Personality Cafe banner

1 - 5 of 5 Posts

·
Registered
Enfp 7w8 ;p
Joined
·
185 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hey everyone,
So before I start I just wanna say yes I am asking for advice with a guy and yes I realize that is kinda childish but sometimes that's how it be. So choose to stay at your own risk hahahaha
I've liked this guy for a long time, longer than I've really liked anyone else, which isn't really saying much. We're friends, not super close or anything but we hang out a lot. And although he's not really the type I would normally go for, the more I hang out with him the more I like him. Like he's compassionate, cares about people, super chill, and has a good sense of humor. He just has this way of speaking to you that makes you feel like he's only looking at you. That your like his best friend.
In our group of friends, he's talked about what his type is when it comes to girls and it seems I would fall into it personality-wise. "Outgoing and a little .ore opinionated," among other things.
I just feel he's never gonna look at me that way. And I mean he's a really good guy, and a lot of girls like him. So he could honesty have his pick of anyone but he doesn't seem to really think that's true. Like all the girls only care about his looks, which I could see that happening but I think it's terrible that he feels that way.
If I try I can usually get a guy to consider me at the least be interested. But I just don't think I could get him to like me. I mean we're now super close like he is with his other friends. And he's a hugger he loves to hug people. But the last few times he hung out (When things weren't so crazy) I'll hug everyone else, but I miss him. It's like he's holding back and it kinda hurt in a way cause it's all the sudden like I did something wrong.
So I don't know I feel like I might have ruined things or if I said something. But maybe he just doesn't like me it's not that crazy of an idea. The other problem is that one of his guy friends, liked me and texted me a lot but it petered off and I told him I valued our friendship but I didn't like him like that. And now his friend is in a committed relationship and is doing great!
I guess what I'm trying to say is I really like this guy, more than I thought I would. But I don't wanna ruin our friendship. And now I'm worried it'll not only make things weird with him but possibly his friend. And in a childish way hahahaha I don't know what to do. And it's frustrating, cause he doesn't make me nervous persay. I just can't explain it. And even if he doesn't like me I still want to be closer friends with him because he means a lot to me.
And a part of me just wants to drop it and forget about him, but I don't know what to do so I guess I'm hoping for some advice hahaha
 

·
Registered
INTP
Joined
·
3,909 Posts
Think of a diplomatic way to raise the subject of romantic feelings and/or you two getting together. Maybe preface it with something like, "I value our friendship and wouldn't want anything to mess it up."

If he says no to romance, your friendship will probably continue to be fine. It might even be better, as you seem to be going through some kind of awkward phase right now.

Of course if you get together and then break up, that could be bad for the friendship.
 

·
Registered
Enfp 7w8 ;p
Joined
·
185 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Think of a diplomatic way to raise the subject of romantic feelings and/or you two getting together. Maybe preface it with something like, "I value our friendship and wouldn't want anything to mess it up."

If he says no to romance, your friendship will probably continue to be fine. It might even be better, as you seem to be going through some kind of awkward phase right now.

Of course if you get together and then break up, that could be bad for the friendship.
Okay that's a good idea! I think my main worry is that it'll be awkward with his friend. There really close and even though he's in a great relationship he's still kinda weird about me not liking him that way. And I know for a fact he talks about me to g he guy I like, it's just a strange situation. And I don't wanna ruin anything, my last relationship didn't end so great and I'm worried that the same thing will happen again. Its like I'm just not good enough or something, which isn't totally out of the range of possibilities hahaha
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
13,604 Posts
I don't really understand.

If you're friends with him, then maybe just try to do more things with him and be closer friends with him?

And then if you feel like you have feelings for him after that, then tell him you do.

I just don't get where his friends and all these other girls and everyone else have anything to do with anything.

Friends care about each other's best interests. They consider who they are and what they need. A good friend will support another friend regardless of who anyone has a crush on etc.

It almost sounds to me like he really doesn't know you well and you don't know him that well, so I would say first step is cut away everyone else and cultivate a friendship with him if he's interested--and then see how compatible you are after that.
 

·
Registered
Enfp 7w8 ;p
Joined
·
185 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
I don't really understand.

If you're friends with him, then maybe just try to do more things with him and be closer friends with him?

And then if you feel like you have feelings for him after that, then tell him you do.

I just don't get where his friends and all these other girls and everyone else have anything to do with anything.

Friends care about each other's best interests. They consider who they are and what they need. A good friend will support another friend regardless of who anyone has a crush on etc.

It almost sounds to me like he really doesn't know you well and you don't know him that well, so I would say first step is cut away everyone else and cultivate a friendship with him if he's interested--and then see how compatible you are after that.
The reason I worry is that he is the kind of person that wants to make everyone happy, whether it makes him happy or not. Which is sweet and all but he does this in every respect of his life. He wants everyone to be happy so bad that he doesn't consider himself. So I just feel it's end bad.
I'm gonna take your advice though. Cause I know him just not as well as I should or that I want to.
 
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
Top