That's the thing. Most of the people back thread weren't complaining about SX-the-instinct in the wild as much as they were complaining about how the placards for the different instincts are written in this zoo and how that influences where the crowds go. I think Pixel brought the stuff about SX up to begin with and he's made it quite clear that he actually likes SX doms.Bottom line: When I hear people complain about another instinct I'm listening for a contrast of preferences underneath along the lines of the rest of your post below.
If you're clinging to the idea that SO has some generalized bias against SX, you won't ultimately get clarity, so I hope you aren't. That will color your reading of things.But it does have to do with how SO looks at the SX instinct and offers a glimpse at the biases against it.
The "it" I was referring to there was the way I see some SX and/or SX-identified people reacting to their own biases and ideas about SO. The point I was making was that the reactions are less in response to actual SO people doing actual SO things, and more in response to the Platonic abstraction of SO they are carrying around in their heads.
The "it" you're referring to is, I think, my statement itself and what you think you can glean from it. But you'd be wiser to take it as how one likely-SO dom conceptualizes SX and/or how she sees dynamics on this forum playing out more broadly (and it is broadly, because I wasn't even just referring to properly typed SX doms when I described them). If you feel like you're getting something useful from it though, good.
"Peacocking" taken literally indicates a mating display, and striving to be chosen for merging by an other - having that drive permeate even unrelated activities - is definitely SX territory. I won't debate it because I know that if someone wants to go survey this forum and look for the kind of thing I'm meaning coming from people with sx in the stack, they'll find it. (I don't exclude myself from that, either, as an SX second who on paper relates about as much to sx/so descriptions as to so/sx)BTW from my own personal SX-first experience, SX has nothing to do with peacocking. That could take place with SO-first or certain types as well.
But sure, any type can show off when they're trying to actually attract someone, and other types can end up preoccupied with status displays, too. The motivations aren't necessarily the same though. SX status displays are very "I'm best/strong and beautiful/pick me," SO-motivated status displays are usually more like "I'm a paragon of community values, admire me, give me influence."
This seems most relevant to SO-last and not simply SX-first. IME SO-last doesn't want to be absorbed into social expectations.
Sort of, yes: That is, I think that when I've seen the dynamic I tried to capture in paragraph 2 "in the wild" it occurs most often and most dramatically between SX/SP people and SO doms - less so with SP/SX, maybe because they aren't always as obvious and vehement in their pos/neg reactions to things. And less so with SX/SO people, or not in the same way.
But since SO is an instinct that, as you said, everyone has, a need that everyone needs to have met... I've noticed most that SO-last people seem to resent being made aware of social expectations and group dynamics at least as much as they avoid participating in them. I don't necessarily see them consistently just not getting involved, including in some of the more down and dirty political ways. But often either they lack awareness of what they're doing, or they are extremely resentful of having attention called to it. They can be quite difficult to deal with in some situations from an SO perspective, yes, because they may want to participate and try to participate, but when they participate they may also 1) want not to be held accountable to group norms and to other group members, despite benefiting from the presence of both when they choose to be involved, or 2) want everyone to pretend they are more removed than is true, and aren't engaging in social behaviors we can clearly spot them doing.
It can equate to an expectation that we (SOs) muffle our natural awareness of group dynamics and help them preserve this illusory sense of being an island among men, in order to interface with/accommodate them without a scene being caused.
I actually wonder if other types also feel like they are vulnerable to being "gaslit" and sometimes parasitized in this way by people blind to their dominant instinct. I do think that as an SP-last I have a tendency to brush off more SP-heavy people's concerns for stability and physical safety as being based on nothing and looking at it this way makes me wonder how much frustration I've been causing some of my SP buds by accusing them of being big babies and what not. :smug: