So what in the WORLD does it take to get an ESFP to commit? Age? Because if that's the case, I'm done. And I'm not talkin marriage, dude. Just ... relationships wise.
He keeps coming around and then taking off and I can't stand it.
I want to know the exact same thing. PLEASE someone give some insight!
I'm an ISFP. I was in a relationship with an ESFP guy who really left a mark on me. We met at a sophomore college party. Magnetic attraction right away. He told me off the bat that he didn't want to get married until he was older. He wanted to do a lot of traveling first, and he was terrified of getting 'boring' like his married-couple friends. I was fine with that, I wasn't in a hurry to settle down either!
He fell for me (I was already completely head over heels) and asked me out very romantically.
We dated for about 5 months. He was the guy of my dreams and I felt like I was the 'perfect' supportive and funloving girlfriend. It was really exciting going to clubs and restaurants and events (not something an introvert like me does all the time, but I absolutely loved it with him!) His values were pretty conservative, but he was one of those guys who could never sit still for too long. His friends told me I was his first serious girlfriend.
One night when we were leaving a club we got pulled over. He was *barely* over the alchohol limit but they still put him in handcuffs and got ready to haul him to jail for the night. I'm an introvert, but I just started crying and crying, I felt so horrible for him; nothing about it was fair. Inside, I was realizing how much he really meant to me. When I tried to hug him before leaving he told me to "Just go".
From that point, slowly, he started becoming more distant. He was a pro at talking alot without really saying anything substantial. Whenever I tried to ask what was up, he would shift the conversation to something jolly, or jump into whatever our next activity was. He started to hang out with friends without inviting me along. He was always cheerful but I could tell something was wrong.
He asked me to meet him for a talk one day. I thought "Great, he's finally going to apologize for ignoring me so much, and this phase will be over". He told me his "feelings had changed" and he didn't want to keep dating, and he traced it back to that one night. It was like the ground dropped out from under me. I just couldn't believe it was that simple. It was a what-the-hell-just-happened, jaw-dropping pain moment.
This was several years ago. He never came back around; he had a lot of chances but he made it a clean break. I finally emotionally stopped waiting.
What was he so afraid of??? He didn't start dating other women as far as I know.
And how can someone so talkative have such a HUGE communication problem?