The female ENTJ to male ENFJ is harder because of society - we've mostly been raised to see women more compassionate than men and men more to be more mentally tough and this brings a few complications. If society hasn't brainwashed you with that - it should be easier.
Why apologise for strutting your feathers? We're used to that and it doesn't phase us - we've all been strutting here at one point or the other.
See those sort of debates and discussions wouldn't really wear you guys down as much though it would scare other people off. I've only come across several introverts who can't deal with such behaviour. Extroverted intuitives can deal with it because of a shared perspective.
For instance my INTP kid brother avoids confrontation like the plague which also means when we have a disagreement I don't hear from him for a while.
It sounds like you two could be a power couple that would hold influence in your social circle. I say embrace it and focus on the positives. I think it should be fine.