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3,623 Posts
Well I'm psyched! My "Schizoid Personality Disorder" has been bumped up to Schizoaffective disorder!
How did I get so lucky you might be asking yourselves. Well it started with a trip to the ER and a bp of 250/165. (A new record for me btw)
One thing I've learned is sleep deprivation can really fuck with your head. And so can drugs, sweet sweet wonderful drugs...
Kinda off track a little bit.. sorry but this one voice keeps talking to me
Anyways I probably shouldn't have been screwing with the doctors but I don't like being lied to, and frankly when I'm not taken seriously I at least want to have fun. Who would have known they might want to have me sent to a psych ward...
I wonder, is it really that wrong to use your own body for experiments? I learned some very valuable information about myself and hospital procedure that may save my ass down the line. I realized a few years ago if I was going to find out what was wrong with me I was going to have to do it alone. I have several theories yet to test but since I don't have access to the equipment or other test subjects I use whatever tools I have at my disposal. Usually this is my own body and various methods of manipulating states of mind and physical reactions. I then compare these to normal responses and use it to determine if my theory was accurate or not. I have been able to verify some conditions which I then have a "professional" who rarely takes me seriously and tries to write me off confirm.
I get immense pleasure from humbling those that think they know so much. I'd rather be able to work with or at least be taken seriously by these people as I respect what they do, but I'll settle for what I can get.
So why is it I'm looked at like I'm crazy when I say I have been keeping myself up intentionally to rebound on rem sleep? Or that I think a neck injury when I was 6 damaged the arteries and veins in the back of my neck restricting blood flow causing my brain to signal to my heart to pump harder? Isn't that rational thinking? They can't explain anything so they don't even try.
I might be crazy but I also see truth amongst all the delusions, instead of just the darkness from keeping my eyes closed. Actually i'm pretty sure i'm nuts but that's not really related to this
How did I get so lucky you might be asking yourselves. Well it started with a trip to the ER and a bp of 250/165. (A new record for me btw)
One thing I've learned is sleep deprivation can really fuck with your head. And so can drugs, sweet sweet wonderful drugs...
Kinda off track a little bit.. sorry but this one voice keeps talking to me
Anyways I probably shouldn't have been screwing with the doctors but I don't like being lied to, and frankly when I'm not taken seriously I at least want to have fun. Who would have known they might want to have me sent to a psych ward...
I wonder, is it really that wrong to use your own body for experiments? I learned some very valuable information about myself and hospital procedure that may save my ass down the line. I realized a few years ago if I was going to find out what was wrong with me I was going to have to do it alone. I have several theories yet to test but since I don't have access to the equipment or other test subjects I use whatever tools I have at my disposal. Usually this is my own body and various methods of manipulating states of mind and physical reactions. I then compare these to normal responses and use it to determine if my theory was accurate or not. I have been able to verify some conditions which I then have a "professional" who rarely takes me seriously and tries to write me off confirm.
I get immense pleasure from humbling those that think they know so much. I'd rather be able to work with or at least be taken seriously by these people as I respect what they do, but I'll settle for what I can get.
So why is it I'm looked at like I'm crazy when I say I have been keeping myself up intentionally to rebound on rem sleep? Or that I think a neck injury when I was 6 damaged the arteries and veins in the back of my neck restricting blood flow causing my brain to signal to my heart to pump harder? Isn't that rational thinking? They can't explain anything so they don't even try.
I might be crazy but I also see truth amongst all the delusions, instead of just the darkness from keeping my eyes closed. Actually i'm pretty sure i'm nuts but that's not really related to this