Personality Cafe banner

So how comes there are so few ENTJ-ENFJ threads?

9063 41
Trying to gauge dynamics between the two above types for a possible long-term relationship...

I've scoured old posts but they are few and far in between. Could it be perhaps that the ENFJs and ENTJs are actually a fantastic match, and their absence from these forums indicative of a blissful and satisfactory connection that transcends the need for discussion? :p

I know exactly how I feel about him and I'm also aware that each relationship is unique beyond MBTI type. What I'm looking for is general comments about your experiences, whether romantic or non, with ENFJs.

Any input? Would be much appreciated!
  • Like
Reactions: freezeframe
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Which is great in my opinion. Helps both individuals grow and become more well-rounded. I think ENFJ and ENTJ could be great. Our Fe lets us understand their way of thinking and their Te could potentially allow them to cognitively understand our way of being.

Personally, I get annoyed with my own sensitivity and Fe and wouldn't want a match with the same characteristics because I would probably get annoyed with it/that person really easily. I like being challenged and pushed a bit, which an ENTJ isn't usually afraid of doing.

Also that sounds pretty much like how it was when it was good. I'd be much more capable of handling one today. There is one thing about ENTJ-ENFJ relationships and that's ENFJs do influence ENTJ's feelings and ENTJs influence ENFJ's thinking.
Sounds ideal to me! I am curious what other ENTJs think though. I wonder if more would respond if you posted this in their relationship advice thread. (They may or may not be picky about the creation of multiple threads).
The ENTJ I find is a good balance between the two: fiesty and assertive about what he wants, and not afraid to learn to use his feelings, at the same time assessing when and how is appropriate to use them. I could learn a thing or two about that from him.
You're speaking of both the ENTJ and ENFJ in their most extreme forms though. We're all shades of our type and don't necessarily utilize our functions in the exact order and manner deemed appropriate for our type. A mature and healthy person can access and develop more functions to become well-rounded.

I'm Fe dom and yet I can say I think it's a dumb idea to discount the matching based on the extremes. I can also say that it's your opinion though, so I have nothing against it.
That crowd thing is very common for ENFJs but it's kind of silly. Like, obviously we're not alone, we just feel like it because with so many Fe's hitting us at once I think we get overwhelmed by it and can absorb none of its energy. I think we're grounded by people. People provide us a point of reference, so when there's so many people there's too many points of contact and we just shrink. Unless, that is, we have a particular role in the crowd, in which case we execute it beautifully. Ish.
How do ENTJs/LIEs think/feel in a crowd?
My interaction is that there can be ways of dealing with that one on one power struggle in creative ways.
I know how I feel in a crowd, and it depends on the crowd.

If it's at a party, I'm content, but I'm somewhat stressed. If it's not at a party, I'm probably annoyed and shoving my way through the crowd. I didn't read the rest of this thread, because it was tl;dr, but I can tell you, @motionpicturesoundtrack, ENTJs and ENFJs clash, generally, unless there is common ground, like shared values. I would tread lightly, here. Both of you are Js, so commitment is going to be very powerful, but be sure to not OVER commit, even though that just sounds impossibru. My interaction with ENFJs is that it's always a fight for power and nobody wins, but we get along fine in a group setting. One on one it is poisonous, though.
  • Like
Reactions: Devil
Curse you and that Te for letting you make sense of things...

"I don't feel lonely ever - in fact I enjoy it. A fair bit". Read - 'I fucking love being part of a crowd. It makes me feel like I belong'

How do you feel at a large (or small) outdoor concert?

As a complete aside, I heard in the UK you have these silent discos I think they're called? Brilliant!
As for feelings in a crowd. It feels good to be surrounded by people. I like the atmosphere even if I'm not engaging them.I don't feel lonely ever - in fact I enjoy it. A fair bit.
  • Like
Reactions: Devil
I can definitely see ENFJs and ENTJs collaborating to get shit done in a professional environment if they weren't doing the power struggle thing and if they both respected each other. From what I've heard ENTJs seem to respect intellect or intelligence in another. Is that true?

Yeah as Devil mentioned, I can't imagine it would work as well with a female ENTJ, but hey anything is possible.
I like ENFJs, we have a lot of fun and work very well together, but never been involved with one. I think I was with an INFJ or INFP. It was nice while it lasted.
  • Like
Reactions: Tea Path and Devil
That SOFAR things sounds awesome but I just checked and there's none in my area :( I love going to concerts at bars. It's a much more intimate setting and you can literally feel the vibration of the music. And that whole alone in a crowd thing might still be there, but not in a bad way. It's a separate togetherness. :cool: There's something great about a giant concert too, though.

Yeah I thought intelligence/intellect was a thing. I knew an ENTJ who was actually really turned on by it, but in the sense that I think it was then a challenge as to who would give up that power. He liked to win.
Well I have to be honest, there are times when the environment is just too good that I can enjoy it without doing anything. Unfortunately, it rarely lasts long as someone always comes up to me and decides to have a conversation - my poor whisky usually has to wait. She's like a long suffering partner, especially since I've decided I need some time off.

Quirk aside. It really depends on the sort of music that I'm attending - if it's largely performance based as in more theatrics over music - I'd prefer a big crowd because it's nice to be part of a huge reaction. If it's purely music - I prefer an intimate setting. If any of you guys like the concept of intimate concerts check out SOFAR sounds (sounds from a room) - it's usually held in someone's house/living room and there's about 40-50 people attending in that tiny space. It's free but you've got to sign up and a lot of the artists are up and coming. Started in London but has no spread to multiple cities. Rafa the organiser is a pretty decent bloke.

ENTJs do respect intelligence in another. In fact, an instant turn-off for me is when my partner tells me 'Oh you're so much smarter than me'. I might be smarter than you or not - it doesn't really matter but don't tell that to me. That makes it seem like there's no possibility for growth. I've heard this line told to me a number of times and it pretty much kills it for me.

The female ENTJ to male ENFJ is harder because of society - we've mostly been raised to see women more compassionate than men and men more to be more mentally tough and this brings a few complications. If society hasn't brainwashed you with that - it should be easier.
Why apologise for strutting your feathers? We're used to that and it doesn't phase us - we've all been strutting here at one point or the other. :)
See those sort of debates and discussions wouldn't really wear you guys down as much though it would scare other people off. I've only come across several introverts who can't deal with such behaviour. Extroverted intuitives can deal with it because of a shared perspective.
For instance my INTP kid brother avoids confrontation like the plague which also means when we have a disagreement I don't hear from him for a while.
It sounds like you two could be a power couple that would hold influence in your social circle. I say embrace it and focus on the positives. I think it should be fine.
  • Like
Reactions: Devil
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.